What Does Sexual Purity Look Like in Practice?

Sex is awesome. I don’t need to tell you that. You know precisely what I’m talking about. While sex is one of the greatest gifts God has given mankind (emphasis on “man”), it can be one of our biggest undoings when we take it out of its intended confines. There’s no telling how many families have suffered and relationships ruined because of sexual impurity. But we’re not going to let that happen to us! Nope. Let’s look at some ways to practice sexual purity.

Be Faithful to Your Spouse.

This may seem like an obvious tip, and it should. Being a faithful man should be obvious. Honoring the vows you made on your wedding day should be at the top of your priority list. They weren’t just words you repeated from some minister; they were promises you made to your wife in front of all your family, friends, and God Himself. That matters. Don’t even let the idea of someone else ever be an option, or it will move from thought to reality quicker than you realize. Therefore, focus on showing your wife you love her at every turn.

Guard your mind.

Sexual impurity starts in the mind. It’s almost impossible to have sex without thinking about it first. As men, we are stimulated visually. Sure, we want an intelligent woman with a good sense of humor, but it’s what we see that first turns us on. Because of this, we have to be very careful what we put in front of our eyes (Psalm 101:3; 119:37). You may think of porn as no big deal because it’s not real life, but Jesus called it adultery (Matthew 5:28). Do you really want to cheat on your bride with make-believe as a partner?

It’s not only what we see that brings about impure thoughts; it’s what we hear, too. If you and your buddies spend time talking about some actress, coworker, or girl from your college days in a sexual context, those impure words will eventually turn into impure thoughts. And if it’s a woman you actually know, those impure thoughts could turn into impure actions.

Be an uncompromising guardian about what you allow into your mind. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Write down some guidelines to follow.

You’re a smart guy. You know what your weaknesses are and where you are likely to trip up in the area of sexual purity. Give yourself some boundaries, a set of safety rails that will prevent you from wandering out into dangerous areas. Here are some examples:

1. I won’t be alone with a woman who is not my wife.
2. I won’t watch any movie that involves nudity.
3. When I go on business trips, I’ll request the hotel disconnect the cable (or even remove the TV altogether).
4. I won’t follow women on social media who constantly post provocative pictures.
5. I won’t have close friendships with women.

Find someone to keep you accountable.

Tell a trusted friend(s) about your weak areas. Let them know the guidelines you’ve set up to protect yourself and give him (it’s got to be a “him”) permission to ask you about it. When you make a mistake, confess your sin to this guy. Allow him the freedom to call you out on your actions and motives regarding sexual impurity.

When in doubt, run away.

If a situation even hints at slipping into sexually impure waters, run away. Just leave. The Bible warns us to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). God’s Word also gives us the example of Joseph. He was a good-looking dude pursued by another man’s wife, so he ran away from her (Genesis 39:10, 12). When it comes to sexual impurity, retreat is always better than surrender.

Sexual purity is a key part of spiritual growth.

Here’s the bottom line, do whatever is necessary for you to remain faithful to your wife in every conceivable way. The years you spent building a life and family with her can be snatched away in an instant if you aren’t careful. Use these examples, create some of your own, and put them into practice.