Do you feel like a fatherhood failure?

For the longest time, churches have found excuses for ignoring the simple Jesus model. People want to live for their own glory and namesake. “I, me, myself” to be seated on the throne, high and lifted up to be adorned and worshiped (Matt. 23:7).

In fact, it is when we are vulnerable in our failures and say, “I don’t have my act together, I need Jesus.” that God shows His strength in us (2 Cor. 12:9-11). It all points to Christ. It’s all about Him and His grace. As one author put it, we need to be vulnerable “for the sake of the gospel”. We need to understand the gospel is about embracing lost sinners and growing together in a vibrant community.

Will we be vulnerable for the sake of the gospel? It could mean spending time with your son outside of the house— asking him a simple question like: How are you really doing? But beyond just listening, take time to share some struggles you’ve been facing. Be open and honest about your weaknesses and share about the amazing work God has been and is still doing in your life.

C. S. Lewis, the author, lecturer at Oxford, theologian, and the greatest Christian apologist in the early 19th century said well, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

In Till We Have Faces, Lewis wrote, “I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answers would suffice?” God does what is necessary even in the midst of suffering to make His children understand that He is the ultimate desire of their souls.

Don’t waste your fatherhood failues.

Our failures are an opportunity to point to God’s grace and not our own life lessons. I’ve learned through the hardship of ministry, Jesus is the answer in every aspect of my life. Looking at the past failures and closing yourself in the dungeon of despair helps no one. To rest in the promises of Scripture and pursue the price that has been set before me is the answer to this life.

As men, we want to avoid our weaknesses. We want to be in control and look confident. We want to hide those nights where no one is watching—as temptation creeps in—as we scroll through that website we shouldn’t visit. What about the anger that creeps in to hide the embarrassment of the mistake. Or, where you used sarcasm instead of love. How about when we slip into cheating the system by taking advantage of others rather than staying as men of integrity.

People will pressure you to be something you’re not. Fellow colleagues will pressure you to stay in the confines of a box. People will try to convince you to be someone you aren’t. Figure out how God has gifted you and make that the emphasis of your ministry. God is attracted to weakness and brokenness.

Use your fatherhood failures to point to God.

As we lead, we want to bring joy whenever possible, but our chief aim is to point people to Christ. Directing others to Christ may expose idols or require them to abandon sinful patterns, and both are painful and disruptive undertakings.

We lead best by modeling supreme affection for Christ and praising Him for the growth in our lives, even if it proves painful for a time. The secular culture that surrounds us today will see the quiet, faithful hearts and be impressed and draw closer to God.

Men who embrace God’s calling as leaders have learned no failure is final, whether his failure or someone else’s. If you’ve been a failure as a father until now—God can redeem the time. What God asks of a man is faithfulness. Success does not pertain to the size of the house he owns, nor how large his annual salary. The real question is obedience.

You are called to obedience.

Are you being faithful in spite of or in the midst of hardship to God’s calling? Are you being faithful in what God has commanded you to do in your fatherhood? A river cuts through a rock not because of its power but because of its persistence. As Charles Spurgeon said, “By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.”

I pray an army of men—you—will radically begin a movement of biblical fatherhood. I pray the same prayer John Wesley prayed, “Give me 100 men who fear nothing but sin and desires nothing but God; such alone will shake the gates of hell.”

I pray this movement will sweep this land of ordinary people—myself included—and we will choose the new life in Christ that calls us to make disciples—starting with our children. God is calling a new generation of men who are willing to follow the Lord Jesus with hearts devoted Him. Will you be that man? Will you help build that man?

Question: What’s one thing you can pick, considering your child’s age and stage, to share with him or her today? Tweet @manhoodjourneyor you can always email.  

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