Boys without fathers in their homes face more obstacles than sons who have a solid and stable dad in their lives. That makes the battle for fatherhood even more important. After all, we’re not just fighting for this generation of dads—we’re fighting for future generations as well.
Dads matter. That’s a fact of life, regardless of the image popular media might try to create. Research continues to prove that fathers make a difference in our culture, especially in the lives of their sons.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Starting from behind
A while back, I went to see a young man in our church’s student ministry play in a high school basketball game. During pre-game warmups, his team was called for a technical foul. That meant the other team got to shoot two free throws before a second even went off the clock.
It turned out to be a nip-and-tuck game throughout. And while my friend’s team ended up winning, those two free throws at the beginning of the game represented an extra mountain those guys had to climb to earn the victory.
In a way, that’s a great illustration of boys without fathers in our culture. The absence of a solid father figure in their lives puts them behind before they can really get started. They’re fighting with one arm tied behind their backs. Boys without dads are missing out on so much—and that’s making a huge difference in families, churches, and society.
Numbers don’t lie
As noted, research (both secular and Christian) consistently underscores the importance of dads. For example, absent fathers have a negative impact on daughters because young ladies have no frame of reference for future relationships with men. They simply don’t know what it looks and feels like to have a loving and involved man in their lives.
Meanwhile, boys without healthy father figures have no role models for genuine, biblical manhood. So, when they become fathers, they don’t what to do. Of course, many work their way through those issues and come out stronger on the other side. But others simply continue the pattern of physical or emotional absence because it’s all they know.
Recently, Manhood Journey released our Biblical Fatherhood Impact report. It provides a wealth of information about the struggles boys without fathers face in their lives, and how you can play a role in reversing this devastating trend. Among the research-based facts noted, the booklet highlights these facts:
Boys without fathers are more likely to engage in premarital sex.
The lack of a father figure means sons may struggle see a biblical marriage or understand biblical principles for sexual intimacy. Since nature abhors a vacuum, many fatherless boys simply define their ideas about sex using what they see in the culture, rather than what is revealed in God’s Word.
When dad is missing, boys are less likely to plug into church.
Again, this is not a universal principle since many godly single moms are working hard to provide spiritual nurture for their sons. However, boys are much more likely to attend church and develop a “sticky” faith if their fathers are present in the home and attend church with them.
Boys with absent dads are more likely to live in poverty.
In general, homes led by single mothers do not earn the income of homes where both parents are present. While poverty itself can create real problems for boys without fathers, it also has been associated with other negative social behaviors, such as poor school performance and crime.
Boys with no father are more likely to spend time in jail.
Strong connections to fathers have been shown to discourage young men from participating in illegal activities. Whether it’s the discipline of a caring authority figure or the example in making better choices, the presence of stable father figures help prevent crime and incarceration.
The Impact of Boys with Fathers
In contrast to the dangers faced by boys without fathers, the active and caring presence of a father in a young man’s life can be transformational. The negative impact of fatherlessness can be reversed by the efforts of committed dads—whether he’s a new father-to-be who just found out his wife was expecting or an empty nester learning how to relate to adult sons.
The difference that fathers make can be measured by a young man’s attitude and lifestyle changes:
A move from drifting to being discipled.
Leaning into a biblical worldview, dads can fulfill their calling as spiritual mentors and help their kids nurture a moral compass defined by the eternal, unchanging Word of God.
A move from unguarded to protected.
Nothing speaks louder in the life of a boy than security. While boys without fathers struggle to find that security, dads who are present and appropriately protective give their sons a priceless gift.
A move from confused to confident.
For many sons without stable father figures, growing up raises hundreds of questions with no reliable source for answers. But young men who can rely on their fathers have an easier time finding those answers, which allows them to approach the challenges of life with assurance and boldness.
A move from angry to content.
Confusion and the lack of stability that comes from the absence of fathers often produces fear and frustration. These manifest themselves most often by handling problems with anger. However, the presence of a father figure can reduce a boy’s internal tension. In addition, a dad can guide him through ways to identify and address emotions in a healthier way.
A move from criticized to encouraged.
Even when fathers are physically present, they can create distance through their negative words. Boys long for the affirmation and blessing of their dads. They need to know that he loves them and is proud of them. Boys without fathers consistently struggle with being “good enough,” while fathers who are present can offer a legacy of encouragement that will last for generations.
A move from unsettled to peaceful.
True peace is rooted in a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. As one might expect, that kind of relationship with a heavenly Father is more difficult to embrace for boys who feel abandoned by their earthly fathers. But fathers who are caring, active, and involved provide a better (if imperfect) reflection of God the Father. This makes receiving the peace only God can provide much more likely.
Where you can turn
For more than a decade now, Manhood Journey has been working to help fathers connect with God and become disciple makers. You can learn more about the battle for genuine, biblical fatherhood by downloading our Biblical Fatherhood Impact report.
You also can learn more about being a better husband and father through the resources offered on the Manhood Journey website. The site provides free resources like articles, Bible reading plans, and the Father on Purpose podcast. You can also find books and Bible studies for sale.
Above all, wherever you are in your battle for fatherhood, remember two things. First, know that the battle is worth the effort. It will make a difference in your life and the life of your son. Second, you are never alone. God is with you, and so are many like-minded men and ministries who can support you along the way.
Are you ready to be the dad God called you to be? Take the Godly Father Assessment to see how you’re doing and where you can improve as a father!
