I lead a small but quickly growing nonprofit ministry that helps fathers with discipling their sons. I’m surrounded by talent. Our Board and volunteer ranks are filled with godly and committed people who pour their heart into our mission. The kind of people that remind me of how to trust God when He leads me into uncharted territory.

I was with a key volunteer recently and an interesting issue came up. It’s one I think most men struggle with, and as fathers and husbands, we need to fight through it.

The internal monologue

My friend wondered if he was qualified to serve in a particular capacity. And, he carried a perception of me that didn’t help matters. He believed – that I believed – that I was imminently qualified for my role and never had thoughts of inadequacy, fear, or uncertainty.

We’d unearthed two questions:

  • Was he qualified?
  • Did I ever wonder the same thing?

To his surprise, the answer to both questions was the same: YES!

He’s supremely qualified for his role (I could argue he’s overqualified, given his business prowess and sterling reputation). And, I do regularly ask myself the same question.

Uncharted waters

Many of the things I’m doing today, I wasn’t doing just one year ago. I’ve stepped into several new arenas, unsure if I had the chops. God has pushed me to the edge of my faith.

When we’re in those seasons, it can be challenging to keep our equilibrium. But, if we only do the things that are comfortable, then we’ve stopped growing.

I think fathers tangle with these two questions more often than we’d care to admit. Do we have what it takes to be a godly dad? Does anybody else wonder this same thing?

And many things are “first-time” problems for us. Stuff we’ve never faced before and maybe things we weren’t good at ourselves. How can I help my son with (_fill in tough boy problem here_), especially if I didn’t manage that very effectively myself?

Asking the right question

If questions like this plague you, welcome to the club. Then, consider this: You might be asking the wrong question.

We tend to wonder, “Am I able to do this?” Instead, we should ask, “Has God given me the task?”

If He has, then matter is settled. The outcome is completely up to Him. I must be faithful and put my hand to the plow.

I need to silence the internal monologue that tells me I don’t have what it takes to succeed. Instead, I need to put my hope in God to deliver on His promise. “For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (Deut 20:4 NIV)

If you’re a father, He’s asked you to be a godly one. If you’re a husband, He’s asked you to be a loving one. He’ll help you do that. If he’s asked you to serve on a committee, coach a team, or lead a father & son Bible study, He’ll give you the guidance and air cover to take that hill.

Trust Him with your insecurity and move forward.



Like this post and want to write for Manhood Journey? Email Ryan Sanders your post and he’ll either not reply because your idea is that bad—or he’ll assign you a deadline.

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

About the Author:

Kent Evans is the Co-founder and Executive Director of  Manhood Journey. Kent's the author of  Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You . He and his wife April have five sons and live in Louisville, Kentucky.