First John 4:8 makes a claim that theologians have wrestled with for centuries: God is love. Not that God is loving, or that love is one of His qualities. God is love, in His very nature. And since none of us has seen God face to face, the clearest picture we have of what that love actually looks like is Jesus.
We can learn to love like Jesus loved. And for any man who wants to lead his family and serve others well, that is worth understanding carefully.
Key Takeaways
- Love Starts with Sacrifice: Loving like Jesus means consistently putting the needs of others above your own desires, even when it costs you something.
- Investment Is an Act of Love: Pouring into the lives of your wife, kids, and other men is a way to love like Jesus loved.
- Hard Truths Are Part of the Picture: Letting someone stay on the wrong path without saying something is not kindness, and Jesus never confused the two.
- Love Breaks Down Barriers: Jesus crossed every social and cultural line to reach people, and loving like Jesus means letting relationships matter more than unwritten rules.
- Your Word Is Your Love: Keeping your promises to your wife, your kids, and the people around you is one of the clearest ways to reflect the love of Christ in daily life.
The True Meaning of Love
More than half a century ago, the Beatles told us that all you need is love. In a sense, they were right. Love is incredibly important, as long as it is the right kind of love.
The world often confuses love with sex, and our culture has already cheapened and distorted that from God’s intended purpose. Others think love means agreeing with everyone, tolerating them, and never offending them. That is not love either. At best, it is sentimentality taken to unhealthy extremes. At worst, it is driven by fear, insincerity, and hypocrisy.
Understanding the four types of love in the Bible helps clarify what genuine love actually looks like. When we learn to love like Jesus does, we are imitating the very Author of love. To love like Jesus loved is to step into the kind of men God created us to be.
How You Can Love Like Jesus
Writers have filled books about Jesus since He set foot on Earth. But one source remains the ultimate guide to who He is and how He loved: Scripture. If you want to know what Jesus is like, spend time in His Word. The Bible teaches us how to act like Jesus, and that includes learning how to love like Jesus.
Here is what the Bible shows us about how Jesus loved others during His time on earth, and how we can do the same.
Jesus Sacrifices Himself for Others
On the night before He was crucified, Jesus told His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends,” (John 15:13). Then He demonstrated that love on the cross. That is what John 3:16 is ultimately about: God giving what cost Him the most for people who had done nothing to deserve it.
We may not be called to lay down our lives literally, but loving like Jesus does require sacrifice. We have to put the needs of others above our own desires, especially at home, where it tends to be the hardest.
Jesus Invests in Others
Jesus demonstrated His love by pouring into the lives of other people. Sometimes it was an individual, like Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1–10). Other times it was a crowd, like when He fed the multitude (Mark 6:30–44). Most notably, He invested deeply in His disciples. While He shared parables with crowds, He explained them to His disciples in private (Mark 4:33–34).
You can show love by serving as a mentor or simply being available. You can pour into your wife and kids through family devotions and into other men through small, trusted friendships. Serving God well is an act of love, and you love like Jesus when you make an intentional effort to be His hands and feet for someone else.
Jesus Loves the Church
Ephesians 5:25 is direct: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That is the standard. Not affection when it is convenient, not leadership when it is easy, but a love that is willing to lay down its preferences, its comfort, and its agenda for the sake of the person it is committed to.
Loving like Jesus in marriage means your wife feels known, valued, and safe. It means initiating spiritually, staying engaged emotionally, and choosing her consistently. The way a husband loves his wife is one of the most concrete expressions of what it means to love like Jesus in daily life.
Jesus Shares Hard Truths
During His time on earth, Jesus never parsed words. He was all about “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). That is why He could correct James and John when they showed a proud spirit (Mark 10:35–45) and warn Peter about his upcoming denials (John 13:37–38). Matthew records multiple occasions when Jesus confronted the disciples’ lack of faith (Matthew 6:30; 8:26; 14:31; 17:20).
A boss once said that to be unclear is to be unkind. Sometimes you have to spell out what is wrong, even when it is uncomfortable. Letting someone stay on the wrong path without saying anything is not love. Jesus never avoided the tough conversations. He just anchored them in love.
Jesus Breaks Through Barriers
In first-century Jewish culture, there were written rules from the law of Moses and unwritten rules from the religious leaders. Jesus respected the first and consistently ignored the second when it got in the way of people. He crossed barriers of gender and ethnicity when He spoke with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1–42). He freely ministered to outcasts and sinners (Matthew 9:9–13). He felt no obligation to man-made Sabbath restrictions when someone needed help (Matthew 12:1–8).
Jesus’s love never let rules get in the way of relationships. If we are going to love like Jesus loved, neither should ours.
Jesus Keeps His Promises
The writer of Hebrews noted that it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18). So, since Jesus is God, it is also impossible for Him to lie. He demonstrated His love by keeping His promises, most notably when He said He would rise from the dead (Mark 8:31; 9:30–32; 10:33) and when He promised to send the Holy Spirit (John 14:16–17; Luke 24:49).
Jesus also promised to return, and that promise still stands. To love like Jesus loved, you must be a man of your word. Whether it is at home, at work, at church, or with friends, keeping your promises is one of the most tangible ways to love like Jesus.
Jesus’s Love Never Ceases
The five examples above describe how Jesus demonstrated His love during His time on earth, but make no mistake: Jesus is still in the loving business. He loves others today through His people as His agents on earth. He calls us to be His hands and feet as we love like He loved. We sacrifice. We invest. We share the truth in love. We break down walls. We keep promises.
If you are still working through what it means to have a personal relationship with the God who is love, understanding what salvation means is the right place to start.
When we live the way Jesus lived, we naturally love the way Jesus loved.
Related Questions
What does it mean to love like Jesus?
Loving like Jesus means putting others’ needs above your own, telling the truth even when it is hard, breaking down barriers that keep you from people, and keeping your word consistently.
What did Jesus say about love?
Among many other teachings about love, in John 15:12, Jesus commanded His followers to love one another as He had loved them, and in Matthew 22:37–39, He identified love for God and love for neighbor as the two greatest commandments.
How did Jesus show love?
Jesus shows love through sacrifice, personal investment in others, honest conversation, willingness to cross social barriers, and faithful fulfillment of every promise He made.
How do you show your love for Jesus?
John 14:15 gives a direct answer: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments,” meaning obedience with the right heart is key to how we love Christ.
