How to Overcome Lust: 7 Strategies for Men

It’s called the “law of diminishing returns.” Simply put, it means that the more you’re exposed to something exciting, the more of it you need to maintain the pleasure it produces. It’s a devastating cycle, and it’s a prime obstacle in learning how to overcome lust in your life.

For example, let’s say you surf the internet for pornography and find a spot that provides a measure of satisfaction. The more you visit that site, the less it produces the feelings you crave. That means you either have to stay there longer or find another site that gives you a stronger “hit” of pleasure.

As you can guess, this can escalate into a never-ending treadmill of sinful and unhealthy behavior. And that’s why it’s important to understand how you can overcome lust before it drags you past a point of no return.

Key Takeaways

Overcoming lust begins with recognizing your need for God’s help and refusing to fight the battle alone.
Bible study and prayer provide the foundation for seeing lust through God’s eyes and building spiritual strength.
Accountability with godly men is essential to break secrecy, build encouragement, and maintain integrity.
Avoiding temptation and actively pursuing purity work together to crowd out sinful desires and renew the mind.
Walking in purity is a lifelong process that requires consistent steps of obedience, trust in God’s promises, and dependence on His power.

Victory Is Possible

On the surface, it might feel like the challenge of overcoming lust is too great. But if you’re feeling like David facing a giant without his slingshot, that’s actually a good place. It means you recognize you cannot win this battle alone.

While temptation is a fact of life in this broken world, Christian men can learn how to overcome lust in their lives. The Bible says that no temptation we face is too big for God to help us overcome (1 Corinthians 10:13). He offers an escape if we will seek His help.

It’s also good to remember that Jesus has faced every tempting situation we could imagine—and He navigated them all without sin (Hebrews 4:15). And because He understands, we can come to Him and learn how to fight lust.

Taking Action

Of course, Jesus is the perfect, sinless Son of God. We’re not. To the contrary, we’re a spiritual mess. We stumble more than we sprint, and we fail more than we care to admit. But while we aren’t God, we do have His Holy Spirit to guide us and protect us. We also have His Word, which is filled with practical ideas for battling every sin.

Here are seven Bible-based strategies for defeating lust, along with a prayer to help you approach God’s throne about each action.

1. Practice Bible study and prayer.

The best way to overcome lustful thoughts and actions is to see the issue through God’s eyes. But you can only do that when you spend time with Him. That makes Bible study and prayer vital.

The psalmist said that he was committed to keeping His way pure, but he also acknowledged that this was only possible if he lived according to God’s Word (Psalm 119:9). He went on to say that treasuring God’s Word was the key to staying on the right path (Psalm 119:11). Centuries later, Jesus said that we could ask anything in His name, and He would grant it. That’s the power of prayer (John 14:13-14).

Father, thank You for speaking to me through Your Word and for allowing me to speak to You through prayer. Plant these practices, along with other important spiritual disciplines, deep so they will guard my heart and bring me life (Proverbs 4:23).

2. Make yourself accountable.

Another thing that makes lust so challenging is that it thrives in secret. It produces shame, which drives guys like us to keep it hidden. But leaning into accountability with other godly men is an important strategy for defeating lust and overcoming lustful thoughts. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” You need mentors and other men to keep you sharp.

It’s been said that sunlight is the best disinfectant. That’s an apt description of accountability among men. Knowing you’ve got to come clean to them will help you stay clean when they aren’t around. Plus, you’ll probably discover that you aren’t alone.

Merciful God, I need You, but I also need the fellowship and encouragement of other men. Surround me with mentors who will ask hard questions and help me make hard decisions. Help me find iron that will keep me sharp.

3. Connect with your wife.

If you’re married, you understand that lust doesn’t go away when you say, “I do.” Husbands struggle with defeating lust just as much as single guys. The difference is that we have someone who can help us fight that battle.

The Bible says that a man who has found a godly wife has found a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). God brought the two of you together to be partners in life (Genesis 2:18), but lust tries to isolate you from those closest to you. So, nurturing a healthy relationship with your wife can make all the difference in the world when it comes to fighting lust.

