Stewardship Isn’t Just About Money

Show Transcripts:

Intro:
Welcome to the Father On Purpose Podcast, featuring author and ministry leader, Kent Evans, and business executive and military veteran, Lawson Brown. This is a show for you, Dad. You want to be a godly and intentional father. Unfortunately, you’ve turned to these two knuckleheads for help. Let us know how that works out for you. Before we begin, remember this, you are not a father on accident. So go be a Father on Purpose. Please welcome your hosts, Kent and Lawson.

Kent:
Hey Dads, welcome. Welcome to the podcast. I’m so excited.

Lawson:
You’re ramped up just then.

Kent:
I am. I’m on like my third cup of coffee.

Lawson:
Oh boy.

Kent:
I’m on my third cup of coffee. It’s not lunch yet. And so, I’m moving on the inside. Dad. We are in the middle of a series, well, toward the end of a series. I can see Laswon on the video. My whole objective is to make him laugh hard enough where he has to hit the mute button.

Lawson:
You’ve had a lot of coffee, and you’re moving on the inside. I don’t know what that means.

Kent:
So we are in the tail end of a series called Survival Gear. We produced an ebook about a year ago. That eBook has been downloaded about 6,000 times. It’s a free tool. Come to our website, manhoodjourney.org/survival-gear. The subtitle is Seven Must-Have Tools Every Godly Dad Needs for His Journey. There are things that throughout the course of becoming a godly dad, we are learning how to do, and that’s trust God, and know scripture, and pray, and build relationships, and you name it. Lots of stuff in there as a dad. And today we’re going to talk about stewarding resources. But before we do, before we do, I want to remind you, go snag the ebook, go snag the ebook at manhoodjourney.org/survival-gear. And then, Lawson, I think you’re going to give a bit of a sneak preview to an episode we have coming up relatively soon with a special guest.

Lawson:
Yeah. That’s going to be so awesome. It was really great to have him with us. Once the end of the Survival Gear mini series concludes, I think the episode with our awesome guest speaker is going to come up. And I’ve actually got his book right here. You, just a minute ago, talked about stewarding resources, and like probably a lot of dudes, my brain immediately goes to financial resources, things I have, things I own. And I think we’ll get into that some, but what he writes in Portrait of a Father, I won’t say his name, because I think you said we can’t say his name, but that’s all right. Portrait of a Father, it says, “Your stewardship as a leader.” So you’re stewarding almost like you’re stewarding yourself, because you’re a father. You’re the leader of the household. And what he writes is, “Does that mean you take on everything yourself? Of course not. Just as you fulfill your own work responsibilities, and allow others to do their jobs, you fulfill your responsibilities at home in the context of other family members.” And here’s what I underlined. It’s in bold in his book. It says, “You are morally responsible, before God, for your home.” And I wrote in the margin here, “That is heavy duty, that being the number one responsibility of my life.” So, stewarding resources is important, but why and how? And when I’m thinking about if some of my resources are my children’s hearts, and my relationship with Audrey, with my wife, that is my most important stewardship responsibility. And I think he’s right, that we are… God. Think about how, what a heavy duty statement that is, that we are morally responsible for God, for our family.

Kent:
Man.

Lawson:
Big.

Kent:
And to your point, we can’t say the author’s name. It’s going to be a big surprise, but we can say, it rhymes with Chip Ingram.

Lawson:
Oh my gosh.

Kent:
It’s going to sound a lot like…

Lawson:
Dude, all those warnings, and you just… What an idiot. I’m just kidding.

Kent:
I’m not kidding.

Lawson:
I know. I know.

Kent:
I’m kidding. I like how you said this as a mini series. All of a sudden, I heard the promotional voice, like, “Godly Dads.” Okay. I got a good mic today. I want to use it to the best of its ability.

Lawson:
Yeah, you’re set.

