Down deep, every guy has one goal in life: To know he is a man. So much of what we do and say as men can be traced back to that simple truth. Ideally, we’ll get that affirmation from our fathers and from other men we respect. If not, we’ll do almost anything to find someone who will let us know that we have value as males.
But as Christ followers, we face another challenge. We need to know how to be a Christian man. Just as we long for affirmation from our earthly fathers, we long to hear “Well done” from our heavenly Father.
If you’re a man of faith, learning how to be a Christian man is one of the most vital journeys you can take in life.
Take the First Step Towards Christian Manhood
In some ways, the first step toward becoming a Christian man is simple: You have to make sure you’re a Christian. You can’t really claim to be a Christian man—or learn how to be a Christian man—without a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
If you’ve got questions about this, now is the time to settle the matter once and for all. In a nutshell, we’ve all sinned against God. We’ve all rebelled against His ways. As a result, we all need a Savior. Jesus is that Savior. When He died on the cross, He took our place. He paid the penalty for our guilt.
If we allow His sacrifice to pay that price, we can have a new relationship with God. The apostle Paul called it becoming a “new creation” in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). We leave our old life of sin and rebellion behind and begin a new journey of life with Jesus. It’s the first—and most important step—in discovering how to be a Christian man.
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:35
Embrace the Steps
I used to wonder why God didn’t just take us to heaven once we accepted Jesus as Savior. After all, we’re going to end there anyway. Why mess with all the pains and sufferings of this world when we could start enjoying eternity with Him now?
As I matured in my walk with Jesus, I realized that part of being a Christian man involves pointing people to Him. Jesus gives me purpose for this life, as well as the life to come. Even more, He’s given me a job to do.
As you learn how to be a Christian man, you’ll recognize that salvation is the start of something, not an end. God wants to work through your life to help others know about Him by the way you act and speak each day.
In the list below, I’ve highlighted some “next steps” for guys who want to be true Christ followers. The five items on this list are not easy, but they are biblical. They reflect what God says about men who claim to follow Him, and they will give you a great measuring stick for determining where you stand on your journey toward becoming a Christian man.
1. Love others well.
Jesus said that the world will be able to identify true believers by their love (John 13:35). Specifically, that involves our love for God and for others (Matthew 22:37-40). If you’re going to be a Christian man, you’ve got to pursue God with a passion and strive to become more like Jesus. And you have to love other people well—starting with your wife and kids.
2. Be steadfast in your faith.
If you’re going to be a Christian man, you’re going to stand out from the culture. Let’s face it, Christ followers are called to live differently from the world around us. That’s going to make you a target. As you draw closer to Jesus, the enemy is going to put a bigger spiritual bull’s eye on your back. If you’re going to live as a Christian man, you’ve got to learn how to resist temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) and stand steadfast in your faith (1 Corinthians 15:58).
3. Become a servant leader.
One day, two of Jesus’s disciples made an incredible request (Mark 10:35-40). Thinking He was getting ready to enter Jerusalem to wipe out the Romans, John and James asked the Lord to make them His top lieutenants in the new kingdom. Jesus responded with a challenge to lead through service. In fact, He reminded them that His whole ministry on earth was about being a servant (Mark 10:45).
Jesus expected His disciples to follow His example, and He expects us to do the same if we’re going to identify how to become a Christian man. That requires humility and sacrifice, but it’s also the recipe for being a man of God.
4. Connect with other men.
You probably realize that becoming a Christian man is not a solo act. The Bible makes it clear that it’s a team sport. We need other men as friends and mentors. To reach our destination, we’re going to need some guys who will walk alongside us and some guys who can point the way.
The Bible compares this to iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). Thankfully, you can find resources at sites like Manhood Journey and Betterman.com to facilitate connections with other guys. This is an important step for learning how to be a Christian man.
5. Pass faith to future generations.
I mentioned earlier that one reason God doesn’t take us straight to heaven is because He wants us to bring Him glory and to make Him known in the world. That means investing in the spiritual lives of others. It’s like the links of a chain. As each generation is added, the chain gets stronger.
In what may have been his last letter, Paul told Timothy to teach younger generations the truths of the faith so the chain could keep growing (2 Timothy 2:2). You can start in your own home, with your own kids. But you can also make a difference by pouring into the lives of others. That’s what Christian men do.
Living the Dream
As you reflect on how to be a Christian man, you might feel a little overwhelmed. You might think it’s beyond your reach or that it takes more strength and courage than you can muster. Well, in a sense, you’re right. You’ve got to let God help you and guide you.
He’s the only One who can help you be a Christian man.
But it’s not just some pipe dream or fantasy. You can become the man God created you to become. It’s possible for you to know how to be a Christian man who makes an eternal difference during your time on this planet.
The change will start with you. And it needs to start today.
Not sure where you’re headed as a dad? Take the Godly Father Assessment to see now.
