If you struggle with anger, you are not alone. It’s an issue for many dads. But how do you know the difference between losing your cool when you get a frustrating text from your teen and when you have deeper anger issues?
Healthy anger triggers your flight or fight mode and is God’s way of helping you avoid danger. Unhealthy anger issues will damage your relationship with your kids, model ungodly behavior, and hurt those you love most.
How many of these anger issues do you see in your life?
1. Explosive Outbursts
It’s normal to feel irritated when you get cut off in traffic or when your kids are arguing – again.
But if you have explosive outbursts, racing thoughts, or physical symptoms of your anger, like shaking or tingling, this could be a sign that you have deeper anger issues. As anger grows, it can move towards rage and even physical or verbal abuse. What starts with yelling at the kids when they won’t brush their teeth, throwing something in exasperation, or losing control over changed plans might lead to more severe consequences if you don’t take action.
2. Increasing Inward Anger
Sometimes anger is harder to spot. If you notice that you spend time each day ruminating on thoughts of shame, low self-worth, or self-hatred, this could signify an anger problem. As anxious and resentful thoughts fill your mind, it can be harder to control your outward behavior over time. Underlying causes for anger issues can include grief, situations that make you feel powerless, and childhood trauma (especially if unaddressed).
3. Growing Dependence on Alcohol
If you need a beer or a stiff drink to smooth your nerves, consider that a warning light for anger management problems that could get much worse over time. Recent studies link increased alcohol consumption with more violent behavior.
4. Unpredictable Mood Swings
We all experience shifts in our mood throughout the day as we manage our homes, work demands, finances, and many other responsibilities.
But if you are dealing with underlying anger issues, you may find that your low-level tension seeps out throughout your day, resulting in unpredictable mood swings.
Your relationships will suffer as those closest to you are unsure of what mood to expect from you. Mood swings might resemble impulsive comments in a work meeting, raising your voice or storming out after a disputed fantasy football game, or uncharacteristic behavior like berating a server.
5. Passive Aggressive Behavior
While less obvious to outsiders, passive-aggressive behavior is a common symptom of underlying anger issues. You may harbor resentment toward those around you and use sarcasm or indifference to control your emotions.
It can be hard to face the truth of how you are using manipulation and blame, but dealing with the underlying cause of your anger is your most courageous step forward.
Are you tired of being angry all the time?
The good news is anger is something you can overcome! God’s Holy Spirit inside us can lead us to peace and joy. The Anger Free Dad online anger management course will help you learn how to root out your anger and become a calmer and more patient dad. All from the comfort of your couch.
If you are ready to change, get our Anger Free Dad course to help you get your anger under control.
Learn how to control anger and live in peace. Your kids (and your wife!) will thank you for it.
Not sure where you stand as a Godly Dad? Take the Godly Dad Quiz.
