You’re probably angry all the time because you’re a jerk! Actually, that’s not true (for most of us), but it does feel true. Anger creates an agitated feeling of uneasiness inside us that searches for any way out, often in rage-induced explosions of yelling or, worse, throwing and breaking stuff. Nobody enjoys being angry, unless you’re my junior high P.E. coach (I’m pretty sure smiles brought him physical pain).
We must understand that anger is a reaction or response to some stimulant—it’s a symptom stemming from a deeper problem. Think of anger as the ugliest flower blooming from the nastiest roots. To find out why we get so angry, we can’t simply rip away the fury-flower; we have to dig for those emotional roots to uncover our anger.
Let’s start digging.
Common Culprits of Anger
Stress
Even guys who taste test ice cream for a living and win the lottery have stress in their lives. Probably not as much as you and me, but it’s there. It’s everywhere. Undealt with pressure and stress are notorious for bringing anger along with them. What causes you stress?
Pain
Pain comes in two doses, physical and emotional. Dealing with a nagging, long-lasting physical injury or sickness is tough. The frustrations that come from coping with these circumstances can be angering. Emotional pain can be just as damaging, if not worse. Having your heart broken, past traumatic events, or watching someone you love suffer in any way makes most of us angry. What kind of pain are you dealing with?
Feeling unappreciated
As a dad, you probably have a full plate most days. Being a rockstar employee at work, an attentive and caring husband, plus a loving, family-leading father are all jobs we signed up for. But we’d still like the occasional pat on the back or ‘at a boy. When we feel our hard work is overlooked or taken for granted, it stirs up some anger. Are you feeling unnoticed in any area of your life?
Not being clear about your desires
Are you a people pleaser? Do you say “yes” to things you hate doing? If we get into a habit of bottling up what we want and rarely do anything to meet our desires, disappointment and resentment are sure to follow. Unmet desires can make anyone irritable. Do you communicate the truth about how you feel?
Getting back on track
With all of that said, anger in itself is not a bad thing. Jesus got angry from time to time and even flipped over a table or two when the circumstances called for it (Matthew 21:12-17; John 2:13-17). Anger becomes a problem depending on what causes it and how we handle it. If you want to understand why you get so angry, you have to spend some time in self-examination. Pray. Ask God to reveal the roots and reasons of your anger. Then ask for the strength and wisdom to deal with your anger in a godly manner. Ask for His peace.
You may want a resource to help you understand why you’re so angry. Here at Manhood Journey, we know what it’s like to be angry. And, we’ve learned a few ways of keeping our cool, and we’d like to share them with you.