Kent:
I’m all set. To your point, man, that part of the book where he talks about being morally responsible for our families; that’s a great connection to this topic of stewarding resources. Because I do think, to your point, when most guys, if we hadn’t already said it, and we said, “Hey. What do you think about when I say steward resources?” We think of stewardship. In fact, if your church has a stewardship ministry, or there’s ever a sermon on stewardship, I can almost guarantee you it’s going to be financial. They’re going to talk about it in financial contexts, whether that’s tithing or giving or saving or whatever, or what you spend your money on. And so, one of the things that I think our society, and even our churches has done as a disservice to us, accidentally, accidentally, is constantly framing stewardship in the context of money only. It’s very important that we steward our money well. And we’ll talk quite a bit about that on today’s podcast. But, to your point, money is one of those resources that can come and can go. Right? It’s like we might earn more, we might save more, we might keep more, we might spend more, we might invest more; but it can come and go, where things like relationships, or things like time and how we steward those resources, or our own physical health. Some of those things, once they start to go down, sometimes it’s very hard to get those back. You can kind of always make more money. Society is riddled with stories of people who lost it all and gained it back. I have a friend who was a business guy, and he said he got a PhD in finance. And I knew him pretty well. And I was like, “He didn’t get a PhD in finance.” He says, “Yeah. When I was seven figures in debt, I got a PhD in finance.” He said, “All I wanted to do was become broke again.” I mean, that’s a hilarious line. And he did. And then he went way past it, millions past it. He became really successful in business. But there’s all kinds of stories of guys who’ve had a rocky financial part. But there’s a lot of stories about guys who had their marriage wind down to a place where it ended, and they’re never getting that marriage back. Or a relationship that they allowed bitterness and unforgiveness to fester in. And that relationship can be redeemed. It’s one of the best things about God, is He can redeem anything, anything. He can bring draw bones to life. Right? And so, it’s not beyond hope, but man, sometimes it’s really hard to redeem it. And so, today we’re going to talk about all kinds of resources, Lawson, that God wants us to steward, kind of beginning with the one you just mentioned a moment ago, and that was being morally responsible for our own homes. What are some things that that means to you, as a dad? When you read that part of Chip’s book, what are some things that kind of synapses that fired for you?

Lawson:
What do you mean?

Kent:
Well, when you think of being morally responsible for your home, I think what a guy could misinterpret is that, “I am…” My oldest son is 22, and he’s married, and now every single decision he makes as a 22-year old, I’m responsible for. I don’t think that’s true. Right? I don’t think that’s accurate.

Lawson:
Mm-mm (negative). Yeah. I don’t either.

Kent:
However, he was part of my home for a while; or I may have a 13 year-old son who, or daughter, who makes some really bad life choices. And is God going to come and smite me, or drag me aside and go, “Hey. How come your kid got a D on that test, or smoked that joint, or drank that thing?” What does it mean to be morally responsible for our home? And where’s that line between being a responsible dad, and being accountable for every single decision every member under my roof makes?

Lawson:
Yeah. I think… I don’t know. What it means to me, is when I think thoughts like that, it makes me think of me as an example. So my words matter, my actions matter way more. And so, when decisions come into our family life, and maybe not quite as much when they were young, but as they’ve grown older, as my daughters have grown older, and as Audrey and I have been together for longer, the conversations about what is right, don’t even bend the truth a tiny little bit. If you’ve got to tell that friend something, then do it as graciously and kindly as you can; but don’t make something up that gets you out of an uncomfortable situation, or gets them out of an uncomfortable situation. So, just as an example, telling the truth. And when they were little, it was, “God is with us, and He’s watching. He doesn’t want us to lie. It hurts his heart.” To where they’re now grown adults, and the conversations are about things that are more complex, and about their stance and their take and their moral integrity, their believability among their friends, of, “Look, if that’s what she says, then you can count on it. You can bank on it.” And so, gosh, there’s a whole host of, I think, what comes with that heavy duty statement about being morally responsible for your family. That’s just one example. You made me think of something about stewarding resources and talking about relationships. Something that you’ve been really good at, some people are… They have a network of relationships, they know a lot of people; and they are maybe themselves gifted in a way that they’re just naturally inclined to help others, to share, to bring people that are maybe in a situation where they need something, bring them into a place where there is a resource that that individual person has. That’s one way. But who do you know, who do you know, in your network? Your network is a resource. And so, helping someone who is in need of something that you have zero ability or access to yourself, but you know two or three others who do. I think this is a way that guys… It doesn’t have a whole lot to do with fatherhood, except that when you are doing things back to my original answer, when you’re doing and not just saying things; when you conduct yourself. And your kids see you at church or at a meeting, or just out and about at the mall, whatever, where you run into somebody, go, “You know what? I know someone who has been down this road, and let me put you guys on a group text.”

Kent:
Yeah.

