Brothers, if culture lies to us, it lies to us most with this sin. Culture says we can look but not touch. Scripture tells us if our eye causes us to sin, gouge it out. So what are we to do? How are we to live? In this post, I’ll examine the sin of lust, how it plays out as a dad and how you can eliminate it.
What is lust?
The definition of lust, is an uncontrolled or illicit desire or appetite. We generally associate it with sex. But it’s about appetite—like greed and gluttony—an appetite for the forbidden. It’s a passionate or overmastering desire or craving.
Lust drives us to see people as objects. Objects for our own gratification and pleasure. It causes us to forget God. Having said that, in our sex-saturated culture, it’s a great place to exercise leadership and set a powerful example for your wife and kids. From how you talk about your own wife, to the shows you watch, to the amount of self-control you exert.
How does lust show up in a dad’s life?
The disengaged dad says: “I want it and will do anything to get it.”
Satan knows we can be tempted in this area. So we must fight. Our fight is not against flesh and blood. Lusting is not okay simply because you’re a red-blooded male. It’s a fight you must dig in and resist.
Here’s the deal. Sexual desire itself is good. God made it. But there are two avenues we wrongly go down in relation to sex. We tend to put our wives and God in a position of dishonor. When we realize this is happening, we must change or we’re sowing seeds of relational decay.
We talk a lot about this sin and marriage in the full eBook. It’s vital to know, our marriages are pictures of God’s relationship to people. Jesus and the church are the bridegroom and the bride. When we love our wives as Christ loved the church, we’re not just “setting a good example for our kids”. We’re showing God’s love to everyone around us. Our marriages are a living, breathing embodiment of the gospel. When we stain that relationship, we’re robbing others of a chance to see God.
When it comes to the sin of lust, the disengaged dad must be sure he knows God—not simply knows about God. Then, he must learn to continually act in a way that demonstrates he knows God. Remember the Pharisees knew a ton about God. Satan knows God. Knowledge of God isn’t enough.
The disengaged dad says: “I want it and will do anything to get it.”
How can a dad eliminate the sin of lust?
For the disengaged dad to eliminate this sin, he must do what he needs to do to eliminate most sin—love God more than the sin.
1. Stay away.
We are often so desensitized to this sin, we don’t see it creep in. The Bible tells us to, “Flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness” in 2 Timothy 2:22. In Romans 13:14, we see, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no plans to satisfy the fleshly desires.”
2. Run away.
Say no and remove yourself from it immediately. You may only have nanoseconds to decide to flee. Like Joseph running away from Potiphar’s wife, we must be ready to run. Let’s be honest, this sin doesn’t usually sneak up on us—unless we want it too.
3. Run to God.
Running away or saying no will not do. Lust is often positioned as something for us to defend against. But we must go on offense. You can’t win a football game with only defense. At some point, you will need to score points.
How do we play offense? In our worship. What’s in our minds? What has our eye seen? What have our ears heard? If these things aren’t from God, many times they spur lust.
The more you know God, the less you will desire sin. The less you know God, the more you will desire sin. Running to God will ultimately mean worship. Someone once said, sweep or clean the house. Write a song. Knock something off your to-do list. Sometimes this is the most immediate way to eliminate the sin. If nothing else, it’ll buy you time in the short-term until you can fight the battle more long-term with worship and knowing God.
As we put off the sin of lust let’s learn to guard our hearts.
Scripture for eliminating lust
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I will not set anything worthless before my eyes. I hate the practice of transgression; it will not cling to me. A devious heart will be far from me; be involved with evil. —Psalm 101:3-4
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How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping Your word. —Psalm 119:9
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You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. —Matthew 5:27-28
Prayer for eliminating lust
Dear God, would you please free me from the chains of lust. Teach me to guard my heart. Guide me in the way everlasting. Amen.
All sin kills. What is lust killing in your life? Biblical fatherhood recognizes the sin. Fight lust in your heart. Fight lust in your home. What your child sees in you will be replicated. Be the example that maybe you didn’t have growing up. Be a godly father for your child.
We dig deeper into the 7 Deadly Sins of a Disengaged Dad in the full eBook.
For each sin, in the full eBook, we help you:
The deadly sin of lust is there for the taking. But, so is God’s grace. You can be a godly father who leads without regrets.
Question >
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being, “What is this lust you speak of?” and 10 being, “I just looked at porn and need help.” where would you rank yourself regarding the sin of lust? If you need to talk, email me or tweet @ManhoodJourney.
