3 things to remember so you avoid raising racist kids.

Racism starts at home. What you say and what you do as a dad matters. It only seems like the Kardashians have more influence than you, they don’t. When it comes not raising racist kids, we live in a world that craves an US vs THEM mentality. Think about it: Republican vs. Democrat. I could stop there. But, nah.

How about Microsoft vs. Apple? Coke vs. Pepsi? For NFL fans, it’s Cowboys vs. Washington Football Team. In college football, it’s Tennessee vs Florida. You’re reading this and just got mad because I didn’t mention your favorite thing or team. Stop it. You’re proving my point! : )

Mentioning tech and teams seems silly. But, you get the idea: rivalries exist. It’s one thing to like your team or tech. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to hate the other side. When does your mindset shift and start to see yourself as better or higher than others?

You can model this US vs THEM mindset in your house by what you say and what you do. Make no mistake, Paul is writing to believers in Ephesus and he’s not talking about college ball or caffeine. He’s talking about religion, culture, and race. Thankfully, God’s Word has a lot to say about these things.

I’ll assume you’re not intentionally raising racist kids. But, there are things us dads might do where we sow seeds of an US vs THEM mentality that—when it takes root—grows into a high view of self and a low view of others.

In Ephesians 2:11-22, Paul describes an US vs THEM mentality between Jews and Gentiles that was religious, cultural, and racial. Paul is encouraging his readers, the believers in Ephesus (read: you and me and the church), to remember some things so they might live with more gratefulness to God and more love for others.

Here are 3 things to remember so you avoid raising racist kids:

#1 Remember where you came from.

So then, remember that at one time you were Gentiles in the flesh — called “the uncircumcised” by those called “the circumcised,” which is done in the flesh by human hands. 12 At that time you were without Christ, excluded from the citizenship of Israel, and foreigners to the covenants of promise, without hope and without God in the world. —Ephesians 2:11-12

Paul’s saying here: yeah, remember back in the day, when you were without Jesus and some folks, the Jews, were quick to remind you of it. Let’s dig into Paul’s words. First, Paul says they were without Christ. The Gentiles were separated from God. Second, Paul then calls them foreigners and alienated from the covenant. Third, they were without hope and without God.

Sounds pretty bad. Here’s the truth. As a dad, don’t read this list and think you’re better in any way. You aren’t. Don’t forget where you came from. Before Christ, you were separated from God. You were once alienated from God and without hope. You had an US vs THEM mentality.

#2 Remember what Christ did for you.

But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he is our peace, who made both groups one and tore down the dividing wall of hostility. In his flesh, 15 he made of no effect the law consisting of commands and expressed in regulations, so that he might create in himself one new man from the two, resulting in peace. 16 He did this so that he might reconcile both to God in one body through the cross by which he put the hostility to death. 17 He came and proclaimed the good news of peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access in one spirit to the Father. —Ephesians 2:13-18

Thank God for telling Paul to write this next line: “But now in Christ Jesus…”. Boom. Because of Jesus Christ, you and I are now able to be brought near to God. Christ died for the Gentiles—for you and me. He died for all sinners.

In doing this, Christ gave us the opportunity for forgiveness, hope to be with Christ, to not be separated from God, and a brand spanking new life—one that doesn’t want what it used to want—but wants to live for God. Understand God, in sending Jesus, did at least two things from the cross:

Verse 14, Jesus brought us peace with God and the people around us.

Verses 14-16, Jesus brought unity from division. History tells us there was a literal wall in the temple meant to keep Gentiles out. Signs and everything. Jesus destroyed that wall with His work on the cross. Jesus’ work on the cross changed everything.

We love to create differences in our day. Here, we see, among many things, racism should not exist among those who call themselves believers. Part of believing what Christ did on the cross is believing He broke down the walls of religion, culture, and race. If you don’t get that, you missed something. Do not pass “Go”. Do not collect $200.

God sees humans as sinners separated from Him or believers who are unified with Him and His church. There is nothing else. That’s what Paul means when he writes for those you confess and believe that “There’s no Jew or Greek…slave of free…you are all one in Christ.”

Don’t forget what Christ did for you. For us believers, it means we are to be people of peace. We ask forgiveness and we forgive. There are no differences. As I’m writing this post, there’s a pandemic and protests on my TV, the answer is this: we need an injection of Christ today for both. Christ came to bring peace and unity.

#3 Remember who you are now.

So then you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints, and members of God’s household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building, being put together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 22 In him you are also being built together for God’s dwelling in the Spirit. —Ephesians 2:19-22

Paul uses these lines from God to remind Gentiles who they are now. They are now fellow citizens and members of God’s household. Wow. The Gentiles’ identity was now as believers in Christ based on Christ’s work on the cross. They were now part of a community of believers.

Verse 19, fellow citizens: Paul says they are no longer foreigners, but fellow citizens. This citizenship is in heaven. Just like Gentile believers are not lower class—no one is. You aren’t. I’m not. We are either citizens of heaven or we aren’t.

Verse 19, members of God’s household: Paul’s talking about a new family here. This is not the way the world thinks. In God’s house, we’re all adopted. He is our Father. We are one family. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. We are not removed. On the flip side, we all serve. The church is a serving body. It’s a group of people who live life together, love God, and make disciples.

Verse 20, built on the foundation: Paul focused on what his readers cared about here—the temple. Except now — the temple was different. The cornerstone was Christ—not the religious laws, not the cultural laws, and not a race. Now it was about Christ or not. There was God’s Word or not.

Don’t forget who you are now. You don’t consider others as lower than yourself. You’re not removed from the pain of others. You look for opportunities to serve. Stuff starts to make sense now. There are no divisions among humans. There is Christ and then there’s everything else. The Gentiles, you, and I, we were at one time separated from God. But, Christ came. Now, we have a new foundation. There is one body—the body of Christ—and every single person matters.

What’s the point?

Racism starts at home. If Ephesians 2 teaches us anything, it teaches Jesus breaks down the walls that divide us as people. A vertical and horizontal mystery took place when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus created the way for you to have a relationship God and love the people around you.

If we remember where we came from, we’ll tell our kids what our life was like before Christ. We’ll understand how wrong we can get this life on our own. We were separated from Christ and that was death. We’ll remember we constantly need Christ and God’s Word for help.

If we remember what Christ did, we’ll have hope in life now and forever. We’ll accept Christ’s call. We’ll remove any thoughts of being higher (or lower) than others. We’ll remember as God’s children, we need to point everyone to God while we’re the picture of humility and grace toward others.

If we remember who we are now as believers, we’ll love God, serve others, and be a part of a community that points to God. How we view the church and how our kids see us involved—or not—in church matters.

Let’s be dads who remember where we came from, remember what Christ did, and remember who we are now. If you get this right, you’ll do more than avoid raising racist kids, you’ll point your kids to God.

Question: In reading this post, was there one reminder you needed to hear more than the others? Tell us on twitter @manhoodjourney or you can always email us.