Lawson:
Or, “Let’s meet for coffee or whatever.” Your kids see you approaching life with a heart to help, and then using things that aren’t of your own, that you bring in from other dudes.

Kent:
It’s interesting. When you talk about who do I know, and connecting people together. There is a guy who I’ve known over the years, and he will occasionally show me his phone. And someone semi-famous, or relatively famous that he “has access to.” Right? And he loves to wear that on his sleeve. And so, I remember one time, this was a person who, if I were to connect with that person, it could probably help our ministry. And so I just said to him, I said, “Why don’t you hit that button right there.” And he goes, “Which one?” I said, “The call button.” And he looked at me, and I said, “Yeah, you should right now. Connect me with that guy.” “Well, la, la, la, la, la. And he started back-pedaling real fast. And I’m like, “Ah, okay. So there’s one of two things that are true. Either A) You found his number on the internet, and you actually don’t know him, or B) You don’t have enough relational equity to connect me with that person, or C) You’re just unhelpful. Three things, I guess. So, anyway, I do think it’s interesting how we tend to take this kind of protectionism sort of mindset around any resource that we have, whether it’s money or relationships or whatever we have. So we even use that language, right? We say “I own a car.” If you’ve ever filled out something where you’re trying to go and get credit for something, it’ll say, “Do you own or rent? Do you own or rent?” And we all go, “Oh, if you have a mortgage you own.” So you check the own box. Or “I own my Mac, or I own this iPhone I have here, or I own my golf clubs.” Which by the way, Hunter would attest, my golf clubs miss me very badly. They haven’t seen me very much lately. And anytime they do see me, they don’t seem to do what I’m asking them to do. And what’s interesting to me about that language is we don’t really own anything. Biblically speaking, there’s nothing that you and I actually own. We steward everything.

Lawson:
It’s almost like if you think like it’s all on loan to us from God.

Kent:
Well, that’s the thing. So for example, for example, one of the things that, to your point, is a unique wiring of mine, is I love to connect people. I think it’s fun. For me, it’s like a crossword puzzle. I think it’s interesting to go, “Wait a minute. I know person A, and they can do thing A, B, or C, or they have access to thing A, B, or C; and I know person B, and man, he really needs access to thing A, B, or C. I get a charge out of connecting people. I think it’s fun, and it’s interesting; because here’s what I’ve figured out over the years, is that relationship that I have with person A and person B, I don’t own those relationships. God has loaned me that relationship for a period of time. And I think what He’s looking for is, am I going to connect those dots? So I think of Andrew in scripture, where we see him bringing people to Jesus, and he’s like, he’s got access to Jesus. He’s got access to Jesus. And he goes out and finds people, and smashes them together, and just to see what happens. Right? And Andrew was this guy who constantly brought people to Jesus. And I think that’s the description. I think it’s in Corinthians, where it says, “We are ministers of reconciliation.” So you may think of yourself, dad, as you’re an accountant, or you’re an engineer, or you are a CEO, or you’re working at Dairy Queen; whatever you do for a job, you may think that’s your job, and so you are not really in the “ministry.” However, the Bible would tell us we’re all ministers of reconciliation. We all are the entire body of Christ. And I look at that reconciliation as connecting people who are removed from the truth to the truth; connecting people who are removed from grace to grace. And I feel like that’s part of my job. And so, I get a kick out of connecting people when they have a relational need. I think that’s… I just did it last week again, because I think it’s fun. And I understand that these relationships are not mine. I don’t possess these relationships. They’re on loan too.

Lawson:
Yeah. Maybe after the break, we can go through a couple of examples. When I lost a job a long time ago… I’ve told that story before, once it… I had checked out, I was out of the company, and now you’re alone, beginning to go look for a job. And there’s probably a lot of dudes out there listening right now that may be in the situation, and in the searching for whatever was next, I was pleasantly surprised, like literally surprised, by people who I never would’ve even thought were going to come out of the woodwork to help me; like went out of their way to help. And I was also a bit disappointed in some people that I would’ve told you beforehand, “Oh yeah. They’re going to have my back. They’ll be right here with me the whole time.”

Kent:
Okay. Okay. Fine. Fine. Lawson, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Okay? I should have helped more.

