Let’s face it . . . we live in a culture where putting others first never comes naturally. If left to our own devices, even the most godly men are tempted to look out for themselves. Thanks to our broken, sinful nature, selflessness is a rare commodity. Even when we make the choice to put others first, we’re usually doing it for our own benefit, anticipating a payoff or payback for being “Mr. Nice Guy.”
Yet, selflessness and service is exactly the life Jesus called His people to embrace and model. When a religious leader asked the Lord to name the greatest commandment, He immediately emphasized loving God with all we have. But in His next breath, Jesus said loving our neighbors is just as important (Matthew 22:34-40).
If loving God is Rule No. 1 for believers, then putting others first is basically Rule 1a.
What’s the big deal?
As we said, serving others is a big deal for Jesus. But the fact that He commanded us to put others first is not the only reason we should embrace selflessness. I can think of two additional reasons.
First, putting others first helps us give the world a better picture of who Jesus really is. After all, He defined His life and mission on earth in terms of service. In Mark 10:45, He said that He didn’t come to be served, but to serve others. And that service includes giving His life on the cross to provide salvation for the world.
When we put others first, we are modeling Christlike sacrifice. We’re giving people a clear picture of Jesus, which makes it easier to share why they need Him.
Second, putting other people first improves our human connections. Make no mistake, God created us in His image and that includes living in relationship with others. We need one another to get through this life. But relationships are a two-way street, so we can’t just worry about ourselves. We’ve got to practice selfless actions and attitudes.
Healthy returns require investments. Or, as my high school coach used to say, “What goes around, comes around.” Jesus said something similar in the Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7).
They all emphasize why we need to put others ahead of ourselves.
Making It Happen
It’s probably safe to assume that all of us agree that putting others first is great—at least in theory. We know Jesus expects it. We recognize the impact it can have on the world. And we can see how it would strengthen our relationships.
Practicing selflessness in real life, though, is much harder. Our heads may be nodding “yes,” but our hands and feet aren’t sure which direction to take. That’s natural. And that’s why I try to break it down into three basic steps.
First, you pray about putting others first. Again, selflessness doesn’t come naturally, so you’re going to need some supernatural support to make it real. Your ways are not God’s ways, and your thoughts are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). You’re going to need the Holy Spirit’s help in learning to imitate that Christlike sacrifice mentioned earlier.
Thankfully, God has promised that we can ask Him when we lack wisdom in any area of life (James 1:5). And that includes putting others first.
Next, you need to look actively for opportunities to put others first. Because we live in such a me-focused, self-absorbed society, most of us aren’t intentional about finding ways to serve. We’re minding our own business; and, as a result, we miss doors that God opens right in front of our noses. But as you start praying about selflessness, you’ll become more sensitive to God’s work around you.
In Field of Dreams, the voice told Ray Kinsella, “If you build it, he will come.” Putting others first works in a similar way. If you’re sincerely looking to put others before yourself, the opportunities will come.
Finally, you’ve got to actually put others first. You’ve got to take what you’ve learned out of the “classroom” and be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world. In his epistle, James drew a distinction between hearing God’s Word and doing God’s Word (James 1:22-25). What’s more, Jesus contrasted His kingdom people (sheep) with unbelievers (goats) based on how they ministered to “the least of these brothers and sisters of mine” (Matthew 25:31-46).
Ultimately, Jesus is going to judge us by how we respond to Him, but we demonstrate that genuine faith in how we treat others. When it comes to modeling selflessness and Christlike sacrifice, good intentions aren’t good enough. God will open the doors. You’ve got to walk through them.
The Next Generation
Here’s a fact research proves time and again: Dads are powerful teachers. But that research is just backing up what God has been teaching His people for thousands of years. Fathers are called to serve as the primary spiritual mentors of their homes.
Our kids are going to learn from us, for good or bad. So, if we want them to learn how to put others first, we’ve got to set the example. We need to live it out in tangible ways and explain why we’re doing it.
Are you going to get it right every time? Absolutely not. You’re not always going to have the right answers. You’re going to fall short more than once. But if you truly learn to see people the way Jesus sees them and love them the way He loves them, you’ll find ways to put others first. And your kids will see it.
And you’ll build a legacy of selflessness that can last for generations.
