Have you ever caught yourself telling your kids, “Do as I say, not as I do?” Here’s the truth: your kids are going to do what you do. Right or wrong, your kids are going to follow in our footsteps. The question is not will our kids follow our example. The question is, what example are you giving them to follow. You need to be aware of your weaknesses as a dad, so you can work on eliminating them.
The first thing you need to do is take a long look in the mirror. Before you can understand what direction to move in, you need to evaluate your weaknesses as a dad. Get to know where you are strong and where you are weak. And it must be an honest evaluation. A great way to get an honest evaluation is to let someone else do it. Find a trusted friend and ask him, “What do you see in me that is ungodly?”
Once you are aware of your weaknesses, attack them. As men, we tend to find what we’re good at and stick with that. When I first started lifting weights, I discovered there were a few exercises I was naturally good at. I made sure I included these exercises in every workout session. After a few months, I got stronger…in areas where I was already strong! By neglecting exercises I was weak in—I continued to have weaknesses. The same is true in your spiritual life. If you neglect Learn to know when you’re winning as a dad.
Here are three ways to eliminate your weaknesses as a dad
1. Study God’s Word.
Nothing is as life-changing as putting God’s Word into practice by applying it to your everyday life. But know there is a difference between reading the Bible and studying the Bible. Studying God’s Word requires an intentional approach where you seek after God and are not just checking off a box. Pick up books on topics you want to improve at.
If you know someone you think is a great dad, husband, or disciple-maker, take him to lunch. Spend time with him. Ask him questions about whatever it is you admire about him. This will be a humbling experience, but it will also be one of growth—and that’s the goal.
2. Connect to a small group.
Join a small group of Christian men. Most churches offer some sort of men’s ministry. This will be a great place to listen to others and learn from their stories. One of the greatest lies Satan tells us is, “You are the only one dealing or struggling with ____ (fill in the blank with your own personal struggle)”. Joining a group of men who have the same priorities and goals as you will work wonders in helping you move closer to those goals.
There’s strength in numbers or as Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (NLT).
3. Add a layer of accountability.
Finally, as you take steps toward eliminating your weaknesses as a dad, you should consider adding some accountability to your life. You need to tell someone what you’re trying to accomplish and who you’re trying to become.
Then, give that person permission to check-in and ask you how you’re progressing. Give him permission to call you to the mat if the circumstances require it.
The Apostle Paul said it better when he told the newly formed church at Corinth, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ,” (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV). Paul was telling these young believers, if you want to know what a follower of Jesus looks like, look at me. There should be no loftier goal for a godly dad than to tell his children, “If you ever have a question about what it means to be a follower of Jesus, just follow my example. Do as you’ve seen me do.”
If you want your children to grow in their faith and love for Jesus, then you better be sure you’re doing the same thing. The goal isn’t to have any weaknesses as a dad. Of course, you’ll never be perfect. But, are you showing signs of getting stronger. Are you worthy of being followed? You want to be the kind of dad who can say, “Do as I do,” instead of “Do what I say, not what I do.”