Lawson:
Yep. That’s what this is about today. We’re finally getting to… But I told myself, I told myself… Going through that process, it taught me how important it is to be there for somebody. And I said, “If I’m ever in a position where I have the ability to help someone find a job, I’m going to be that person that goes out of their way.” And I’ve tried to fulfill that, especially in a company or two, previous to where I’m at now. We just happened to be in a growth mode; a lot of sales roles were coming open. And so, I actively sought people to come in and join our team. And it was just super fun to see someone take that next step, get rewarded, a new job, something different, something fresh, good company. And so, let’s talk about ways that we can do that with other resources in our lives. And I don’t want to forget the thought of, “As a steward of something that is on loan to you that is valuable, you also have a responsibility to take care of that.” And that also includes your relationship, your network of other people. You need to take care of those relationships, because they may need to be used by someone else in your life, down the road. So you’ve got to put a little effort into that.

Kent:
Hey, dad. Do you wrestle with anger? Man, I sure have, and so have thousands of other dads in our email list. And so what we did for those dads and for you, we built a special digital course called The Anger-Free Dad. This digital course is chock full of almost 50 assets: a bunch of teaching videos, a ton of PDF booklets and worksheets, so you can walk through and understand your anger triggers, the expectations underneath, and how to pull those out of your heart and mind, so you can be a dad who is less angry and more at peace. If you take this course, and you do not become less angry, you will get all of your money back, plus we’ll send you some boxing gloves, so you can beat up the wall at your house with all of your mad anger. Dad, come take the Anger-Free Dad course today at manhoodjourney.org/anger-free-dad. That’s manhoodjourney.org/anger-free-dad.

Kent:
Lawson, you were talking about before the break, how sometimes when we borrow stuff, or if we know something’s on loan, we’ve got to take care of it. One time I was leading a golf scramble for a nonprofit. And one of the things we had as kind of the attraction to the golf scramble was you could win a free Corvette if you made a hole in one. Right? And in case you don’t know how that works, it’s just an insurance policy, so you buy a couple hundred dollar insurance policies. But to make it really cool, the organization here locally in Louisville, Bachman Chevrolet, they loaned us a Corvette for the day, that we could drive out and put at the golf course, so people could walk up to that hole, and see an actual Corvette.

Lawson:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). That’s not necessarily the one you were going to get, but it’s something there.

Kent:
Correct. Correct. It was an example. Well, and of course it’s a brand new one with like a hundred miles on it, and it’s spotless and beautiful. And I was the guy who got to go to Bachman Chevrolet, and drive it the 20 minutes out to the golf course. So I got like a one hour road trip in this Corvette that was not mine. The whole time I was driving something that I knew was not mine, man, was I nervous. I was like, extra following distance.

Lawson:
Yeah. Right.

Kent:
I was careful. I got on an open road a time or two and I went to see what it could do and thought, “Goodness, gracious. I do not need a car like this. I’m going to kill somebody.” But man, what a blast of a ride, right? It was so fun to drive; but I treated that car totally differently than I would have treated my own car. And I think there were two reasons for that. Number one, I knew it was a loan; it was obviously not mine. And secondly, it was super high value, compared to my car. Right? I’m sure. I don’t remember what I was driving at the time, probably a Ford Taurus. So I pulled up in a car worth like $2,000, and drove off the lot with a car worth $60,000, or whatever much it was at the time. And I just remember thinking, “Man, A) This isn’t my own, and B) Whoo boy, if I wreck this thing.” And so, what’s very interesting is, what would happen if we took every single thing we believe we hold in our hands, and we understood that it is on loan? It is on loan. Even scripture tells us, “In heaven, there won’t be giving and taking in marriage.” And so you think, “Wow, even my marriage, which is really the most valuable earthly relationship I’m ever going to have, that’s on loan to me. That’s on loan to me. My own children are not my own children. They’re God’s children, that He’s placed under my roof for a finite period of time, Lord willing, a finite period of time, Lord willing.” I’m just repeating that in case my kids are listening. Finite period of time, boys. Boys, listen up. Okay. Finite period of time. Make sure we get the point across. But for a period of time, they are on loan to me. My money is on loan to me. This podcast, the couple hundred thousand guys who are going to come to our website this year, our donations to our nonprofit, my relationships, my… Wow. All of it. All of it is not my own. And am I handling those resources with the same kind of delicacy and care and awareness that I was handling that brand new Corvette? Man, day by day, the answer’s probably not. How about you, Lawson?

