As a dad, do you often bark orders like, “YOU HAVE TO do your chores” or “YOU BETTER do your homework right now”? While sometimes necessary, constantly making demands can create a divide between you and your kid. It’s important to shift from the HAVE TO mentality to a more empowering approach. Here’s what the parenting shift should look like.  #1 The boundaries are clear. I have set before you today life and good, death and evil (Deut. 30:15). God gave Israel two paths: life and good OR death and evil. Simple, right? We are called to teach our kids the rules of life, pointing them to goodness and away from bad choices. #2 Obeying is life. If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today…then you shall live… (Deut 30:16). Obey God and you live. Your kid should know the importance of following God in any situation/choice/circumstance. #3 Disobeying is death. But if your heart turns away…you shall surely perish (Deut 30:17-18). In Moses’ day, God was saying that if you worshiped other gods, destruction was coming. Two choices: Obey God and live OR disobey God and die. Your kid should know the gravity of disobeying God.

12 BIBLE VERSES ABOUT ANGER: The Bible serves as the instruction manual for the Christian life. In the pages of Scripture, God has given us everything we need to live out His character and His purposes in the world. That includes how we deal with anger. His Word is filled with verses about anger—verses you can memorize and meditate on as you seek His help in overcoming the anger issues in your life as a Christ follower, a husband, and a dad.

DUMP THE “HAVE TO” APPROACH WITH YOUR KIDS: As guys, nothing raises the hair on the back of our necks quite like being told we “have to” do something. It’s just human nature. No one likes to be told what to do—and that includes our kids. Trouble is, it’s hard for dads to make the move from a “have to” mentality to a “letting go” mentality with their kids. It’s tough to shift from telling them what to avoid to teaching them how to make wise choices on their own. If you can master that transition from power to influence, though, it’s a game changer—for you and your child.

Parenting shift. This week, rather than demanding, “You HAVE TO do your homework,” try talking through the good/bad side of choices. Ask your kid: How might doing your homework now make for a better evening? What would not finishing your homework do for you at school tomorrow? You get the idea. The parenting shift is about moving FROM a position of POWER where you constantly bark orders TO a position of INFLUENCE—where you/your kid have conversations and your kid grows in maturity and responsibility over time. Moses begged his people to obey God and choose life. Your kid, like the people of Israel, will make mistakes. But thankfully, God is gracious, gentle, and kind. Keep pointing your kid to God. That’s your job.