By nature, most guys like to be in charge. They like to be leaders, and that’s a good thing. And one of the greatest opportunities you’ll ever have as a man is providing spiritual leadership in your home.
Men who are spiritual leaders in their homes make a huge difference in the world and in the kingdom of God. As husbands, they serve as partners to their wives. They can be the man their wives need them to be.
But their roles as fathers also make a huge impact. In a world where fatherhood is often downplayed or even ridiculed, dads who are spiritual leaders provide security for their kids and encourage them to become the next generation of godly leaders.
This connection between spiritual leadership and fatherhood deserves a deeper dive.
“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:15
What is spiritual leadership?
Libraries and websites are filled with books on leadership. Many focus on the topic of spiritual leadership, either in a church setting or in the business world. And more than a few may even talk about how dads can be spiritual leaders in their homes.
With all that information, it can be confusing to really understand spiritual leadership and what it means for you. So, let’s make it easier. For me, here’s a really simple definition of spiritual leadership: Moving individuals toward an ongoing, deeper relationship with God.
When you get down to it, that’s what spiritual leaders do. They teach and guide others to become more like Jesus. In the home, that begins with a father guiding his children toward a relationship with Christ as Savior. It continues through his mentorship in the ways of God through Bible study, prayer, quality time, personal example, church attendance, and many other biblical practices.
As a Christian dad, you have a responsibility to point your kids toward Jesus while they live under your roof. Sometimes, you’ll be able to use your natural abilities and spiritual gifts to make that happen. Other times, the challenge will be greater. But the responsibility never changes.
Why Fathers Matter as Spiritual Leaders
When you think about spiritual leadership in your home, it’s fair to ask how that lot fell to you as a father. Well, the simple answer is: God said so. As far back as the Garden of Eden, God established the man as the head of the household. Through the order of creation, the Lord gave men a unique role within the family.
Later, as His people prepared to enter the promised land, God emphasized the spiritual element to this leadership role. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, God challenged parents to tell their children about God’s great works and to immerse them in His words. In verses 20-25, He painted a word picture of fathers answering the spiritual questions of their sons. While this certainly does not discount the contributions of moms or the questions of daughters, it does suggest the primary role a father plays in leading his family spiritually.
What can a father do today?
As a dad, you may already be embracing your role as a spiritual leader in your family. If so, that’s awesome. Keep up the good work.
More likely, you recognize some gaps in your spiritual leadership at home and are wondering how to take some steps in the right direction. If that’s you, the list below highlights four practical spiritual leadership qualities you can begin developing today.
Be a servant.
Genuine leaders are servants first. In fact, Jesus, the greatest Leader who ever lived, said that His mission was to serve, not be served (Mark 10:45). As a dad, God calls you to make the necessary sacrifices to meet your kids where they are, to do whatever it takes to help them see Jesus through your life. By serving them, you are offering service to God.
Be consistent.
Consistency does not mean perfection. You’ll never get everything right 100% of the time. But your kids aren’t expecting you to be perfect anyway. They just want you to live with integrity. They want your words to match your actions, and they want you to set an example they can follow. Anything else robs them of security and erodes your effectiveness as a spiritual leader.
Be a partner.
In many ways, spiritual leadership is a team sport. While you are the primary spiritual leader in the home, you can’t do it alone. You need to be on the same page as your wife. The two of you need to work together. Even if you’re divorced, you still have a responsibility to involve your former spouse to the extent that you are able and they are willing.
Be humble.
Fatherhood is a great experience, but it’s also a humbling experience. It’s filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. Thankfully, you have a heavenly Father for those times when you have more questions than answers (James 1:5). Even when the waters are smooth, trust Him and come to Him in humility. He will never turn you away if you sincerely seek Him.
Build a team
Like so many things in the Christian life, spiritual leadership in your home is both a process and a challenge. It may require some “baby steps” at first, but it’s the right thing to do. Best of all, you don’t have to do it alone.
Build a team that can do life with you. As noted, that starts with God, and it includes your wife. But you also need to find ways to connect with other men. The writer of Proverbs talked about iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17), and you’ll need that edge if you’re going to be the spiritual leader of your family. What’s more, you can return the favor to those men by being a blessing to them.
Are you ready to be the dad God called you to be? Take the Godly Father Assessment to see how you’re doing and where you can improve as a father!
