In a world where intensity often gets pushed into overdrive, we’d all be better if we were slow to anger. And one area where stepping back would be most helpful is in the area of anger.

Unfortunately, while anger is a natural part of the human existence, learning to be slow to anger is not. Most of the time, trying to keep our cool is more than we can handle on our own. We need help that goes beyond what we have to offer.

Thankfully, we serve a God who is slow to anger—and He can teach us how to be slow to anger as well.

Find peace and patience with our YouVersion Bible App reading plan on anger.

Follow the Leader

In some ways, anger is like a brick. It can be helpful or destructive depending on how it’s used. Bricks can be used to build churches, schools, and hospitals. But they can also be thrown through windows. Likewise, anger can spur action against injustice, but it also can tear relationships apart at the seams.

That’s why we need to see anger from God’s perspective. And a quick look at His Word confirms that the Lord knows how to be slow to anger (Psalm 103:8; Proverbs 15:8). And, as His people, He challenges us to be slow to anger (James 1:19). So, as men who claim Christ, learning how to be slow to anger is incredibly important because it allows us to reflect His character to the world.

And that’s something the world really needs.

How to be slow to anger

Discovering how to be slow to anger is a process. You can’t just flick a switch and watch the light go on—and see the temperature fall. But there are practical steps you can take. 

The list below includes four things you can do as you learn to be slow to anger. You won’t master these overnight, but you can plant them deep in your heart so they will grow over time. Eventually, with God’s help, being slow to anger will become a normal rhythm of your life each day.

Spend time in the Word

God’s Word has a lot to say about anger issues, and it’s all great information from God’s perspective. You can’t respond to anger like God until you know what He says about the subject. Digging into biblical verses about anger is the best way to start.

Know the signs

Anger strikes when certain triggers in our lives are set off. It might be an expectation we believe isn’t being met or a perceived injustice we’ve experienced. Whatever the case, the triggers are pulled and anger explodes. But if you know the triggers ahead of time, you can sense when they are in danger. Sometimes, you can avoid them altogether.

Take a breath

Anger tends to speed things up in our hearts and in our minds. The adrenaline flows, and we’re tempted to respond quickly. But being slow to anger means reacting in the opposite way. We take a breather, slow down, and process. We listen instead of lashing out. In short, we demonstrate patience like God does.

Be accountable

Anger is a dragon you cannot slay alone. First and foremost, you need God’s help—which is why studying Scripture is high on this list. But you can also make yourself accountable to other people in your life who will walk with you. This should include your spouse if you’re married. It could also involve close male friends and your pastor or minister. In many cases, you also can turn to professional counselors and therapists to provide support and coping mechanisms for dealing with anger issues. You’re not in this alone, so don’t fight like you are.

Remove Anger, Find Peace

You may not know this, but folk singer Bob Dylan once went through what some call his “Christian music phase.” In the late 1970s and early 1980s, he released a trilogy of albums that reflected biblical themes about life and faith. In one of his songs from that era, Dylan noted that we all have to serve somebody. We make the choice about whether it’s the devil or the Lord, but none of us can escape serving somebody.

That’s an important thing to remember as we think about anger. We serve God—who we allow to control our lives—will determine if we can be slow to anger or not. When the apostle Paul listed the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), anger is nowhere to be found. In contrast, the fruit of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) oozes with anger-related words and attitudes.

In other words, being slow to anger means being controlled by the Spirit. Allowing God’s Spirit to lead you and guide you is the only way you’ll ever learn to be slow to anger. 

Be the dad God called you to be. Take the Godly Father Assessment to see how you’re doing and where you can improve.