Every team needs a coach. Every ship needs a captain. And every family needs a spiritual leader. And based on what we see in Scripture, God has given us plenty of Bible verses about spiritual leadership. It’s not that women are somehow incapable or inadequate to be spiritual leaders. In fact, our culture’s rising divorce rate has created scenarios where mothers in single-parent homes have no other option. And even in two-parent homes, wise husbands will lean into the wisdom of their wives.
But ultimately, God holds one person accountable for what happens under a family’s roof. And the Bible verses about a husband being a spiritual leader are evidence that this privilege and responsibility falls to us as men.
What Spiritual Leadership Means
So, if husbands and wives are partners in marriage, why are men singled out for spiritual leadership? Well, even in partnerships, someone has the final call in making decisions. And Scripture states that husbands play that role in the home.
Many believe it’s because Adam was created first. Some scholars also point out that the Lord addressed Adam first after the couple had eaten the fruit, indicating that He held Adam responsible for the first family’s moral failure. In any case, the Bible is clear that husbands are the spiritual leaders of their homes.
But that doesn’t mean guys hold authoritarian control. We need to remember that God is the true Head of every home, and He has placed our wives in our lives to provide wisdom and, sometimes, an opposing view. So, Bible verses about husbands being spiritual leaders have nothing to do with Lone Rangers running their own show.
Bible verses about a husband being a spiritual leader also reject the idea of being intimidating or manipulative. Instead, husbands are called to set an example for their families. They practice the disciplines that nurture spiritual growth in their own lives so their family members can follow suit.
What’s more, a husband’s spiritual leadership requires him to be a servant leader. During His time on earth, Jesus came to serve. Men are called to translate His example of servant leadership into their roles as husbands and dads.
A Few Verses to Think About
One of the great things about Scripture is that it tells the stories of real people who faced real challenges. For husbands striving to become spiritual leaders, those examples—both positive and negative—are priceless. Seeing what worked and didn’t work for guys like Moses and David and Noah and Abraham can provide great insights for those of us living in their spiritual shadows.
But along with those character studies, God has given us other Bible verses about a husband being a spiritual leader. In those cases, men like Paul and Peter provided the doctrinal background for moving forward in this calling. Below are five examples of what the Bible says about husbands being spiritual leaders at home.
“He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children with painful effort. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16
Admittedly, God’s words to Eve in the aftermath of Eden are tough to understand and apply. For centuries, theologians have wrestled with a woman’s “desire” for her husband. The Hebrew word basically means “longing,” which could imply a submission to one’s husband or a fight to usurp his authority. Either way, the last part says husbands will “rule over” their wives. Again, this doesn’t mean dominating them. It means leading your family with love and understanding.
“I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
The church in Corinth was a hot mess in a lot of ways. One problem Paul addressed directly was how husbands and wives interacted in worship. Here, he stated that husbands should demonstrate spiritual leadership by reinforcing the teachings of the church in the home. Today, men can do that by praying with (and for) their families, even leading family devotionals and Bible study.
“Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”1 Peter 3:7
Husbands who want to be spiritual leaders help their wives become more like Jesus. Again, it’s not that women can’t come to know Jesus better on their own. As “coheirs of grace,” they have the same relationship with Him as men do. But God challenged husbands to love and encourage their wives spiritually. In fact, Peter said a man’s own connection with God is tied to his relationship with his spouse.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” Ephesians 5:25
For many, Ephesians 5 is a touchy passage because it calls women to submit to their husbands. But God also commanded husbands to love their wives as Jesus loved the church—and that requires sacrifice. It goes back to the idea of servant leadership. As husbands put their wives’ needs above their own, treating them the way Jesus treated the church, the idea of submission becomes far less polarizing.
“Deacons are to be husbands of one wife, managing their children and their own households competently. For those who have served well as deacons acquire a good standing for themselves and great boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.” 1 Timothy 3:12-13
If you ever wonder if God takes a husband’s spiritual leadership at home seriously, just remember these verses. Paul told Timothy that a man who couldn’t lead at home had no business trying to be a leader in a local congregation. That really says more about how husbands lead their families than about leading the church.
You Can Choose to Be a Spiritual Leader
This is just a sample of Bible verses about a husband being a spiritual leader at home, but these Scriptures reinforce why our role as men is so important. Without proper spiritual leadership, families can spin into moral and relational chaos. God has given us the responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen.
If you’ve slacked as the spiritual leader of your home, now is the perfect time to set things right. And, thankfully, you don’t have to go it alone. Leadership is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and He can give you the wisdom and direction to become the man your wife and kids really need.
With His help, you can become the spiritual leader of your home.
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