Have you ever had this conversation with your child?

You: “How was your day?”

Him: “Fine.”

You sit there wondering why you can’t get more out of him!

You might even complain to your wife, “See! He just won’t talk to me!”

I may be the first to tell you this, and if I am, I’m sorry. But, I must deliver some bad news: Your question stinks. It’s a boring question that commands none of their mental energy.

You deserve the answer “Fine”.

You may gripe about your child’s inability to string two coherent sentences together. But, I want you to consider coming at it from a different angle.

Right now, I’m going to ask you to focus on one thing: the portion of your communication “disconnect” that you can control.

If you only pick up one new skill from this blog post, commit yourself to asking great questions of your kids.

 


 

Question: Could you be the reason your child isn’t connected to you?

 


 

““The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” —Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)

Kent Evans discusses (Video 4:23)

The above video is a snippet from The Connected Father digital course—full of videos, podcasts, eBooks, tip sheets and bonus resources to help you be the dad who leads with no regrets. Snag the full course at The Connected Father.

Sure, your child might be introverted, angry, too cool for school, or have some other communication disorder.

But, the vast majority of dads I know who say their kids won’t open up to them are usually either the “no-talking” dad or the “field-general” dad – they either say nothing at all most of the time, or they just bark out orders.

I think a large percentage of your communication disconnects are within your control. I’d argue it’s a majority, maybe as much as 80% or even 90%