William Wallace, in the greatest movie of all time, Braveheart, says, “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” So, when it comes to being a godly husband and father, do you feel like you’re living or dying? In this post, I offer two things you must do if you want to be intentional about leading your family well. You can go from feeling like you’re “just gettin’ by” to thriving. Let’s rock and roll.
The world defines leadership as telling others what to do and getting them to do what you want. But the Bible speaks about leadership differently. Jesus did two things as a leader that we should apply to being more godly husbands and fathers.
#1 He was the expert.
#2 He served humbly.
Okay, I get it. You’re yelling at me already, “I’m not Jesus! I’m no expert” Sure, it’s unreasonable for us to be experts in all things. You and I won’t be perfect. But, you can #1 be the expert of your family and #2 you can serve your family humbly. Let’s unpack these two things:
#1 Be the expert of your family.
“An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.” —Nicholas M. Butler
When it comes to your wife and your kids (emphasis on your), seek to be an expert in everything about them. Biblical fatherhood understands that when you’re trying to be a leader, one of the best ways to establish your credibility is to know your area extremely well.
Think about it:
- Who makes the best sports coaches? (Former players who know their sports extremely well.)
- Who makes the best military generals? (Former soldiers who know strategy and have battle experience.)
You get the idea. How can you be an expert of your wife and child? Well, you had a dad once. There’s learning there—good or bad. How did he treat your mom and you? You were also a kid once, believe it or not! Who often makes the best dads? Former kids and folks with dads! Bam, you’re in the club!
Seriously, it’s about knowing your child so well that you bring what is needed when it’s needed. This will take studying the Bible and seeking to be an expert—so you can intentionally disciple your child. Whether it’s an encouraging word at the right time or knowing when not to say something—there is wisdom in experience over time.
As I experience more and more being the dad of a preteen daughter, I’m learning that not every moment is prime time for a “lesson from dad”—imagine that! You become an expert when you understand your role and keep learning. Rinse and repeat.
#2 Serve your family humbly.
“Nothing will work unless you do.” —Maya Angelou
How do you define the word “humble”? Basically, it’s thinking more of others than yourselves; not lording your authority over others; making yourself low; admitting you’re wrong or need help. Humility involves service. In Scripture, we see great examples of imperfect guys serving humbly.
MosesWeakness: Strength: |
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Do you see how God becomes strong when we become humble? As we lead, we need to calm down our own desires and emotions, and let the Holy Spirit work through us and guide us. Humility involves serving.
Show me a dad who is trying to be an expert of his family and seeking to serve his wife and kids and I’ll show you someone who’s becoming a master of this whole godly husband and father thing.
Dadwork: Discuss with your child the times in your life when you felt weak. For example, did you get picked on by other kids when you were younger? Did you try something but not be good at it at first? The point is to admit weaknesses so your child sees you in a more humble way.
The idea for this post comes from our discussion guide called Leading Lessons. Want to lead your son or a small group through Leading Lessons?
You can walk with through these leadership topics:
- Why leaders make rules
- Leaders follow first
- Power > Leaders learn the art of being humbly influential
- Proverbs > Leaders are continually sharpened by wisdom
- Prayer > Leaders discover the mind of God
- Who wants to lead? Leaders must be shepherds
Question > Which of these two things do you need the most help living out and teaching your child? You can always email me or tweet @ManhoodJourney.
