If you’re the kind of guy who’s easily frustrated, you’re not alone. Thanks to our sin nature, frustration finds little resistance as it works its way to the surface of our lives. What’s more, frustration often serves as a common trigger for anger because both are rooted in unmet expectations and anxiety.
So, on one hand, frustration is a normal part of being human in a broken world. On the other hand, it’s not healthy for you or for those around you—including your wife and kids. That means you need to learn how to deal with frustration before it gets the better of you.
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Find the Source of Your Frustration
If you’re easily frustrated, your first step needs to move you toward understanding the root of that frustration. In general, frustration can be traced to negative feelings like fear and anxiety. It also can be the result of interpersonal conflict and stressful situations.
But another important distinction to consider as you learn to deal with frustration is internal sources and external sources. As you might expect, internal frustrations start inside us and work their way to the surface. Meanwhile, external frustrations are created by people and events outside our lives.
In many cases, the causes of external frustrations are “them problems,” not “me problems.” We can’t force people to act in a way that meets our expectations. All we can do is be honest with them, set proper boundaries as needed, and learn to let go of the myth that we can change things that are outside our control. In contrast, with internal frustrations, we basically are the problem. As a result, we can take healthy steps toward overcoming our frustrations.
7 Simple steps to dealing with Frustration
As noted, being easily frustrated is not unusual. Ever since the fall, the human race has been plagued by self-centeredness. Even the best of us tend to filter everything in life through the impact it has on us. When we begin to follow Christ, we can die to that selfishness to an extent, but it’s still there. And with it comes a host of unmet expectations that produce frustration—and, if left unresolved, anger issues.
Thankfully, frustration doesn’t have to dominate our lives. We can create some healthy strategies that allow us to deal with frustration in a way that nurtures maturity and glorifies our heavenly Father. We’ve identified seven great tools that will help you navigate your frustrations and bring some peace of mind to your daily life.
1. Evaluate Your Expectations
Since frustration is so closely tied to anger, it makes sense that both of them can be triggered by unmet expectations. But, as we said, you can only control so much in life, so it doesn’t make sense to get twisted up by things you can’t really change. Instead, take a step back emotionally and see what you can hold in your hands. Adjust what needs to be adjusted and start there.
2. Find a way to serve others
Since being easily frustrated often can be traced to self-centered attitudes, look for ways to take the attention off you for a while. Putting the needs of others above your own can broaden your perspective and help you process your own feelings. Besides, Jesus said that He came to earth to be a servant (Mark 10:45), and we can never go wrong when we follow His example.
3. Count your blessings
This is another great way to get your mind off yourself, which makes it a great way to deal with frustration. The fact of the matter is, you’ve been given a lot. Whether you stop to realize it or not, God has been good to you. Take some time counting your blessings—and thanking Him for what He has done for you. And set up some “gratitude milestones” that you can reflect on—memorable events where God has proven Himself faithful. I guarantee you will walk away with a different perspective on life—and a better attitude toward whatever has been frustrating you.
4. Take a break
Through the psalmist, God wisely advised His people to “stop fighting and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). The original Hebrew carries the idea of relaxing or letting go. The Lord understands that life is hard, and He understands that sometimes we just need to step away from the battle. You can do this by exercising or by doing nothing at all for a while. Honestly, a decent nap would do a lot of us some good as a way to deal with frustration. Get some rest by resting in Him.
5. Pick up a hobby
Distractions can be a great way to deal with our frustrations. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about living in denial or procrastinating to avoid a situation. I’m talking about letting your brain and your hands work on something different for a while so that you can come at it with a different point of view. Staring at the same thing for too long makes everything fuzzy. If you’re easily frustrated, give yourself the freedom to focus on something new for a little bit and see if it gives you a new set of eyes.
6. Talk with someone
Many times, dealing with frustration means getting something off your chest. Words have power, and being able to talk out a problem can be a healthy response to a frustrating situation. This could be your spouse or a close friend. In some cases, you might do well to turn to a pastor or a professional counselor. The key is to make sure you’re not keeping things bottled up, and you’re connecting with someone who can help you develop a game plan for healing.
7. Connect with God
Of course, the best connection point you could ever find is the One who knows you better than anyone else and loves you more than you can ever imagine. As a Christ follower, you’re God’s kid, and He cares about what you’re going through. Reach out to Him through prayer and Bible study so you can get His take on your frustrations. Write things out in a journal to help you process your thoughts and feelings. He will help you if you will come to Him.
The Secret to Peace
The apostle Paul experienced a lot during his ministry. Sometimes, he was on a mountain, seeing God do incredible things as he shared the gospel and established churches. Other times, he was in a valley, suffering persecution and rejection because of his faith.
Paul could have been easily frustrated by that rollercoaster life. But he was able to focus on his mission until the end because of one thing: contentment. In his letter to the Philippians (which he wrote while under house arrest in Rome), he told his readers that the power of contentment allowed him to keep moving forward in every situation (Philippians 4:10-14). Whether he was being praised or persecuted, enjoyed a lot or scrounged for a little, contentment kept his frustration at bay and his ministry rolling.
The seven actions in our list can help you develop a spirit of contentment in your life, a spirit that expects God to come through for you rather than expecting others to meet your needs. If you can nurture that kind of dependence on your heavenly Father, you will find joy (like Paul did) instead of being easily frustrated at every turn.
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