“Be wise. Be strong. Be pure.”
Six simple words that our former pastor spoke over every baby being dedicated and every high school senior commissioned during his tenure. He also wrote it in every children’s Bible our church gave to first graders each year. It’s a biblical blessing for children that still resonates in our congregation today.
As a dad who had these words spoken over his kids multiple times, I appreciated our pastor’s willingness to speak this biblical blessing. When it comes to understanding how to bless your child, his is an example to follow.
Key Takeaways
- A Fatherly Blessing Is Not a Prayer: You are speaking God’s words directly to your child, not on their behalf.
- Blessings Are Never Earned: A biblical blessing is rooted in who God says your child is, not what they have done.
- Scripture Gives You the Words: From Numbers 6 to the Psalms, the Bible gives a dad language he can speak directly over his child.
- Physical Touch Matters: Placing your hands on your child’s head or shoulders adds something to the moment that words alone can’t.
- Blessings Do Not Stop When They Leave Home: A fatherly blessing looks different for adult children, but it is just as important.
What a Fatherly Blessing Is NOT
Before going too deeply into the nuts and bolts of how to bless your child, we need to define our term. “Blessing” can mean so many things to so many different people, so we have to be clear about what we mean in this context.
First, let’s consider what a biblical blessing for children is not:
A Fatherly Blessing Is Not a Mealtime Prayer
At meals, we thank God for His provision and ask Him to bless the food we eat. This has nothing to do with father-child connections, even though we call it the “blessing.”
A Fatherly Blessing Is Not Based on Kids’ Accomplishments
We all want our kids to succeed and to behave well. But biblical blessings for our children are never earned. We bless them freely because they are created in God’s image and are called to fulfill God’s purposes in the world.
A Fatherly Blessing Is Not Just a String of Compliments
Our kids need to hear us call out nice things about them. We need to affirm them. But a biblical blessing speaks to character more than cosmetics and to the future more than to the past or present.
A Fatherly Blessing Is Not a Divine Guarantee or a Prophecy
When we bless our kids, we are not saying things “will” be this way. While we can speak truth, we cannot speak reality into existence. Blessings are not promises written in stone.
What a Fatherly Blessing Is
On the other side of the coin, here are some principles that help us recognize what a blessing is meant to convey:
A Father’s Blessing Speaks the Words of God
A father’s blessing should express the words our heavenly Father would share if He were present physically. It could be compared to the priests blessing Israel with God’s word for them in Numbers 6.
A Father’s Blessing Addresses the Individual
This is what distinguishes a blessing from a prayer. In prayer, we speak to God, often on behalf of others. In a fatherly blessing, we speak to an individual, sharing the truths of God and His Word.
A Father’s Blessing Is Grounded in Scripture
In Genesis 12, God spoke a blessing on Abram (later Abraham). In Genesis 27, Abraham’s son, Isaac, followed this example by blessing his son, Jacob. Then, Jacob blessed his grandsons in Genesis 48 and his sons in Genesis 49. Even in the New Testament, we see Jesus blessing children (Mark 10:13-16), and most of Paul’s letters begin with a blessing on his readers. Fatherly blessings are part of biblical tradition that we should carry on today.
How to Bless Your Child
While we can find ample support for fatherly blessings in the Bible, it’s not a common practice today. Busy schedules and a lack of examples make it difficult for dads to establish this as an ongoing tradition in their homes. In many cases, fathers just don’t know what to do.
Biblical blessings are an integral part of discipleship in the home. Here are a few basic elements that can make a fatherly blessing meaningful to you and your child:
- Include physical touch. Place your hands on your child’s head or shoulders. Physical touch adds power to the moment.
- Share affirming words. Again, this is not a prayer, but an opportunity to share God’s words with your children. Let your kids know what God thinks of them and why that’s important. You can adapt verses from Psalms or passages like Numbers 6:24-26 to communicate God’s truth.
- Express hope for the future. Blessings carry a future focus. As you share God’s opinion of them, encourage your children to let His faithfulness and His presence define their steps for the rest of their lives.
- Promise your support. Assure your children that this blessing is not a one-time event. Let them know that you will walk with them and continue to support them as they seek to discover and obey God’s purposes for their lives.
- Involve a community. I’ve had the privilege of being involved in many ordination services. In each case, the time when individuals speak over the one being ordained is powerful. Consider inviting a few significant members of your faith community to affirm your fatherly blessing and to invest in the lives of your children.
- Close in prayer. While blessings and prayers are unique, prayer should be a vital part of your biblical blessing. As you close, ask God to work in the life of your child and to instill His truths into his or her life. Ask for His blessing on your blessing.
Examples of Blessings
Fatherly blessings can (and should) be conveyed throughout a child’s life. Below are some simple blessings that you can build on as you share God’s truth with your child across the years
- Infant: You are precious to me and to the God who created you. May His peace rest on you and may His protection be your shield today and every day.
- Child: God’s Word is a light to your feet. May He guide your steps and give you wisdom. Learn from your mistakes and grow in your faith as you trust Him more.
- Teen: Your heavenly Father created you with purpose and has an amazing plan for your life. Let His Word define who you are and what you do. Allow His love and His voice to drown out the negative messages you hear. He is crazy about you. Walk in that truth.
- Young adult: Embrace your faith as you step toward the future. Above all else, guard your heart and mind. Allow the God who made you and loves you more than you can imagine be your true Source for every need. Become the man/woman He has created you to become.
The temptation might be to stop blessing your children once they leave your nest, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Fatherly blessings look different for adult kids, but they are just as powerful. Even if your child is not present to hear your words, speak them just the same.
Continue praying for them and encourage them to pass the blessings on to their sons and daughters.
Related Questions
Who was blessed in the Bible?
In the Bible, the act of speaking a blessing can be traced to the Garden of Eden. God blessed Adam and Eve, even as He challenged them to be stewards of His creation. God later blessed Abram, who would become Abraham (Genesis 12:1-3). He added that all the world would be blessed through Abraham’s offspring, a reference to Jesus. From there, blessings often were passed on by fathers to children and by priests to the nation.
Did Jesus bless anyone?
The most common example of Jesus blessing anyone is when He blessed the children in Mark 10. The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12) also suggest a blessing from Christ, and He blessed His disciples following His resurrection (Luke 24:50-52; John 20:21-23).
What is the difference between a blessing and a curse in the Bible?
In simple terms, a blessing focuses on God’s favor and benefits for an individual, while a curse calls down God’s judgment on someone. As Christians, we should be intentional about sharing a blessing on other believers, but we must be careful about cursing others because our own sin can distort our motives.
Does my child need to hear me speak the blessing?
Yes, your children need to hear a blessing from your own lips. For one thing, children feed on what they hear from their parents. Just as you should avoid negative words that tear your kids down, you should affirm them with blessings regularly. At the same time, remember that the world is filling your child’s mind with negative messages. Your audible blessing can’t protect them from hearing those messages, but it can protect them from letting those messages take root in their lives.
