If I know one thing from my experience as a dad, I know this: If you’re trying to be intentional, you’re going to face obstacles. As a Christian father, understand there’s a vein of comfort and complacency running through most of these obstacles that we must identify and destroy. In this installment of Identify and Destroy we will be looking at the delegation obstacle and how it affects us as godly dads.
Does one of these obstacles sound like you?
- The Ignorance Obstacle > “I didn’t know it was my job.”
- The Inertia Obstacle > “I don’t know where to start.”
- The Delegation Obstacle > “I’ll let someone else do it.”
- The Guilt Obstacle > “Who am I to talk?”
- The Procrastination Obstacle > “I’ve got plenty of time.”
- The Despair Obstacle > “My kid’s too far gone.”
We’ve talked about The Ignorance Obstacle and The Inertia Obstacle. Now, let’s talk about The Delegation Obstacle. In this post, we’ll cover how it sounds, how it interferes, how to remove it and how Scripture can help us overcome it.
How the Obstacle Sounds
The delegation obstacle sounds like this: “I’ll let someone else do it.”
How the Obstacle Interferes
There are two types of people we try to put in the discipleship driver’s seat:
- Our Spouses: We let our wife do everything. We figure, since she knows more, grew up in the church, or just because she has more time with the kids, she can run point. This approach works deceptively well when the kids are under 10 years old. But, the early fruit of a mom-led-well-behaved child can feed a father’s complacency.
- The Professionals: We expect the Christian school teacher, youth pastor or camp counselor to guide our child spiritually. We think these “professionals” have training and expertise that somehow trumps our God-given assignment.
As with most misguided ideas, there are hints of truth in them:
- Our wives are amazing tutors, encouraging leaders, decisive disciplinarians and careful character coaches.
- I attend an awesome church with a roster full of talented pastors and staff from the kid’s ministry teachers to the directors and volunteers. They set an amazing example and spur my kids on.
Even so, no one else has the God-ordained responsibility of raising my children. Dad, as long as we’re alive, it’s our job to intentionally raise godly sons.
Trust me, I understand. Some Sunday’s there’s relief when I check-in my kids for children’s church. This can be a healthy thing for everyone involved. Don’t hear me say you have to volunteer every Sunday and follow behind your kids each hour.
But, there’s a problem. Comfort can creep up on us if we never disciple our children. We must be vigilant to do what Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says with the commandments and, “Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Can you see how the delegation obstacle interferes with being a godly dad?
How to Remove The Obstacle
1) Get mentored: It’s a whole lot easier for my children to submit to my mentorship when they know I’m doing the same with other men. Don’t have anyone to help you be intentional? Get started with our father and son Bible studies.
2) Audit regularly: Depending on the age and stage of your son, regularly ask about content, direction, and discussions he’s having at school, church and other events.
3) Capture moments: Take every momentary opportunity to discuss, challenge and encourage. My oldest is 10 years old. Lately, it’s worked well to have a standing, early Saturday morning time where I connect at Starbucks and rundown the previous week. I understand this is a season and I’ll need to pivot later. But, these moments can happen during errands or to and from birthday parties. Redeem the travel time in the car with intentional conversation and you win at biblical fathering.
How Scripture Helps Us Overcome the Obstacle
“Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children; but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” —Ephesians 6:4
“My son, keep your father’s command, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching. Always bind them to your heart; tie them around your neck.” —Proverbs 6:20-21
Now that we know how The Delegation Obstacle sounds, how it interferes, how to remove it and how Scripture helps, we can start building the next generation of godly men. We’ll unpack more obstacles in future posts, so join us by grabbing your free eBook Identify and Destroy. Let’s walk this journey together.
Now what? Let’s start by knowing the obstacles and learning how to remove them. We’ll unpack the six most common obstacles in the coming weeks, but grab your copy of Identify and Destroy and get to work. We’ll be right beside you on your journey.
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