How to Communicate Better With Your Grown Son

Many dads often look at their adult sons and think, “Where did the time go? My son is grown up! He grew up so fast!” The memory of cheering your son on as he took his first steps, paired with today’s reality that he’s an adult, makes time seem like it rockets by. Even though life doesn’t literally move that fast, learning to communicate better with your grown son is a task that tends to zip past us, and our relationship with them pays for it if we don’t keep up.

Connecting with your adult son can’t mirror how you related to him at age five or even sixteen. He’s older, his interests have likely changed, and so have his communication styles. You’ve changed over time, too, even in the slightest way. Some of your past methods of connecting with him may still work, but in most cases, it’s outdated due to him growing up.

If connecting with your son and having healthy communication with him has never been your strong suit, no worries. It’s never too late to start, but being willing to see him as your adult son rather than your little son is a great place to start.

Here Are 4 Simple Thoughts to Consider When Communicating With Your Son

1. Communicate and Engage Relative to His Personality & Current Life Status

No matter how old your son gets, you’ll always want to communicate better with him. He will especially need your guidance now that he’s an adult. However, make it a goal to notice what he likes, what his demands of life and responsibilities are, what interests he may follow on social media, and what his schedule looks like typically. Understand what motivates him. Use specific details about your son to help you figure out the when, where, and how you engage with him to help guide him in a way he is attracted to. He’ll more likely stay along that path.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

2. Actively Listen to the Stories He Shares

Depending on how you usually communicate better with your grown son, it may be rare that he shares and opens a window into his personal life. When he does, actively communicate better with your son by listening and remembering the small details he mentions. If you don’t like what you hear, be very slow to get angry, as that may ruin peaceful communication with him.

James 1:19 – Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God

3. Seek Genuine Opportunities to Encourage

Aim to find every opportunity to communicate better with your son by encouraging him. Make sure he knows that you’re proud to be his dad. Try to be more of an encourager rather than a discourager. Even when you have to correct them, don’t do it in a way that makes them bitter.

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

4. Love Your Son Because Love Conquers All

Communicating better with your grown son through the highs and lows is a gift exemplified by God to us, and it truly conquers all. You can never go wrong by replicating the never-ending love your Heavenly Father has for you to your son.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 – Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Communication With a Grown Son is Hard

Deciding to pursue healthy communication with your son is a great investment, and it shows you care just by finding yourself in this article. Great communication with your son not only impact him, but also your grandkids, great-grandkids, every generation after, and everyone around him.

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Communication is hard, and when communicating with someone you helped create or even raise into adulthood, the challenge is layered. Therefore, this endeavor shouldn’t be embarked without prayer and inviting Jesus to lead you.

As you embrace the rich experience of bonding with your adult son, welcome the challenge that it may bring. Even if they don’t mention it, having a dad that pursues good communication with his son is a memory your child will always remember and an effort God will see.