The memory is still raw, despite so long ago. Hard to believe that something so simple seemed so insurmountable at the time. I was shocked and afraid that someone who loved me so much might silently mock me in her mind, or see my feeble effort as weak. The mental toughness I had to muster in order to pray with my wife was absurd, given how simple the task was.
Question: When’s the last time you prayed with your wife?
Looking back, I’m not sure anything I have ever done in my life required more psyching up. I love sports and I’ve been nervous many times before big games. I’ve been married for 19 years, and my wedding day jitters didn’t compare to this! Even three kids—and seeing them born—was not this nerve-racking. I was absolutely scared to death.
Aside from my incredible anxiousness, there were driving thoughts that raced through my head:
- I don’t know what to say.
- What will she think of me?
- What if she sees me as a wuss?
- I didn’t know what words or phrases I’m supposed to use.
- What if I say something wrong?
I prayed with my wife anyway
Despite the fears, worries, voices, I macheted through the anxiety because I knew God was asking for faithful obedience. To this day, I’ve never been more fearful than the time I asked my wife if she would pray with me—out loud—before bed—just the two of us.
I’ve never been more fearful than the time I asked my wife if she would pray with me—out loud—before bed—just the two of us.
And then what happened?
That was roughly 16 years ago, and it is far and away the most pivotal moment in our marriage and family. It was a crucial turning point. Prayer continues to be THE significant work in our lives.
This simple step changed my walk with Christ forever. I learned that strength is God-provided, not self-created. I learned that deep inside, my wife longed for her husband to take a leadership position that he didn’t know he should be taking, and that she didn’t quite understand was pining for him to take.
What God has done in and through our family and home since that pivotal moment has been nothing short of miraculous. One single step of faithful obedience has led to restoration in our hearts and minds spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, financially, professionally and charitably. Immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine.
Forgotten, but not really.
I don’t remember what I prayed that night. Frankly, the only voice I remember was Satan’s telling me I sounded like a jackass. (Satan’s words not mine.) Sorry, but that’s the truth. I heard those words loud and clear as if somebody was audibly whispering in my ear. But I didn’t stop. I let God do what He does through what little strength I had.
Husbands, it doesn’t matter what you say, she’s not gonna remember. Just do it. Keep doing it. Both of you will never be the same. Pray with your wife every day. Be strong and take heart, be courageous.
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