Sometimes, you can feel anger rising from your toes like a wave on the ocean. You know it’s an ugly part of your life, but you wrestle with what causes anger. You want to manage it, but you can’t just flip a switch or push a button to make it go away.

If this sounds like your life, you’re not alone. There’s a reason the early church included wrath (or anger) as one of the seven deadly sins. And it’s why the Bible—especially the wisdom book of Proverbs—has so many warnings against it.

Since it’s a part of human makeup, it makes sense to dig deeper into what causes anger in our lives—and what we can do about it with God’s help.

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“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:1

Is Anger OK?

While we often think of anger as a negative emotion, it’s not always a bad thing. In fact, the apostle Paul said we could be angry as long as it doesn’t lead us to sin (Ephesians 4:26). 

Many times, what causes anger involves the sin and injustice we see around us. Therefore, anger represents an appropriate response. So how do we know if we’re OK or if we’ve crossed a line? Well, the root cause of anger, along with the degree of anger we express, helps distinguish between sinful anger and what’s often called righteous anger. 

For example, Jesus got angry in the temple and drove out all the people selling animals and exchanging money (Mark 11:15-18; John 2:14-16). But, since Jesus lived a perfect and holy life, we know His anger was not sinful. That’s because of what caused His anger. The business taking place in the temple created two problems. First, it showed blatant disrespect for both the temple and the God of the temple. Jesus would not stand for that. Second, it distracted people from being able to worship, especially non-Jews who were confined to the outer courts where this haggling was taking place.

So, we can see how these causes of anger would have moved Jesus to do what He did. And it reminds us that what causes anger in our lives may not always lead to sin. 

Examine Your Roots

You may have noticed signs of anger issues and the fact that they may be connected to a deeper problem. So, the key to understanding what causes anger in our lives is getting to the root of the problem. When we identify the root causes of our anger, we can find healing and help.

Ultimately, anger is the result of an unmet expectation. Whether it’s valid or imaginary, we believe we somehow ended up with the short straw in some area of life. That leads to frustration. We feel like we’re being unfairly attacked or disrespected. Then, we express ourselves through anger.

So, as we look for what causes our anger, we have to figure out why we feel cheated and why we respond the way we do. Here are four common answers for what causes anger in our lives.

Unresolved family issues

Whether we like to admit it or not, we are the products of our upbringing. Of course, the transforming work of Jesus in our lives can make a world of difference. After all, He has promised to make us a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). But as long as we’re on this side of heaven, we’ll still reflect on how we were raised to some degree.

For many folks, anger was a part of growing up. So, you simply mirror what you’ve always known. In other cases, people suffered physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. Some were neglected and ignored. All of this trauma plants a seed that grows into anger. If you identify this as a cause of your anger, you probably need to talk to a professional counselor to help you unwind these knots in your life

Blaming yourself

This is where you cannot forgive yourself for something that’s happened in your past. This could mean you’re wrongly blaming yourself for another’s actions toward you. But your blame also might be traced to something you did that hurt someone else. Neither approach is healthy, and both can cause anger in your life.

If you’re in the first group, you need to set some boundaries by refusing to accept that blame anymore. If you’re in the second camp, your first step toward healing would be to seek forgiveness—from God and from the person you hurt. Then, you need to embrace His grace so you can forgive yourself.

Grief

Grief can take a lot of forms. Most commonly, we think about the death of a loved one. But it can also result from the erosion of a marriage, the loss of a friendship, or even a move to a new job or home. The kind of grief and the degree to which we feel it may differ, but anger will play a role in the process. 

According to experts, denial is the first of the five stages of grief, but anger comes next. As you might expect, this root cause of anger isn’t necessarily sinful. It’s just a season you need to navigate on your way to healing. However, it’s easy to get stuck in the anger, instead of recognizing what causes the anger. As a result, you can’t work through your grief in a healthy way. It becomes a vicious cycle.

Stress

We live in a stressful culture; and, to be honest, an appropriate amount of stress actually can be beneficial. But if we let stress overwhelm our lives, it becomes dangerous. It also may be added to the list of what causes anger in our lives. 

In terms of the root causes of anger, this one might be the simplest to resolve. Some great ways to deal with stress are rest, exercise, and time management. Getting enough rest is vital because fatigue only intensifies stress. Exercise allows your body to process the stress. And time management can equip you to eliminate stress before it ever takes root. Of course, all of these work in conjunction with spiritual disciplines like Bible study, prayer, and Christian fellowship.

Evaluate your mental health

We’d be remiss if we didn’t point out that some of the root causes of anger are associated with our mental health. Conditions like bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression are all causes of anger. This doesn’t mean all your anger issues are mental health problems, but it’s a reminder that you don’t want to ignore the potential of these issues.

Regardless of the cause, unhealthy anger hurts us and those around us. It can create barriers in our relationship with God, and it can build walls between us and the people closest to us. In short, we need to discover what causes our anger and deal with it. That’s the only way to become the people God created us to be.

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