If all sin kills, anger is one of the most deadly.  Let’s look at the deadly sin of anger. In this post, we’ll examine what the sin is, how it plays out in your life as a dad and how to eliminate it from your life using some realistic strategies, Scripture and prayer.



We wrote a full book called 7 Deadly Sins of a Disengaged Dad eBook because there’s a lot to cover about each sin. For now, let’s talk about anger.


What is anger?

Many of the dads we’ve heard from struggle with anger. This really ticks us off! In Genesis 4:6, God asks Cain, “Why are you furious?”. We must find the trigger for our anger. If God wants to find it, we should as well.


Have you seen a person so filled with rage they become a different person? I studied under Chuck Colson and then served as a writer and researcher on criminal justice at Prison Fellowship. One fascinating idea: the ‘crime of passion’ defense. Perhaps you’ve heard of lawyers arguing there was no malice aforethought, and instead the crime was committed in the “heat of passion.”


Depending on the judge and jurisdiction, a successful ‘crime of passion’ defense often successfully results in a conviction on a lesser charge. A classic example: the spouse who, upon finding his or her partner in bed with another, kills the adulterer. Now, murder is murder and simply because it’s done in passion doesn’t make it right. It’s still a crime committed. But, the fact that anger could well up in such a way that you act crazily is cause for concern. When we’re angry, we’re playing with fire. 


How does anger show up in a dad’s life?

The disengaged dad says: “I have a right to be angry and blow off steam.”

Many dads we work with say they want to train their kids to know God. Guys want to be better examples of discipline and training in their homes. Eliminating the sin of anger may be the first stop to true discipleship.


The disengaged dad is an angry dad. He wants what he wants—when he wants it. This me-first-attitude causes us to be angry at everything—from how long we wait at stoplights, to whether our favorite meals are served at dinner, to railing about the government, taxes and our preachers.


Dads, here’s the challenge: be angry about only the things God’s angry about. Child abuse. Errant teaching. Lying. Gossip among believers. That stuff’s bad. But, biblical fatherhood isn’t quite as concerned with long lines at Starbucks, your kids’ bad grades, or that coach who didn’t give your prize child enough playing time…sorry, that ain’t cause for anger.

The disengaged dad says: “I have a right to be angry and blow off steam.”


How can a dad eliminate the sin of anger?

Here’s how you can eliminate the sin of anger:

1. Look inward. Find the triggers and situations that anger you. If you’re looking for it, you can often sense stress coming. If you’ve been a little more snappy than normal, that’s a good indicator. It’s probably time to slow down and consider why you’re flustered.

2) Look Godward. Who wants to look to God when you’re angry? I know, this can sound uber-Christian. But, we must shift focus to God instead of us. If we keep focus on ourselves, we lose.  


The Bible says you can remove anger and replace it with forgiveness, self- control and kindness.

As we put off the sin of anger, let’s put on forgiveness, self-control and kindness.


Scripture for eliminating anger

  • A hot-tempered man stirs up conflict, but a man slow to anger calms strife. —Proverbs 15:18
  • A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check. —Proverbs 29:11
  • All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. —Ephesians 4:31-32

Prayer for eliminating anger

God, will you help me see where I’m stressed out and angry and get ahead of it? Help me see and love what you want. Teach me to die to myself daily. So that I only care about what You care about. Amen. 



All sin kills something. So, recognize the deadly sin of anger. Fight anger in your heart. Fight anger in your home. Be the example that maybe you didn’t have growing up. For the sin of anger, we’ve covered what the sin is, what it looks like and how to eliminate it from your life. 




We dig deeper into the 7 Deadly Sins of a Disengaged Dad in the full eBook. 


For each sin, in the full eBook, we help you:

1. Define the sin.

2. Recognize how the sin plays out in your life as a dad.
3. Give strategies for eliminating the sin.
4. Remember Scriptures to combat the sin. 
5. Learn a prayer you can memorize if you struggle with the sin.
6. Ask self-reflection questions as you consider these sins in your life.
7. Use an engaging infographic as a reference for fighting these sins. 


The deadly sin of anger is there for the taking. But, so is God’s grace. You can be a godly father who leads without regrets.


Question > 

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “I’m so angry I can’t see straight.” and 10 being, “I’m as calm as still water.” Where are you on the ‘sin-o-meter’? If you need to talk,  email me or tweet @ManhoodJourney. 


This post is part of an ongoing series based on the new eBook 7 Deadly Sins of a Disengaged Dad.

Post 1 > 7 sins of a disengaged dad
Post 2 > The deadly sin of pride and how to eliminate it from your life



RyanHeadshot150.pngRyan Sanders is the Director of Outreach at Manhood Journey. Ryan is married to Tonia and they have three children. He lives in Reston, Virginia and serves at McLean Bible Church in Washington, D.C. as a regional leader. Learn more about Ryan here and find him on Twitter @RyanSanders.