Lord, thank You for my wife. She is a jewel and better than I deserve. Help me to honor her with my thoughts and my actions. And help me learn to trust her with all of the struggles in my life.

4. Avoid tempting situations.

Mental health experts talk about “triggers.” These are sensory experiences that ignite a reaction in our lives. It could be anger or fear or any number of emotions. The key is to identify your triggers and to avoid exposing yourself to them.

The same is true with overcoming lust. You have to avoid the situations that leave you vulnerable. The classic biblical contrast is between David (who fell into lustful sin with Bathsheba) and Joseph (who ran away from temptation as fast as he could). In the New Testament, Paul told his friend Timothy to follow Joseph’s example and “flee youthful passions” (2 Timothy 2:22). Avoiding lust is a great way to defeat lust.

Heavenly Father, I believe You can help me overcome every temptation. But I also believe that You want me to use common sense and steer clear of situations that I know will lead to trouble. Give me the wisdom and courage to recognize my lustful triggers and to avoid them for your glory.

5. Pursue purity.

Nature abhors a vacuum. In other words, when you take something away, something else will fill its space. That’s why Paul told Timothy to “pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace…” right after he said to flee from tempting situations (2 Timothy 2:22).

In another letter, Paul told the Christians in Philippi to dwell on or think about wholesome and godly things (Philippians 4:8). His list included “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable…” He also added moral excellence and anything praiseworthy.

Your thoughts are governed by what fills your mind, and those thoughts direct your actions. If you pursue purity with all your heart, you won’t have as much room for the impurity that makes it hard to defeat lust.

Dear God, I need You to renew my mind. The world throws so much garbage my way, but I want to fill my heart and mind with the things that honor You. Help me see the trash for what it is—and to keep it away from my life.

6. Write yourself a note.

Several years ago, we had a desktop computer in our home. Since I often worked on writing assignments and school papers late at night, I was on that computer at all hours. So, across the top of the monitor, I taped a note that said, “I love you more.” It was a reminder to me—and a promise to my wife—that I would not let my internet searches lead me where I should never go.

Honestly, I think there’s power in putting things down in writing. Whether it’s a sticky note on the bathroom mirror or a sentence recorded in a journal, writing things down makes it feel more real. In the Old Testament, God told the Israelites to write His words on their doorposts (Deuteronomy 6:9). Later, He commanded both Habakkuk (2:2) and Jeremiah (30:2) to write their prophecies for all to see.

More than half the New Testament is comprised of written letters, and Jesus specifically told John to write down what he saw in the book of Revelation (1:11). Writing things down makes a difference.

Lord, You thought enough of humanity to put Your expectations down in writing for us. Help me to find ways to use the written word in my battles against lust. When I come across notes or messages, help me to stop and reflect on Your truths and to lean into You more each day.

7. Seek professional help.

I’ll be honest: You can’t look up a chapter and verse in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt speak to a counselor.” But I do think there are plenty of verses that highlight seeking wise advice (such as Proverbs 12:15). And I do believe that we are called to “Bear one another’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2). We have a responsibility to “strengthen the weak hands, [and] strengthen the shaking knee” (Isaiah 35:3; Hebrews 12:12-13).

For some guys, lust is a sin that so easily ensnares us (Hebrews 12:1). For others, the battle to defeat lust has devolved into a struggle with sexual addiction. Whatever the case, a professional therapist might be the answer to the questions you have about fighting lust and overcoming lustful thoughts.

God and Father, I need help. I am weak, and I am broken. Lead me to wise counsel, to one who can share Your truth and set my feet on solid ground again.

Part of the Plan

Taking the steps to defeat lust in your life will be hard. It might seem overwhelming, or you might feel like you’ve already gone too far. But it’s not. You can find healing, and you can find victory.

I know this because God said so. Through the apostle Paul, He said that sanctification and godly control over your body and mind are God’s will for us (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). And He’s never going to call you into something without equipping you to make it happen.

Purity is part of His plan for your life. You have everything you need in Him. Trust Him to complete His good work in you (Philippians 1:6).