As a husband, you’ve made a vow to love and serve your wife. When it comes to being a dad, you’re committed to building a relationship with your kids that will resonate for years. As a man, you long to prosper in every area of life.
And, as a Christ follower, you’re striving to develop the kind of discipleship characteristics that please your heavenly Father and point others toward Jesus. In fact, if you can get the discipleship characteristics right, those other areas are more likely to fall into place.
Why Discipleship Matters
We live in a world that never gives us the whole story. That’s especially true when it comes to being a man. Instead of supporting the roles of guys in families and society, our culture sends mixed messages. And the confusion has had devastating effects.
But Christianity views manhood through a different lens, a discipleship lens. As a Christ follower, your value and success are not measured by any human standard. The “well done” that awaits you is based on discipleship, allowing the Holy Spirit to make you more like Jesus.
That means our measuring stick is grounded in the discipleship characteristics we live out each day. A disciple is a student, a learner. So, the closer we draw to Jesus, the better our lives reflect His life. That’s true success, and that’s why discipleship matters.
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
Seven Discipleship Characteristics for Dads
God’s Word perfectly reflects God’s character, so we should be searching the Scriptures to identify the character traits of a disciple. From the Bible, we also can consider how those discipleship characteristics translate into practical application.
The list below includes seven vital characteristics of a disciple. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it is relevant to who we are as men and to our roles as fathers. In fact, these qualities go a long way toward defining our wins and losses as men and as dads. So, we need to weave them into the fabric of our lives.
1. A disciple follows Jesus.
You can’t be a disciple unless you have a personal relationship with Jesus. It seems obvious, but that doesn’t make it untrue. Your first responsibility as a man and as a dad is to establish and nurture your own relationship with Jesus. After all, you can’t guide your kids somewhere you’ve never traveled yourself.
By the way, true disciples also focus on making more disciples (Matthew 29:18-20; Acts 1:8). As a dad, this has tremendous significance for your home. You are the best witness your kids could ever have. But it starts with your own walk with Christ.
2. A disciple studies God’s Word.
Disciples are diligent students. In a letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul challenged his young friend to invest time and energy into being a faithful student of God’s Word (2 Timothy 2:15). Among discipleship characteristics, the value of studying the Bible—along with prayer—can’t be overstated.
Plus, digging into Scripture has added benefits. Fathers who know God’s Word aren’t nearly as intimidated by the “tough questions” their sons and daughters might raise. They have a deep spiritual fountain from which to draw, a fountain that originates at the throne of God.
3. A disciple cares about others.
When it comes to discipleship characteristics, a lot of it is about your journey with Jesus. But you can’t escape your responsibility to love others well (John 13:34). In fact, Jesus said that genuine love is how the world will distinguish His followers from everyone else (John 13:35).
As you might expect, this starts with family, including your children. As a father, you are responsible for their needs. If you ignore that truth, you’re reflecting the attitudes of a fallen and broken culture instead of reflecting Christ (1 Timothy 5:8). Society has seen enough damage from men who have abdicated their role as a dad. Let them see the discipleship characteristic of caring shine through you.
4. A disciple has a mentor and is a mentor.
The stereotype for guys is the self-made man, the one who pulls himself up by his own bootstraps. The trouble is, that stereotype has nothing to do with genuine manhood. And it falls well short of the character traits of true disciples.
The apostle Paul was one of the greatest men of God in history. He was an incredible preacher, set the standard for Christian missionaries, and wrote almost half of the New Testament. But here’s something we tend to forget: Paul had Barnabas, and Paul had Timothy. Every man needs an experienced mentor and a younger mentee. One keeps you grounded in your past, while the other lets you invest in the future (2 Timothy 2:2). That’s how the church has grown for more than 2,000 years, and it’s still important today.
5. A disciple performs good works and challenges others to do the same.
Let’s be clear, good works have no power to save anyone. That was a lie many heretics in the early church tried to peddle, and we’re still tempted to fall for it today. But the Bible makes it clear that we are saved by faith, not works (Ephesians 2:8-9).
But that doesn’t mean good works aren’t important for Jesus’s disciples. Right after affirming salvation by faith, Paul noted that believers are created for good works (Ephesians 2:10) because good works point people toward God. So, godly men build spiritual muscle through good works—and, as the anonymous writer of Hebrews noted, we should spur others to good works as well (Hebrews 10:24). As a dad, this looks like teaching your kids how to serve others by serving others with them.
6. A disciple understands the power of contentment.
In Philippians, Paul made an incredible statement about an important characteristic of disciples. He said that he had learned how to be content—regardless of his circumstances (Philippians 4:11-12). In good times and bad, Paul could honestly say that he was grateful and satisfied.
That sounds like a message from another planet in our materialistic culture, but contentment is not some mysterious mindset. Instead, it’s the result of absolute trust in God and dependence on His provision. Allowing God to remain in control of every circumstance is a great discipleship quality to develop—and to pass down to your kids.
7. A disciple forgives.
I saved this one for last because, frankly, it may be the hardest discipleship characteristic to master. In a nutshell, forgiveness doesn’t come naturally. We need God’s supernatural help to make it happen.
It also helps to remember that our forgiveness of others should mirror God’s forgiveness of us (Ephesians 4:32; Matthew 18:21-35). As a dad, you’ve got to be humble enough to seek forgiveness from your kids when necessary and merciful enough to offer forgiveness when they need it. That’s how this discipleship characteristic shapes fatherhood.
Take Discipleship One-Step-At-A-Time
As I mentioned, this list is not exhaustive. The Christian life literally takes a lifetime to nurture. Even then, you’ll never know it all. So, cut yourself a little slack.
Yes, you have a responsibility to develop discipleship characteristics in your life and to apply them within your family. But you’re going to fall short at times. You’ll never pitch a perfect game this side of heaven. So, when you mess up, lean into God’s grace and keep moving forward.
The decision to allow the qualities of discipleship to define your life and fatherhood is an incredible first step. From here on, it’s just putting one spiritual foot in front of the other, taking one step at a time.
Not sure where you’re headed as a dad? Take the Godly Father Assessment to see now.
