Webster’s Dictionary defines a legacy as “something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.” Academically, that definition works fine, but most dads understand that building a legacy means a lot more than simply transmitting an object from one generation to the next. In fact, the most valuable legacies are intangible, things like integrity or loyalty or a good name.
The most important legacy we can ever pass down to our kids has nothing to do with possessions or portfolios. It has everything to do with faith and how to pass your faith on to your teenager.
Key Takeaways
- Faith Cannot Be Transferred, Only Modeled: You cannot pass on what you do not personally own, which means a dad’s own walk with God is the foundation everything else is built on.
- Teenagers Have a Hypocrisy Detector: If your walk does not match your talk, your teenager will notice long before you do, and no program or devotional will close that gap.
- Legacy Is Relational, Not Transactional: Unlike a family heirloom, a faith legacy cannot be handed over in a moment. It is built in years of shared time, honest conversation, and consistent example.
- Teachable Moments Are Already There: Deuteronomy 6 does not describe a formal curriculum. It describes a dad who talks about God in the car, at dinner, and in the ordinary moments of everyday life.
- Prayer Is Not the Last Resort: Building a spiritual legacy is a supernatural work, and a dad who relies on his own effort will fail.
Gaining the World
During His time on earth, Jesus talked a lot about what it means to be His disciple. In a nutshell, He taught that genuine discipleship involves nurturing a “future focus.” True disciples keep their eyes on heaven even as they live on earth because what we experience on earth pales in comparison to what awaits us in eternity.
To that point, He asked His followers a question: “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36). Put another way, Jesus was saying that all the riches in the world mean nothing if your spiritual life is disconnected from Him.
The soul is the currency of heaven; and, as Christian dads, our first responsibility is to build a spiritual legacy that will lead our kids toward eternity with God.
Passing Your Faith on from Generation to Generation
For most dads, building a spiritual legacy sounds like a great idea. But the application quickly becomes a sticking point. For one thing, kids naturally drift from parental priorities as they become teenagers. Even Christian teens go through seasons when they push back against what they’ve been taught. It’s a natural part of them learning to own their faith personally, but it can be scary for dads building a spiritual legacy.
Another problem is that many dads just don’t know how to start raising faith-filled teenagers. Physical legacies are much easier. You can hand a family heirloom to your child before you die, or you can include it in your will. The transaction happens in a moment. But faith legacies take time because they are relational, not transactional. They are built over years, and the sooner you start, the better.
Below, I’ve listed five ways you can begin passing your faith to your kids today. Again, remember that this is going to take time. You can’t flip a switch or press a magic button to make a legacy appear. It’s a long-term investment that literally will take the rest of your life to complete. The ancient Greeks often are credited with the idea that a society thrives when older men keep planting trees even though they’ll never enjoy the shade. For fathers, taking steps to pass on faith now will create a legacy that outlives and outshines anything we accomplish on earth.
1. Start with Your Own Faith
Here’s a basic truth: You can’t pass on what you don’t own. So, if you want to have faith conversations with teenagers, you need to make sure you have your own personal relationship with Jesus so that you can share it with your kids. It’s easy to go through the motions and think you’re on good terms with God. But good deeds won’t cut it. Jesus said that He alone is the way to the Father (John 14:6).
Salvation is a gift of God for those who believe that Jesus died to pay the penalty for their sins and who are willing to follow Him with all their hearts. If you haven’t settled that issue in your life, today is the day. Talk with a believer you trust about embracing Jesus as Savior and Lord.
2. Live Out What You Say You Believe
The Bible is pretty clear that believers are called to walk in a manner worthy of Jesus every day. The apostle Paul challenged his readers in Ephesus (Ephesians 4:1; 5:8), Philippi (Philippians 1:27), Colossae (Colossians 1:10), and Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 2:12; 4:1) to live with integrity as Christ followers.
But when it comes to building a lasting, spiritual legacy with your teens, you really have to match your words and actions. Teenagers have a sensitive “hypocrisy detector.” If your walk doesn’t match your talk, you’ll never get anywhere with them. In contrast, if they see you living out your faith in meaningful ways, they will be more likely to accept your words and, ultimately, follow your footsteps.
3. Talk About Faith with Your Teens
This is where legacy building can get tricky. As guys, we appreciate doing because we’ve been taught that “actions speak louder than words.” While there is some truth in that, we can’t forget that words matter as well. Even teenagers who are testing their boundaries want to connect at a heart level, and that only happens through shared time and shared conversations.
As a dad, you can have faith conversations with teenagers in two ways. First, you can be intentional about setting aside time for faith talks. This could be as simple as discussing a sermon or Sunday school lesson on the way home from church. It can be a part of your dinner routine each night. Many dads also lead family devotions as a way to encourage spiritual conversations. Whatever path you choose, make it interactive and let it be a safe space for thoughts and hard questions.
Second, you can take advantage of “teachable moments.” These are the impromptu times when a teenager drops his or her defenses in the everyday routine of life. In ancient Israel, fathers were challenged to talk about God with their kids whenever the opportunity arose: early in the morning, at bedtime, walking along the way, or sitting around the house (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).
Look for chances to ask questions and listen to answers. Give your teen the freedom to ask questions of their own and don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t have all the answers. As you start looking for teachable moments, you’ll find they appear more than you might expect.
4. Take Your Family to Church
Common sense (and contemporary research) suggests that dads who take their families to church have a greater spiritual impact than dads who send their families to church. But here’s the thing: While attendance is great, it’s really not enough. If raising faith-filled teenagers is important to you, you’ve got to invest in the ministry of your local congregation. You’ve got to find ways to serve.
Earlier, we mentioned the importance of words. Well, service provides a context for the action part of legacy building. Your kids get to see you living out your faith. Plus, serving together opens doors for more teachable moments! So, it’s a win-win.
In addition, plugging into the life of a local church gives you opportunities to connect with other men. Some of these guys have been where you are and can become powerful mentors for you. Others are walking with you through this stage of life and can become your support system. Either way, you’ll find iron that will sharpen your iron (Proverbs 27:17) and that will help you build a spiritual legacy for your kids.
5. Pray About Your Legacy
I once heard a preacher say that nothing of eternal consequence happens apart from prayer. If you want to build a powerful faith legacy that you can pass to your teen, you’ve got to be a praying father. Prayer is an important tool because you really can’t do this on your own. Building a spiritual legacy is a supernatural work, and it requires a supernatural Source. Maintaining your connection with God through prayer makes all the difference.
At the same time, prayer gives you wisdom for applying the other principles we’ve listed. God doesn’t expect you to know it all, but He does expect you to ask Him for help. James 1:5 reminds us that when we lack wisdom (and we often do), we can “ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God will provide what we need if we seek Him in prayer.
Act Naturally
I’ve been told that it takes 40 days to establish a habit. And I’ve heard that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at any given task. I don’t know how accurate those numbers are, but I am sure about one thing: getting better at something takes time and intentional effort.
Yes, building a faith legacy that you can pass to your kids is a spiritual endeavor. But it’s also practical. You’ve got to make faithful living and spiritual conversations a regular rhythm in your life each day. That’s not always easy, but it’s worth the effort. After all, the more you make faith a natural part of your life, the more your kids will see it as genuine, not something forced or staged.
And here’s one final truth to remember. Ultimately, your teenager belongs to God. One biblical writer encouraged parents to “[t]rain up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it,” (Proverbs 22:6). You have a responsibility to set the example and to build the legacy. God does the work that brings them closer to Him.
Do all you can to hold up your end of the partnership, then ask God to do all He desires to transform your kids into disciples who will be His hands and feet in the world.
