It’s a question every man asks at some point: What is masculinity? While the words might be a little different from guy to guy, the heartbeat behind the question resonates loud and clear.
Every boy wants to become a man who is valued. And every man wants to know that he isn’t just taking up space on this planet for a few short years. So, deep down, the question remains: How does masculinity impact us ?
It’s a question that every man must answer if he is going to move on in life and become the person God created him to become.
Start with the Maker
Since the question about the nature and characteristics of masculinity are common threads among men, guys don’t have to look far to find possible answers. The world has its own definitions of masculinity, and it has its own ideas about what it means to be a man. However, the answers the culture provides for How masculinity impacts society today? usually fall short because they ignore the One whose opinion matters most.
As Christ followers, we aren’t just men trying to find our way in the world. We aren’t just searching for the right key to open the right door. We’ve been called to reflect God’s purposes in this world, being a light that points people toward Him.
And when it comes to understanding the nature of masculinity, we have to start with His perspective. He is our Maker and our Sustainer. He knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us more than we could ever imagine.
And He alone gives us the only reasonable answer to the influence of masculinity in our lives?
Finding God’s Perspective
The quest to define true masculinity begins with God. And to discover His take on the subject, we have to turn to His Word. Like so many other things in the Christian life, the Bible holds the key to learning and embracing God’s response to the question, How perceptions of manhood shape our current reality of masculinity?
As we study God’s Word, we begin to plug into His thoughts and His ideas. We begin to see why He created human beings—and how we can best fulfill His plans and purposes for our lives. Below, I’ve listed five basics related to a biblical view of masculinity. These are foundational pieces to the puzzle of godly manhood. The list isn’t comprehensive because the Bible has a lot to say about being a man of God. But it can get guys like us—guys who want to understand and embrace true masculinity—moving in the right direction.
True masculinity requires a personal relationship with Jesus
From the very beginning, God created humanity with a purpose and a plan. That plan was marred when Adam and Eve chose to rebel against Him in Eden. At the same time, true masculinity suffered the corrupting influence of sin. So, our only chance of reclaiming any sense of God’s design for masculinity—the only hope we have of answering What is the role of masculinity in our culture today? in a meaningful way—is to restore our relationship with Him. And that only happens when we surrender our lives to Jesus and accept His sacrifice on the cross as the payment for our sins. We need the Author of true masculinity to redeem true masculinity in our own lives.
True masculinity embraces the image of God
Before sin entered the picture, God created people in a perfect context. What’s more, the early verses of the Bible remind us that He created us in His image—what theologians call the imago dei (Genesis 2:26-27). While sin has damaged His image within His highest creation, it has not completely destroyed it. We still carry the image of God in our lives. For guys, true masculinity is defined by our understanding of God’s image within us and our commitment to reflect Him to the world around us. We need to accept the imago dei and live it out if we are going to know what masculinity is all about.
True masculinity is a matter of the heart
In our culture, we often see masculinity defined by outward appearances and actions. Even within Christianity, we sometimes buy into the narrative that genuine masculinity is the equivalent of “manliness” (however one chooses to define that term). But since God has created each man with different talents, gifts, and personalities, we can’t assume that What is masculinity? can be answered with a one-size-fits-all proposition. We can’t fall into the trap that Samuel found himself in, judging worth and value by what we see on the outside (1 Samuel 16:6-7). God praises men who follow after His heart, who trust Him without leaning on their own intellect or abilities (1 Samuel 13:13-14; Proverbs 3:5-6). While the outside might be important, real men connect with God at the heart.
True masculinity requires sacrifice
It’s been said—and I completely agree—that Jesus is the ultimate example of manhood in human history. If we want to know what true masculinity is all about, we have no better example than our Messiah and Savior. But Jesus said His mission on earth was not to overthrow governments or win great military battles. In a nutshell, He came to sacrifice Himself for the world (Mark 10:45). If we want to follow in His steps of true masculinity, we’re going to have to sacrifice as well. We’ll need to put our needs and desires on the back burner and learn to serve as He did. True masculinity involves leadership, but only in the form of servant leadership that puts others first.
True masculinity fulfills its obligations
When the apostle Paul talked about genuine manhood, he emphasized a guy’s role in meeting the needs of those who depend on him. In fact, he said that a man who didn’t provide for those under his care was worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8)! Everyone’s context is different, but all of us have people who rely on us in one way or another. For some, it might be a wife or kids. For others, it might be aging parents. Or it could be something completely different. Whatever your particular context, you have obligations and responsibilities. And true masculinity means doing all you can to support and care for those who need you most.
Passing the blessing
We started out with the acknowledgement that every guy longs to know the answer to What is masculinity? Every male—from young boys to senior adults—wants to know that they are on the right track as men, that they are enough.
Ideally, that message is passed from fathers to sons. Dads have a responsibility to teach their sons how to be men and to send them into the “real world” with a blessing that affirms their genuine manhood. Fathers should raise their boys in such a way that the answer to “What is masculinity?” becomes “Look in the mirror to see God’s response.”
Unfortunately, many men never receive that blessing from their fathers. And many younger boys and teenagers aren’t hearing it from their dads either. This is where you can step in. As a friend, role model, and mentor, you can pass the blessing on to other guys. You can help them answer What is masculinity? and affirm the value God has placed on their lives.
Look for chances to share the blessing. Look for ways to reveal God’s definition of masculinity to guys who really need the truth.