What to watch: teaching your kids to have a biblical media filter.

Growing up in the south, summers were dedicated to baseball. If you were a boy, or girl for that matter, as soon as you were able to strengthen your stocky little legs enough to stand, someone would stick a bat in your hand. Then they would adjust your stance a little and say, “try to hit this,” as they tossed some sort of ball in your direction.

That’s how it starts. As you got older, the directions became more sophisticated. You weren’t supposed to swing at every pitch that came your way. You had to learn to decipher the difference between a good pitch and a bad pitch. The difference between a strike and a ball. You had to develop a “good eye.”

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” —Philippians 4:8

“I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.” —Psalm 101:3

Coaching in the media game

It was a skill for sure. It took time to develop a good eye. Time and practice. Swing at a bad pitch in practice, your coaches would let you know about it. Depending on the coach, correction could be gentle or it could involve pushups. Or it could be running around the entire campus of the school even though the pitch was a little high—the way you like it—and only inches outside the strike zone…for example, not a specific instance or anything. Anyway, there was correction when you went after something you shouldn’t and encouragements of, “Good eye, Eric,” (only if your name is Eric) when you let wild pitches go by.

The same ideas are true for developing a “good eye” when it comes to media. It takes time and practice. And it is a skill your children will have to develop for themselves. Our job is to coach them on how to learn the good from the bad. The things that are okay and the things they should let go by.

Start with the basics and be aware.

Be aware of media, entertainment, game developers, and news agencies. They all seem to have an agenda. They’re trying to achieve something (push a message, get more eyeballs, the list goes on). This doesn’t necessarily make them “evil,” but it does make them intentional. 

You might start with all of the parental control apps, filters, and blockers you can find. When your kids are young, nothing is long term in their minds. Nothing has lasting effects. But the truth is, you can’t un-see something. Once an image has made its way into your mind, it’s there. So, we have to safeguard things until our kids learn for themselves what the dangers can be.

It’s the same idea as baby-proofing your house. When new parents bring home their little bundle of joy from the hospital, they bring the little baby into a house filled with cabinet locks, electrical socket plugs, and impossibly hard-to-open doorknob covers. These precautions aren’t needed as the toddler grows. They have been taught not to stick stuff into electric sockets and are aware of the dangers that come if they do.

I’m not going to tell you precisely what decision to make—what video games your kids should or should not play, to what age they do or don’t get a cell phone, to whether TV or movie ratings can be used as a hard and fast guide to what they can watch. Here’s my point: root your decision in Scripture. PluggedIn reviews and movie ratings can be helpful guides. But in the end, take your decision back to truth, not the shifting sands and agenda-laden “guides” of this age.

You must engage. Take the fight to the opponent.

You can’t sit on the sidelines and let your kids explore. Why do we think R-rated movies with sex, abuse, cursing are okay if you’re over 18 or 21? At what point in our maturation does this garbage-in not lead to garbage-out? The answer: never. It always affects us, we just develop more sophisticated coping tools and we can mask its short-term effects better than teenagers can. But, don’t be fooled, consuming garbage content is bad for you. Period.

Parental control software and internet filtering is good to have during the process of us teaching our kids about the dangerous effects the wrong type of media can have. But this will only protect so much for so long. We have to teach our kids how to understand the differences on their own. They have to learn to protect themselves.

Move to the “why”.

Our kids need to know “why” what they watch or listen to matters so much. In Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi, he told them to fix their thoughts on “what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Phil. 4:8). The reason why Paul instructed this matter of thought is so that, “the God of peace will be with you.” The thoughts Paul listed led to God and a godly lifestyle.

This is our ultimate goal as Christians, to move closer to God. To be with Him. When we allow garbage to enter our minds through our eyes and ears, it will have an ungodly effect. And those effects don’t go away when the movies or music are turned off.

We must have conversations about why they shouldn’t watch or listen to just anything that comes out. And those conversations shouldn’t end with the phrase “because I said so.” These conversations have to be real. Honest. Point to God. And probably be repeated. Maybe, depending on timing and stage of your child, tell him about some of the negative effects you’ve had to face from poor choices.

Ultimately, we are trying to prepare our kids to follow God in all areas of their lives—for their whole lives. Not just while they live in our house. When they turn 18 and are old enough to watch R-rated movies, should they? Is media that was bad for them at 16 okay at 18? Paul told the church in Rome, just because something is permissible doesn’t mean it is beneficial (1 Cor. 10:23).

We have to teach our kids that if there is something that moves us away from God, it’s simply not worth having. Regardless of our age. Jesus said it this way, “If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away” (Matt. 18:9).

Give them an example to follow.

Finally, you have to show them the right example to follow. After Paul told his friends in Philippi to keep their minds focused on godly things, he told them to, “Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me,” (Phil. 4:9). Paul didn’t just tell them about the right way; he modeled it for them.

What you do will always matter more than what you say. You know that. So, lead by example. If you are watching something with your kids and it turns sideways, turn it off. Then tell your kids why. Remember, the “why” matters. Take a look through your “continuing watching” list on Netflix. Anything not belong? Remove it. Radio station playing some music with ungodly lyrics, change the station. And tell your kids why.

The issue is not what can your child watch, but how will you decide what to watch. Here’s the big secret: have a filter you can tie back to Scripture. Then, practice saying this: “The reason our family does (this or that), is because we think it’s biblical.” Over time, doing this is all about teaching your kids not just what to do but why. Then, once they get the what, how, and why—they will be more likely to make godly decisions when you aren’t around.

Dealing with the dangers of media will be an ongoing battle. One that will only get harder and harder as more and more of it comes through more and more outlets. But, coaching our kids up today will help them develop a “good eye” for tomorrow.

Mission 2:  Become a Father On Purpose. Either way, watch and share this video clip from facebook.