Do you know how to find mentors? Here’s my big guess: MAYBE.

Maybe you do—and you just don’t do it.

Or, maybe you don’t know how. Either way, most of us need to cut through the junk that’s holding us behind and find guys willing to pour into us and encourage us.

Let me share one way I’ve found helpful to seek mentors in my life.



Question: When was the last time you approached another guy and ask for his input?




“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” —Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)

Kent Evans discusses the strategy for finding mentors (Video 3:27)

The above video is a snippet from The Connected Father digital course—full of videos, podcasts, eBooks, tip sheets and bonus resources to help you be the dad who leads with no regrets. Snag the full course at The Connected Father.

Get mentors.

At this point, I run the risk of making you very suspicious of me. I must mention a topic that yes, I actually wrote a book on. Maybe you’ll view this strategy as a shameless plug for my book – and, I’ll understand if you do.

Even so, I wrote the book for a reason! I think it can help you on this point! I know. An author who thinks his book is helpful. So original.

But, here’s my premise: most guys do not have any mentoring component in their lives.

Their own fathers didn’t do it.

They don’t like or trust their boss.

They don’t really know their preacher, and might see him as a meddler anyway.

So, they’ve isolated themselves on their Man Island, hoping no one spots them and arrives on the shore.

Maybe you’re the exception to this rule. If you’d like a quick test to see if you are – here it is.

Ask yourself this question: “When was the last time you approached another guy and said something like, ‘Hey Frank, I noticed you are really great at (…golf, marriage, finances, fantasy football drafting…). I’d like to get better in that area. Would you mind if I bought you a cup of coffee sometime and picked your brain?’”

If your answer is “Never!” or “Who on earth would do something so stupid?!”, then congratulations, you’re like most guys.

If you can think of a time when you’ve done this, you’re in the top 10%. If you do it regularly, you’re a mentor-seeking role model.


Mentors help you see around corners and tell you the things that nobody else will.


Go find some guys who at least appear to be good dads and buy them a cup of coffee (or a few dozen…). I won’t go on and on about this point. I already did that in my book. Feel free to snag the first chapter for free here, if you’d like to be a master mentor finder!


If you want to be a Connected Dad, find mentors who can pour into you, challenge you, and encourage you – take the first step.


Ask yourself: When was the last time you approached another guy and ask for his input? Tweet @manhoodjourney or email.  



About the author: Kent Evans

 kent-headshot-roundKent Evans is the Co-founder and Executive Director of  Manhood Journey. Kent’s the author of Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You. He and his wife April have five sons and live in Louisville, Kentucky. Follow him @akentevans.

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