As our kids go through various life stages, we help them learn relevant skills. When they’re young, they need to know to look both ways before crossing the street. As preteens, they need to get their schoolwork done. As young men and women, they need to learn how to interview for a job or spend within their means. But, all along the way, and especially as they leave our homes, what they desperately need is wisdom. Godly wisdom. The wisdom from above, as James put it. I love the verse in Proverbs 29:3, “A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father…”. When my boys choose wisdom, they bring me joy. They may be wrestling with scripture, avoiding bad influences (see the second half of the verse) or learning to be generous with their money. When they’re exhibiting wisdom in these ways, it brings me great joy. One of my sons made a decision recently to invite someone into his life to force him to grow in a specific area. He could’ve taken the easy road, but he chose the harder, more wise path. It gave me great joy.

Becoming a better husband is easier than you think: Want to be a better husband? Ask your wife for her input on the subject. Go straight to the source. Check-in with the occasional Hey, how am I doing as a husband? What could I work on to be better? When you’re done crying from all her feedback, you’ll have some real insight on steps you can take to improve in the husband category.

Can you humbly admit your role in the problem? It’s easy to blame challenges with our kids on every other factor but our own actions. Many of our issues at home boil down to a lack of communication. As dads, we make things worse by constantly telling and rarely asking. You tell your little kids everything. Go to bed. Put that down. Stop it. “Kenny, don’t paint your sister.” But, especially for teens, this approach backfires. Let’s admit we are telling when we should be asking, and grow together in this area.

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; Fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato

“The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.” – Chuck Swindoll

Commend your kids’ wisdom. In the last day, week or maybe decade, you’ve seen one of your children make a wise choice. At least one, right? If you look, you can probably spot dozens of them. Go tell them you noticed and that it brought you joy. Shoot them a text if they’re out of town. Maybe it was a big life decision or just a small daily choice. Regardless of size, let them know you saw it. Tell them you are proud of them for their wise decision. While you’re at it, resist the temptation to also mention the not-so-wise ones!

Kent Evans
Author of The Manhood Journey, co-founder of Manhood Journey and Father On Purpose.

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.