Giving up the my dad is my hero idea.

I want to cover a delicate fatherhood subject, the “My dad is my hero” idea. But, man, when I do, I’m on a slippery slope. It’s one that I could communicate wrongly or you could interpret wrongly. I have to be careful.

First, let’s establish a baseline.

In our country, there are far too few fathers who are engaged with their families. Manhood Journey and Father On Purpose are all a reaction to father absence. We have a serious disengaged and absentee dad problem. Dads do not take their discipleship role seriously.

Having said that, there’s a danger in going to the other extreme. The other extreme is what I call the “My dad is my hero” syndrome. Here’s what I want you to see. I want you to see how tempting and how dangerous it can be for us to set ourselves up as the hero for our children.

“Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.” —Psalm 146:3

Giving up the “my dad is my hero” idea.

So, to be clear, I’m a fan of anything that pulls fathers closer to their families, and anything that pulls kids closer to their dads.

Psalm 146:2-5 says:

I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
3 Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.
4 When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish.
5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God…

Here’s our job as dads:

Our job as dads is to be an example.
Our job as dads is to be engaged.
Our job as dads is to disciple our kids.
Our job as dads is to have our kids grow up and see us as faithful men of God.

However, we can over-tweak this as dads. As we work to step up and be godly dads, we can fall prey to a dangerous fathering philosophy that will do more harm than good.

Give up the “my dad is my hero” idea—and replace it with what?

We can work to become our kids’ heroes. We set ourselves up as THE MAN and the best example in their lives. What’s going to happen? You and I know, one day, we’re going to fail them. And, when we fail them, they will be lost and confused because — where did their hero go?

We aren’t supposed to be their HERO.

Our job as a dad is to point our kids to their hero. Only Jesus is the hero. We must connect our kids to their hero—not become one.

Psalm 146:3 says “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.”

I don’t want to be my kids’ hero. I want to be a faithful example. I think of Paul in the New Testament who says, “Follow me. As I follow Christ.” So sure, I want to be a great example for my boys. But I don’t want to be their hero. It’s too much pressure. It’s not my job. It’s outside of the biblical alignment we see in Psalm 146.

Your Mission

Ask your kids who their favorite superhero is. Find out why. This should be a fun discussion. Then, tell your kids about Psalm 146. Make sure they know you do not want to be their hero.