Engaged dads are important to their families, churches, and communities. But it’s not always easy for fathers to find those connection points, especially with their sons. If you’re a dad trying to identify some father and son bonding activities, I feel your pain.
I’ve got two adult sons, and they are as different as night and day. Now, don’t get me wrong. They aren’t like Cain and Abel or Jacob and Esau. They really do love each other. In fact, they were groomsmen in each other’s weddings.
They’re just wired differently. One follows sports, while the other couldn’t care less about most teams. One loves traveling and trying new adventures, while the other would rather stay close to home.
As a dad, their unique natures made finding father and son bonding activities a challenge. What I finally learned was that I had to invest in each son based on his own personality. Once I figured out how to lean into their strengths, we were able to nurture a healthy father-son relationship that continues today.
The key is determining the best way to connect with your son. Thankfully, you have a lot of options.
Father-son bonding ideas
As noted, father-son relationships are never one-size-fits-all. We serve a God who demonstrates great creativity throughout His creation. That includes the way He wires the guys He has given us to raise.
So, you’ve got to be alert and pay attention to what lights a fire under your son. If you can identify what ignites his passions, you can get a better idea of which activity will help you connect. Admittedly, the possibilities might seem overwhelming; but here are ten that might prime the pump for some father and son bonding adventures in your home.
Share a Bible study together
Some guys are academic by nature, and they might be eager to dig into Scripture deeply. If so, consider setting aside time for a father-son Bible study. It could be a curriculum that lasts a few weeks or a standing event that could last for years. Whatever the case, allow God’s Word to bring you together as father and son, as well as brothers in Christ.
Find a hobby you both enjoy
Hobbies come with their own rewards. For some, it might be a release from stress and anger. For others, it might be a way to express your creativity or to learn something new. And, yes, it can be a way to promote father-son relationships. Just make sure your son gets to speak into the options. This is as much his hobby as yours; and, if you give him a voice, he will be more likely to stick with it.
Try something new together
This takes the hobby idea up a notch because we’re talking about something neither of you has experience doing. This is something completely new, which puts the two of you on level ground. It could be anything from cooking classes to pickleball. But, as you learn together, this father and son bonding activity can make memories and draw you closer together.
Take a milestone trip together
Earlier, I said that one of my sons doesn’t care much about most sports teams. One exception is that we are both fans of the Chicago Cubs. Now, my wife and I had made the pilgrimage to Wrigley Field a few years ago for my first Cubs games there, but my son had never been. So, we planned a long weekend journey. Unfortunately, Chicago lost both games we saw, but we got to experience Wrigley Field together. We also made some incredible memories and had some wonderful conversations along the way.
Read a book together
Book clubs are fascinating. People from different backgrounds find common ground in the pages of a shared novel or biography. If books can bring strangers together, imagine what one could do for father and son relationships! If you and your son are both readers, this could be a great way to nurture a stronger connection between you.
Serve together
As Christ followers, we are called to serve others and to share the gospel around the world. But another great aspect of service is how it bonds the people who are working together. For example, I’ve been on mission trips with each of my sons (as well as my daughter), and they were incredible experiences that brought us closer to God and to one another.
Train for a 5K together
When I was in college, my dad and I ran in a school-sponsored race together. To be honest, we didn’t talk much along the way, but it’s something we shared that I’ll never forget. About three decades later, I ran in a similar race with my son at his university. At that time, running was something we both enjoyed, so it seemed natural to run together. The sense of accomplishment and the pride in doing it together is something we still talk about—even though our best days as runners are now behind both of us.
Fix (or build) something together
If I’m being honest, this one would be a struggle for me. I’m just not a “fixer.” I’m the guy who got glue all over his model airplanes as a kid. And I’m the guy who has learned to call a professional because of my past DIY disasters. But you and your son might be great at figuring out how Point A fits into Slot B or how to fix the wiring so something actually runs again. If so, use that as an opportunity to build a father-son relationship along with whatever else you need to build.
Go camping together
Again, this is not my strongest suit, but that doesn’t mean it’s not right for you and your son. If you guys love the outdoors, then find some time to enjoy the land. Sleep under the stars. Cook over a campfire. Get away from the hustle and bustle of life and focus on each other as you soak in God’s creation. Nature really does declare the glory of God (Psalm 19:1), and it can strengthen father-son bonds as well.
Share some family history
My dad spent part of his childhood in the area just north of San Francisco. Then, his family moved back to Tennessee in the early 1950s. He had always talked about going back to California, but the busyness of life never let that happen. So, my son and I decided to take him back a couple of summers ago. Nearly seven decades after he left, he still could tell us where certain businesses had been and where friends’ homes had stood. He even connected with one of his elementary school friends and found both of his childhood houses in town. I know he appreciated the chance to relive a piece of his history, and we appreciated the chance to learn a little more about the legacy we’ve been given.
Time and teaching
As you consider the best adventure to kick-start your father-son relationship, you need to focus on two important principles. The first is time together. Honestly, while the kind of activity you choose is important, the fact that you are sharing the experiences together matters even more. Whether or not your son remembers all the specifics, he will never forget that you made time for him.
The other is teachable moments. Whether you’re hiking through the woods, sitting in a stadium, or simply rehearsing a day’s events, you’ll find open doors to talk about things. In those moments, your son is more likely to drop his guard and really talk about life and what it means to be a man. You don’t want to lecture, but you do want to be ready to speak truth.
Intentionally pursuing father and son bonding activities can make that possible.
