In this post we will dive in to some questions to ask before a big talk with your child to help you better connect.
Dad: “How was your day today?”
Dad: “I mean, what did you do today?”
Child: “Oh, nothing.”
Have you ever heard this script during mealtime, drive-time, bedtime or anytime in between?
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. —Proverbs 18:21
I remember such rote conversations with my own parents. It was easy to push them away by feigning indifference. The strategy was simple: respond with minimal effort, don’t make eye contact, go quiet. And I was determined to prevent my kids from doing this to me. I was onto them! I had mastered this art form myself before I even entered puberty. None of my offspring would manipulate me.
Sadly, this is what many parents think, and we all fail just like our own parents did.
But we can’t give up! There are many benefits to having good conversations with our kids. And there’s a way to break past their walls. It lies in the power of questions. Asking the right questions—the right way—interrupts the negative thinking that tends to course through their minds:
- Talking with you is boring
- You don’t really care about my life
- Can we just get this over with?
You may have already been aware of their thought processes. But many of us parents have allowed them to stew for too long. Over time, this psychological spin can fester, souring their overall relationship with us.