Are you doing it wrong? Here's how to pray for your kids.

You know it’s good to pray for your kids. I’m sure you pray often. But, do you feel confident knowing what and why you’re praying for them?

We want to help you get aligned with God on praying for your kids. Do you need to pray for physical safety, traveling mercies, and academic success?

Paul’s letter to the Colossians might unlock a thing or two for how you can pray for your kids and align with God at the same time.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, ¹⁰so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; ¹¹being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; ¹²giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. —Colossians 1:9-12

We know the godly husband prays for his wife. We talked about that recently. But, when it comes to how to pray for your kids, you might have the same hesitation about what to pray. I get it. Prayers for my kids often feel like Shaquille O’Neal’s free-throwing shooting—they miss the mark. Yes, I took it back to Shaq on that illustration. He was a horrible from the free throw line. I can say this because I’m an amazing shooter of the basketball.

Anyway, Paul’s letter to the Colossians starts with thanksgiving, moves to intercession, then back to thanksgiving. Take note of that. Paul’s reminding readers to stay the course and not give in to the world. That’s Ryan’s Big Picture Bible Paraphrase version—look for it where books are sold.

Let’s dig in, just know, if you’re a believer, you can read this letter like it’s to you and your church. We’re no different. We need to be reminded of these truth. We need to know what God wants. And, we need to not be seduced by the world to pray weird things. Your kids need this too. Constantly. Here we go.

#1 When should you pray for your kids?

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, —Colossians 1:9a

Here’s my guess: you pray for your kids often. You pray all of the time and about a lot of things. But, my other guess is: your prayers often feel like some hail mary’s tossed up at the end of a football game. “God, please do this…”, “God, if You’re listenin’, would you….”. You get the idea.

You squint your eyes and beg God to protect your child from “that dumb thing he got himself into” or for traveling mercies. Listen, these aren’t bad prayers, necessarily. But, we’re godly dads—we need to know there are better prayers to pray and then pray them.

For now, know Paul prayed all of the time for the believers at Colossae—he didn’t stop praying. You should do like Paul—for your kids.

#2 What you should pray for your kids?

asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,—Colossians 1:9b

When you pray for your kids, I’ll bet it’s usually for physical stuff. Just a guess, I bet you pray God would:

protect them
they would succeed in school
score in sports
get that scholarship
have great friends

These are okay. But, as we do this, are we missing the bigger things? Do you pray for your kids’ spiritual maturity or for a deeper knowledge of God? Paul’s prayer is that they be “filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding”. I’m not hearing anything about physical stuff here.

I’m NOT saying Paul didn’t care about physical stuff, ever. I’m simply asking you to consider a higher standard of prayer for a moment. Don’t email me. These verses are all about spiritual growth and development as a better believer. Paul’s praying that believers would know God’s will and let that control their lives.

Side trail: Knowing God’s will isn’t just meant for the ivory tower. It’s not a mystery. The big secret is to know God and His will from the Bible. Knowledge alone about stuff in this world won’t cut it. Knowing God’s Word won’t even cut. Listen to me: we have KNOW GOD and that means we DO God’s Word. You put God’s Word into practice in your life. His Word should control you as a believer. Don’t you want that for yourself and your kids? Pray about it.

#3 Why should you pray for your kids?

so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; ¹¹being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.—Colossians 1:10-12

Does this sound like your prayers for your kids? Not me. The best prayer I might pray is, “God, please give my firstborn child a better attitude. Help me be the example.” So, not a horrible prayer. I feel better about it because I bring myself in as part of the solution, right. But, it ain’t Paul’s prayer here.

We should be begging God that our kids’ actions match up with who they say they are in Christ. That they be “fully pleasing to Him”. Pleasing God is the goal. How? Keep reading: bearing fruit, increasing in knowledge OF GOD, being strengthened…for endurance and patience…giving thanks for God sending Jesus. Amen.

Read that last paragraph again. This is how we please God.

Verse 10, Bearing fruit: understand here that bearing fruit comes after salvation. You get planted. Then, you grow. You don’t grow—then get planted. I killed a succulent recently. But, I still know this is the general way plants work. What am I saying? Think fruits of the Spirit here. Do others see fruit in your life? Do you see fruit in your kids’ life? If so, it points to the fact that you probably know God like you say you do. We work, not for our salvation—but because of it. We want that for ourselves and for our kids.

Verse 10, increasing in knowledge of God: It’s worth mentioning, Paul doesn’t stop at the word “knowledge”. This isn’t “Make Me a Genius” stuff. Knowing things and IQ is not the point. Gather all the knowledge—you still might miss God. The words “of God” come after the word “understanding” for a reason. Paul wants you to increase in the knowledge of God.

Verse 11: let me paraphrase some. You are to be a dad who exhibits endurance and patience. Life’s tough. You have a helmet. Seriously, notice how the believer handles tough times as a dad. He looks different in troubled times than the pagans.

Paul prayed for spiritual knowledge and spiritual actions. Read it for yourself. Has Paul mentioned anything physical? Answer: nope. I’m reminded of a veteran I met who was in a wheelchair due to combat. His son was being deployed. He said to me, “I’ve been to war. I know what my son’s about to face. I don’t pray for safety for my son. I pray for my son to be faithful and do God’s will.” Whoa. Hear me, I might be the guy who still prays for safety. But, it’s worth considering whether our prayers are aligned with what God considers important.

Looking at the rest of this passage, we see God gives endurance and patience where needed. You want to keep going during difficulties? Ask God for help. Are you going through tough circumstances, ask God to give you peace and patience and to see from His angle.

Verse 12: Paul finishes like he started, with thanks. If we know God and do what He says, no matter the outcome, we will find joy. We will walk differently. We will remember what God has done for us.

What’s the point?

Paul’s letter was basically telling his readers: Hey, you’re doing great. Keep it up. Here’s how you might improve some. Now, remember why you’re doing this. So the watching world around you doesn’t confuse you with the pagans. You want to be different. Look like the believer you say you are.

Let’s remember as dads, we aren’t praying so our kids will be successful or get that scholarship (although scholarships are gifts from the Lord!). We’re looking higher toward heaven to see what God’s heart is for our kids. Let’s pray for our kids all of the time. Pray they would think and act like believers. May you and I be dads who pray prayers for our kids which honor God and His Word.

Question: What might happen if you prayed for your kids like Paul says in these verses? Tell us on twitter @manhoodjourney or you can always email us.

Your mission in praying for your kids

Review the above verses and pray for your kids right now.

Next level godly dad stuff: Ask your child what he or she would like you to pray for. Then pray for that thing right on the spot. Boom. You just pointed your child to God. God wins.