When a man has a son, the physical comparisons are inevitable. Friends and family members look for “his father’s eyes” or “his dad’s chin.” But beyond appearance, a strong father-son relationship is built on something deeper. Christian dads understand that teaching sons faith values remains their highest call.
It’s also their greatest challenge. After all, the genetic similarities are inevitable. Instilling spiritual values, though, means investment and intentionality. Biblical fatherhood advice makes it clear that raising sons who imitate our faith requires a strong relationship nurtured over time.
What makes it hard
Teaching sons faith values also can be challenging for a lot of guys because they didn’t have a model in their own lives. For whatever reason, their dads didn’t make those spiritual investments, so they struggle with leading their sons down that path.
Even men who had solid role models—either in their dads or in mentors—lack the confidence to lead the kind of father-son bonding activities that both strengthen their relationship and nurture spiritual growth. They feel the full weight of “imposter syndrome,” fearful that the “truth” of their own inadequacy will catch up to them when it matters most.
Thankfully, you don’t need to be a parenting expert or a perfect father to instill faith values into the life of your son. You just need a willing heart and a strong determination to stick with the stuff.
Yes, circumstances will knock you off course. The enemy will do his best to keep you on the bench instead of getting into the game. But dads who make it work never give up. They embrace biblical fatherhood advice. And, in the end, God blesses their efforts as only He can.
Ten tips for building father-son relationships
As mentioned, strong father-son relationships that produce faith values don’t just happen by accident. You can’t just wander into a great connection with your son. It takes time and effort. But it’s worth it in the end.
Here are ten biblical ideas for building relationships and teaching sons faith values. Some of them will be easier to implement than others, but all of them are solid and time-tested. You might even be doing some of them already. If so, keep it up. If not, prayerfully consider how you can start today.
Point him toward the heavenly Father
In his book, Receive, Jeff Kemp states that our “identity is received, not achieved.” He explains that manhood is a spiritual journey that involves fully understanding and embracing our role as sons of the Father. When we receive the blessings He alone provides, we can become the men He intended.
Fathers are called to point sons toward our heavenly Father so they can receive all He has for them as His kids. That begins with a personal relationship with Him through Jesus, but it extends to every aspect of life. You can help your son move in the right direction by setting the example and being a receptive son of the Father. You also can invest in his spiritual growth by praying with him and studying the Bible with him.
Passing faith values to your son will never get off the ground until he embraces a faith of his own.
Make time a priority
We can’t just teach sons faith values with our words. We have to show them how it’s done by creating that father son relationship. And that requires time together. Like many men, you might be really busy. But time is the most precious resource at your disposal, and your son will notice when you invest those moments with him.
At the same time, you’ve got to learn how to balance being present and being in his face. Helicopter parenting can be just as dangerous as neglect, so give him some appropriate space when he needs it.
Don’t live vicariously
It’s natural for dads to take pride in our sons’ accomplishments. We just have to make sure we’re not the ones determining the value of those accomplishments. The temptation is strong to live vicariously through our sons, to see them do all the things we failed to do. But that’s like taking a walk on thin ice.
Give your son the freedom to blaze his own trail. It might be in an area you pursued when you were his age, or it could be a totally different path. Either way, participate and support him without making it all about you. Let many of your father-son bonding activities reflect his interests and allow him to use his unique spiritual gifts. He will appreciate it, and he will get to see how God could use him in the future.
Tell him he’s enough
Guys tend to wonder if they’re good enough, smart enough, strong enough. In a nutshell, we simply struggle to know that we’re enough, period. We naturally question if we have what it takes to do anything that makes a difference in the world.
You’ve probably had those questions yourself, so you can be sure your son does as well. As a dad, you have a unique opportunity to assure your son that he is enough. Say it through words and say through actions. Speak blessings on him every chance you get and refuse to tear him down with your words. If a boy knows he has his father’s respect and affection, he can face any challenge the world might throw at him.
Model integrity
Even a quick survey of biblical parenting advice reveals the dangers of hypocrisy. “Do as a I say, but not as I do” parenting philosophies eventually collapse under their own weight. Even worse, you lose the credibility you need to nurture a strong father-son relationship and teach faith values.
The answer is living with integrity. You don’t have to be perfect. But you must strive to make sure your walk matches your talk. And when you do stumble, you own it. No excuses and no shifting blame. Confess it and seek forgiveness. These are lessons your son needs to learn for the “real world,” and you can show him how it’s done.
Keep the lines clear
Another great benefit of modeling integrity is that it tears down walls. Pride gets in the way and strains the lines of communication. But honesty and integrity promote healing and nurture intimacy and helps create that father son relationship.
You have to be careful, though, because those lines can get disconnected before you even realize it. Keep the signal strong in practical ways like listening more than talking, paying attention to your body language, putting away your phone, and looking your son in the eyes. This is also another spot where time can make a world of difference.
Make it a team sport
The English poet John Donne once wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” In other words, God didn’t wire any of us to go it alone. And guys really need the influence and accountability provided by other men.
So, find some mentors who can invest in your life as a dad and also support your son in godly ways. There is strength in numbers. If you’re looking for a place to start building mentoring relationships, check out The Forge, a great film that underscores the power of men supporting one another.
Discipline when necessary
Admittedly, this may be one of the toughest tips to put into practice as you’re teaching sons faith values. Culture says that it’s counterintuitive to enforce discipline when you’re trying to build a stronger bond with your son. But the Bible is clear that appropriate and loving discipline is exactly what our kids need from us.
As proof, consider our heavenly Father. He loves us more than we can imagine, but His immense love also demands that He discipline us when we sin. A lack of discipline isn’t loving. Honestly, it’s about as unloving as it gets. So have the hard conversations and take the difficult actions. Your son might not like it in the moment, but he will appreciate it in the long run.
Honor his mother
I know it’s stating the obvious, but you are not your son’s only parent. While you play an important role in his life, his mom also owns a piece of his heart. And how you treat her speaks volumes to him about what it means to be a man. If you are married to her, you need to love her sacrificially as Jesus loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Even if you are separated or divorced, you still need to honor her and show her proper respect.
Plus, your relationship with her teaches him how to treat the women in his life. If he sees respect, he is more likely to model respect. That’s a blessing for him and for his future spouse. This single choice has the potential to build a powerful legacy.
Keep the end in mind
The old business maxim challenges us to “begin with the end in mind.” The same is true when it comes to building strong father-son connections and teaching sons faith values. Things might be rough starting out, but you’ve got to keep your focus on the future.
I once heard a speaker say that parents are not just in the business of raising good kids. Ultimately, they are in the business of raising godly adults. That’s what keeping the end in mind is all about. While you’re trying to make an impact today, your true measure of success will show up months and even years from now.
Back to the Father
We started considering this idea of father-son bonding with an appeal to our heavenly Father. So, it makes sense to come full circle. As you strive to model faith values for your son, don’t neglect your own relationship with God.
Hear what He has to say to you by studying His Word and talk to Him through prayer. You can find a lot of good biblical parenting advice, and you have the privilege of plugging into the greatest Father possible. He chose you to be the father of your son, and He will equip you to cross the finish line well. Lean into Him when you’re discouraged and thank Him for the victories (no matter how small).
He will lead you if you’re willing to follow.
