You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating: Fatherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Even if you did have a “how-to” guide, every kid is different, so the advice you’d get would be spotty at best. 

Having said that, don’t be discouraged. It is possible for dads like you to learn how to overcome parenting challenges. That’s because you have a loving Father who walks with you. You also have His Word, which is your best possible starter’s guide for overcoming parental challenges.

 

Identify Your Struggle

Parenting issues take many forms. So, before you can determine how to overcome parenting challenges, you have to name the what you’re facing. 

For example, many parents face behavioral issues with their kids. It may be words, or it may be actions, but the struggles are real. Another family-based issue is the tension of staying on the same page with your spouse—or, even more complicated, a former spouse.

Sometimes, the work of overcoming parenting challenges requires a look inside. You might be carrying some unrealistic expectations for yourself or wrestle with the false belief that you have to be the perfect parent. On the other end of the spectrum, comparisons may have you feeling like a failure. 

Regardless of what your situation looks like, you can learn how to overcome these parenting challenges. Take the first step by naming what you’re up against. Once you’ve identified it, you can develop a strategy for resolving it.

 

Overcoming your parenting challenges

Naming the problem is a big first step in figuring out how to overcome parenting challenges. But it’s not the only practical action you can take. Below, we’ve listed seven things you can do to start moving in the right direction.

These principles might seem difficult and will probably move you out of your comfort zone. But they will be worth it in the long run—for you and your children.

  • Focus on the present. When you’re struggling with how to overcome parenting challenges, the temptation is either living in the past or worrying about the future. Both are easy, but neither are productive. Being stuck in the past produces guilt and emotional paralysis over things you can’t change. Stressing over the future puts the focus on worst-case scenarios that rarely materialize. Instead, live in the present by letting go of the past and placing the future in God’s hands.
  • Know what you can control. As a man, it’s natural to think you can solve any problem that comes along. As a father, you might see it as a moral obligation. But the key to overcoming parental challenges is discerning what you can control and what you can’t. That way, you can focus your energy on stuff within your power to resolve instead of stuff beyond your reach.
  • Learn from your mistakes. Baseball players who only get out 70% of the time are celebrated. That’s because “perfect” in any human endeavor is a myth—parenting included. You will make mistakes, but you can learn from those mistakes. As you do, you’ll also learn to handle parenting obstacles more effectively.
  • Work with your spouse. As mentioned, one big challenge parents face is staying on the same page. Obviously, the tension increases if divorce is part of the equation. Still, you need to work together. Whether you’re married or divorced, you can still be a team. Refuse to assign blame for current or past mistakes and provide a unified front for your kids. 
  • Define what “success” looks like. Just like you need to name the problem, you also need to name the final outcome. Aiming at nothing never translates into effective parenting or effective problem-solving, even if you hit every time. Creating a strategy for overcoming parental challenges falls flat if you don’t spell out your desired future. So, define where this process should lead when all is said and done.
  • Make tough choices. Learning how to overcome parenting challenges requires leaning into messiness. That could involve engaging conflict when you’d rather avoid it or enforcing discipline at the risk of being “the bad guy.” It also could include getting help from a counselor. Overcoming the challenges of parenthood means personal growth, but personal growth usually means doing hard things.
  • Pray about it. I know it sounds simple—and maybe simplistic—to say, “Don’t forget prayer.” But the truth is, prayer works. It’s not a magic formula, of course. Your challenges won’t just evaporate when you bow your head and bend your knee. But prayer is your direct line to the God of the universe, and He wants to carry your burdens (1 Peter 5:6-7). 

In 2 Kings 19, King Hezekiah was surrounded by a vicious army. One enemy leader even sent him a letter challenging Hezekiah’s faith in God. Instead of fighting back, Hezekiah spread the letter before the Lord in the temple. You can do that with your parenting challenges too. Lay them out before God, and ask Him to intervene as only He can.

 

Stop Your Parenting Challenges Before They Start

As you think about how to overcome parenting challenges, you should also consider how to pre-empt challenges in the future. After all, it’s always better to nip problems in the bud before they grow wild.

For that, try three simple things. First, listen more and talk less. Communication is a two-way street, so give your children the freedom to share their hearts. Second, be present. Love could be spelled T-I-M-E. If you invest time with your kids, you’ll see the dividends. Finally, be vulnerable. Admit that you don’t have it all together—and say you’re sorry when necessary.

Those three action steps won’t solve every parenting challenge, but they will stop many of them in their tracks.

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