I Want to Pray for My Wife

Like a lot of men, I have a deep desire to pray for my wife. And, also like a lot of men, I struggle to make it happen. It’s not that I don’t love her. The fact is, I’m crazy about her. As time goes by, I realize more and more how God has blessed me by allowing our lives to intersect and how much I need her.

But prayer is a weak spot in my life. And that makes it hard to pray for my wife.

Of course, difficulty doesn’t diminish responsibility. I still have a God-given duty to intercede for her consistently and to ask Him to meet her needs. Truth is, if any of us are going to be serious about leading our families well as men, we’ve got to get serious about praying for our spouses.

When you look at your prayer list, your wife’s name should be at the top.

Praying Like Jesus

When we think about praying for our wives, it helps to go back to a fundamental passage on marriage. In Ephesians 5, husbands are commanded to love their wives as Jesus loved the church. So, the question becomes, how did Jesus love the church?

That question has a lot of answers, but one of them is prayer. In John 17, Jesus offered what is known as His “High Priestly prayer,” where He asked God to help His first-century followers and all those future disciples (like us) who would come to faith through their testimony.

But Jesus didn’t just pray for His followers once and leave at that. Scripture says that He constantly intercedes for them (Hebrews 7:25). In addition, the Holy Spirit also prays for us when we don’t know how to pray for ourselves.

So, loving my wife well means praying for her well—just like Jesus prays for His bride, the church.

Ways to Pray for Your Wife

Intellectually, most of us get that loving our wife means praying for her. We’re just aren’t sure where to start. Well, the best place to start is by asking her. If you keep your lines of communication open and healthy as a couple, she will let you know.

However, if you struggle with communication, you can still observe what’s going on in her life. Spend time with her and pay attention to what she says and how she acts. That can give you some solid clues for prayer possibilities.

If you’re still stuck, here are seven basic directions you can go when you pray for your wife. This list isn’t exhaustive, but it can be an effective way to start.

1. Pray that she draws closer to Jesus. When I pray for my wife, this is the request that tops the list. I ask God to help her come to know Him better and to become the woman He created her to be. You can also pray that God will be her one and only God. Ask Him to help her discern the cheap imitations that would like to dominate her life so she can trust Him above all else.

I’m often tempted to pray for God to change my wife so she becomes the spouse I think I need. But she honestly needs Jesus more than she needs me. So, I pray for her connection with Him.

2. Pray that she gains godly wisdom. Just like you, your wife faces a multitude of choices each day. She needs God’s wisdom, so pray for her discernment. By the way, this is also a win-win for you. Smart husbands lean into their wives’ wisdom and advice. Ask God to help her see things that you miss—things that could cause serious problems down the road.

3. Pray that she hears true voices. The world is filled with voices that would love to tear your wife down. She is likely bombarded with negative thoughts and messages that leave her feeling small or thinking she’s not “good enough.” As I pray for my wife, I pray against those voices. I ask God to help her remember what He thinks of her. My desire is that she embraces the truth that God is crazy in love with her and that she holds a special place in His heart.

4. Pray for friends and mentors. Guys talk a lot about iron sharpening iron, but our wives also need a support system. As you pray for your wife, ask the Lord to surround her with godly friends and mentors who can speak into her life. As a husband, you can do a lot to carry your wife’s burdens, but you can also pray that God brings others into her life to fill in the gaps and provide rich community.

5. Pray for healing in her life. Of course, if you wife is sick or physically hurting, you should absolutely pray for her recovery. But some hurts go much deeper. Pray that God provides emotional healing in your wife’s heart and spirit. Ask Him to bring comfort and help to areas where the words and actions of others have left painful marks on her life.

6. Pray for boldness to chase a dream. No one likes feeling stuck, and your wife may be harboring a dream that she’s not sure how to pursue. Pray that the Lord will give her the courage to chase her God-given dreams with all her heart. It might be running a marathon, starting a ministry, or writing a book. The shape of the dream doesn’t matter as much as your prayer support.

7. Pray for her as a mom. Admittedly, not every wife is a mom, and that can be a painful subject. But if you do have children, spend time praying for her relationship with your kids. Mothers have a special bond with their children, and they can teach unique lessons that dads just can’t. So while you’re praying for her as a wife, spend just as much time praying for her as a mom.

The Bottom Line

Your wife is not just your spouse. She’s also your sister in Christ, and that relationship runs deeper than anything else you share. In fact, it’s the foundation of every aspect of your marriage. Given that, it only makes sense to pray for your wife.

If you don’t have a heart to pray for her yet or you’re not sure what to say, ask God to help you. He will equip you to obey Him in this area just like He does in other areas of your spiritual walk.

More than anything, simply be thankful. If you don’t know what else to say, express gratitude to God for the partner He has given you. She is a good gift from Him (James 1:17), and she needs your prayers.