For centuries, the family table has been a launching pad for great conversations. But, as a dad, you also can transform table topics for kids into teachable moments that will make a difference in their lives.

But for that to happen, you first need to understand the keys to having meaningful conversations with your kids. Otherwise, your efforts are going to land flat as a pancake. Effective table topics for kids only work when they’re presented in a meaningful way. And that means asking strong, engaging questions.

Explore our YouVersion reading plans for dads and let Scripture transform you and your family.

“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.”

Proverbs 29:17

Keys for shaping your queries

For most people (including most parents), asking solid questions that lead to productive responses doesn’t come naturally. It’s a skill. And, like most skills, you get better at it with practice and perseverance. You can learn how to shape questions that will transform table topics for kids into powerful conversations.

For example, one of the best things you can do is learn to listen more than you talk. Too often, parents don’t wait for kids to answer. They either answer their own questions or jump straight into a sermon to prove a point. It’s always better to ask and wait. The old saying reminds us that people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. When it comes to sparking table topics with your kids, listening shows them how much you care.

Tips for deeper conversation

Make it a regular part of your schedule.

The more consistent you are, the more natural it becomes for you and your kids.

Don’t shy away from hard questions.

Ask the questions that really matter—and let your kids ask you tough questions, as well. If you run into a question that’s above your pay grade, never forget that “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out” is an acceptable response.

Ask the questions behind the questions.

In some ways, your follow-up questions are even more important than your icebreakers. Again, listening is important because that’s the only way you’ll know what to ask next.

Avoid questions with “yes” or “no” answers.

Questions are great tools for learning and teaching, but “yes/no” questions are usually a waste of time. When you’re setting up table topics for your kids, use questions that require some thought and some longer answers. 

Table Topics For Your Kids

Another key to building strong, meaningful questions is preparing your own heart first. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told His followers that if they remembered a rift with their friend during worship, they needed to deal with that conflict first (Matthew 5:23-24). Once they had experienced reconciliation, they could focus fully on their worship. 

The same is true with nurturing table topics for kids. You can’t approach them until you’ve checked out your own heart and motives. Plus, preparing yourself keeps you plugged into God’s wisdom and direction—two things you’ll need when talking to your kids.

Once you’ve learned how to ask questions well, you can start applying that knowledge to various subjects. These represent the core of table topics for kids. They are the meat and potatoes of winsome questions and dinner conversations. If you’re wondering where to start, here five table topics that can get your kids talking.

1. School

Of course, this is more than “how was your day?” Ask your child to describe a funny or unexpected experience they faced. Find out about upcoming events, including tests and projects. Assure them that this is not an “academic check-in” and that you’re not going to report back to any teachers or administrators. This is just you expressing interest in a huge part of your kid’s life.

2. Friendships

Kids can live on a social rollercoaster. One day, they’re on top of the world. The next day, they feel like they’re at the bottom of the ladder. Yet, for all the energy they invest in friendships, they might be hesitant to open up. So, be careful with your questions. Take what they give you and build on that. It might take more than one table talk to unwind all the knots—or you may be able to follow up during a less formal time down the road.

3. Faith

The problem with asking your kids questions about God is that they will inevitably turn the tables on you. So, as you dig into questions about their faith, be ready to answer some questions about your own. Again, you want to listen more than you talk, but you can still be honest about your own struggles and why you believe what you believe. That kind of transparency will encourage your child to share more about their thoughts and feelings.

4. Fears and Victories

Every human is afraid of something. Ask questions that encourage your child to talk about what gives them anxiety or fear. At the same time, celebrate the victories they experience. For instance, use a “highs and lows” icebreaker to initiate a table talk with your kids. Allow them to identify at least one great thing that has happened to them recently (a high) and one thing that has bothered them (a low). And be ready to share some from your own life as well.

5. The Future

Snakes and public speaking may be the biggest fears we face as humans, but uncertainty about the future ranks pretty high as well. As you approach this table topic with your kids, encourage them to share where they see themselves in five or ten years. Talk about what scares them and excites them about what’s ahead. Let them know that they don’t need to have everything figured out yet—but you’re interested in hearing what they think might be coming down the tracks.

You’re Called to Teach Them Well

As mentioned, questions can be great teaching tools. Along with parables, Jesus often used questions to break through old paradigms and to challenge people to think about things from a new perspective. You can do the same when you address table topics with kids.

Encourage critical thinking skills and urge them to dig deeper into identifying issues and finding solutions. Meanwhile, ask yourself a few questions—like “What did I learn?” and “How can I build on that?” Never stop asking questions of your kids or yourself.

Most of all, pray. Whether it’s for your own wisdom (James 1:5) or for something your child has shared, use this as a springboard for a deeper, personal connection with God. Talk with Him, then have fun talking with your kids.

Are you ready to be the dad God called you to be? Take the Godly Father Assessment to see how you’re doing and where you can improve as a father!