“Rejoice as you share Christ’s sufferings…” (1 Peter 4:13). If you’re reading this newsletter, in all likelihood, you’ll never be martyred for your faith. Your (and my) sufferings for the sake of Christ may take on much more benign forms (ergo, I use the term “suffering” loosely). We can get disoriented and bitter when we fail to realize the form some of those sufferings might take. We may be gossiped about, lied to, ignored, or misjudged. I think one way Jesus suffered was by being misunderstood. Clearly, not the most physically painful of His many trials. Yet, there were many moments (most of them?) when He desperately tried to get people to grasp His teaching or meaning, only to watch them miss the mark. The next time you’re misjudged or misunderstood (by your kids, wife, colleagues, and so on), consider yourself fortunate. Just one more small way you’re sharing in Christ’s sufferings.

When my wife and I had only been married for around five years, I was running a small consulting firm. One of my big clients was Brian. Now, during this season of life, I was notorious for not tackling home projects. Stuff would sit on my “honey-do” list for months for various reasons. I was lazy, forgetful, unsure how to do some of the tasks‚ and so I procrastinated.

The bottom line: I didn’t get stuff done. Eventually, my wife called me on the carpet. The piercing dagger penetrated when she said, “You know what? If Brian had asked you to do something, it would’ve been done. Why are his requests more important than mine?” Ouch. Maybe you’re like me. Do you listen more at work than you listen at home? Here are three steps to take when you’ve messed up with your wife.

1. “When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to seek God who sees our hearts. Therefore, a man ought to root himself so firmly in God that he will not need the consolations of men.” – Thomas à Kempis

2. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

3. “God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering.” – Saint Augustine

Consider how you suffer. You might bristle at the word “suffering” in our first-world context. I’m right there with you. We don’t suffer when our latte temp is off by a few degrees. However, I think it’s healthy to look across the many ways Christ suffered and see if you can relate. He was abandoned, mistreated, rejected, mocked, betrayed, and ridiculed. Have you ever shared in those kinds of sufferings? If so: congrats!

Make it a great week,

Kent Evans
Author of The Manhood Journey, co-founder of Manhood Journey and Father On Purpose.

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.