“How do I overcome lust?” Words like this come to my email inbox all too frequently. To be honest, it’s why I put my email in most of my posts. Sure, you won’t click like, share or comment on a post about porn. But I see your clicks—and I read your emails.
Now, I’ve tweaked this readers’ words for privacy. But, as I was writing my reply, it hit me. This isn’t from one guy out on an island—struggling all by himself. This is from the church-goin’ husband and dad. This could be you. This could be me.
Satan is real and he loves the dark and silent. So let’s shed light and not keep the sin of lust quiet. God is also real. He loves you and is more powerful than this or any sin. Let’s get to work.
Since writing the 7 Deadly Sins of a Disengaged Dad eBook, my thoughts have been confirmed. Dads struggle with sin. Well, duh, right? Great, you have a pulse. You sin. End of story.
Not so quick—here’s the deal. While we struggle with all sin in general, some sins have more dire consequences. Gluttony is sin. And as much as it can wreak havoc on a life and points to many issues related to greed, the overweight dad—generally speaking—isn’t at risk of losing his wife and family over too many trips to the buffet.
In this post, I want to give you the answers I gave the dad who emailed me. My hope is you’ll find this post a helpful reminder and have something you can share with a brother you know who’s struggling to overcome lust.
Here’s the email I received about the sin of lust (revised for privacy).
Early in my life I was exposed to porn and given approval by father telling my mother, “he’s no punk, what do you expect”. I heard that conversation and ran with it. At the time, I was craving my dad’s approval and attention. I became addicted to porn as a result. In 20XX, my current wife learned I was looking at porn. …. In 20XX, instead of porn, it became real. I had an affair. I didn’t tell her (wife), but she found out. We have been separated since then. My question is I find myself looking at women, what should I do? —Dad
Here’s my reply of combatting the sin of lust:
First, thank you for your email. I appreciate your openness and honesty in sharing and emailing me. As you already know from experience, this sin isn’t a Do-these-5-things-and-be-free-of-the-sin type issue. It’s a heart issue—a lifestyle issue.
That said, you are correct to look to Scripture. I’ll give you a few Scriptures to meditate on that will help overcome lust. Beyond this, my encouragement would be to do the following things in hopes of changing your lifestyle so much that God ultimately changes your mind and heart:
#1 Memorize God’s Word.
Make small memory cards and carry them around with you. Med