Lawson:
Yeah. That’s a cool way of thinking about it. If something is valuable to you when you receive it, it’s like it’s been lent to you, and there’s an expectation of when it’s taken back, that’s different. And I think God sets that standard for us, that, “All things are mine. This is for you to use. And I expect some things of you, especially when you talk about the family relationships and your children.” I think Chip Ingram, sounds like Chip Ingram, said it well, where, ‘”We are morally responsible before God for your home.” So the things that are on loan to us, there is an expectation we’re not going to give that Corvette back with dings and dents and dirt in the seats and spilled drinks. It’s going to come back just as good, if not better, than when it was given to us. And if you’ve ever loaned someone something of value to you, and they take it, they use it for whatever reason, and then bring it back to you. If you’ve ever loaned someone your vehicle, your truck or whatever, and they need it to move some furniture, they need it to do whatever, haul some things. And then bring it back to you on Sunday over the weekend, and it comes back spotless and clean, cleaner than when you gave it. What’s your tendency? Your tendency is to trust them, have respect for them, like, “Okay. They really valued that I did this for them, and they returned this thing to me back better than I had given it to them.” It makes you more willing, more open to trust them, to do it again. And so I think likewise, for us as dads, you guys out there with young kids, with older children, maybe with some children who are having your grandchildren now, that you approach your responsibility in their lives with a thought process of, “God has loaned me this family, or this time, or this situation. And I am going to pray and listen and follow as best I know to do, because what I want is for when this is over…” You said there’s a finite period of time. I think you said it five times, a little too much, a little overly-

Kent:
Listen up, boys.

Lawson:
When this is done, you then hear, “Well done. Well done, good servant.”

Kent:
Mm. You know what’s interesting? You make me think, Lawson, of the verse in Ephesians, Ephesians chapter five. And it’s talking about how husbands are to love their wives. And this idea, and I’d love for dads to think, just for a moment, to Lawson’s point. You mentioned loaning something to someone like a car, and it comes back to you better than it was when you gave it to them. I think we’ve also probably all had the opposite experience, where we’ve loan something to someone, and it came back broken, or there’s a part missing, or something is wrong. And there’s two ways for them to return that back to you. Right? One is to go, “Man, I’m really sorry. This broke. I’ll pay for it.” I was once driving a friend of mine’s motorcycle, and I went, no joke, maybe 30 feet, maybe 25 feet.

Lawson:
Right.

Kent:
Fell over in the dirt. The handlebar dug into the ground. I broke the brake handle clean off, and no one else could ride the motorcycle that day. And he laughed and laughed, and I kept offering to pay for it. And this guy was so gracious, so gracious. Later, he gave us a donation to our ministry, and he had grossed up the donation like $10. So it was like $1,010 or something. And then he put “minus $10 for a new brake handle.” It was a hilarious joke.

Lawson:
Oh, that’s hilarious.

Kent:
He gave me the broken brake handle. And I was like, “Oh, my word.”

Lawson:
As a gift. Good for him. I love it.

Kent:
It was so great. He gave me grace, and we laughed about it. But all that to say, we’ve also had the opposite experience. And here is, to your point, about what Chip said about owning the moral responsibility in our homes. Verse Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her.” Verse 26, “To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water, through the Word.” Verse 27, listen to this; so powerful for us as dads and husbands. “And to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” So there’s this picture in Ephesians 5, of both Jesus, the heavenly bridegroom, and the church as the earthly bride, as well as the earthly guys like you and me and the guys listen to this podcast, earthly husbands, earthly brides. And it’s this idea that as we wash our wives in the water of God’s Word; in other words, loving them in a way that honors Christ, we are presenting our wives back to ourselves, radiant, without stain or wrinkle. And there’s this notion of, as you described, God has loaned us our wives for hopefully 20, 30, 50 years, if you live long enough. And we are presenting our wives back to God without stain, without wrinkle, or any other blemish, because of how we handled our relationship with them, and we washed them in the water of the Word. And I think that’s true for everything that we’re stewarding here on earth, whether it’s our time, our money, our relationships, our wives, our kids; there is a very interesting spiritual drama that’s unfolding in this area of stewardship. And so, what I hope a dad is hearing today on this particular episode of the podcast is, I have bad news and good news. The bad news is, whatever you think you own, you actually don’t own it. You steward it for a season. That may be bad news for some of you, because you’re so wrapped up in what all you own; so wrapped up. But, the good news is, you get to steward it. So that that house or that boat, or that bank account, or that job, or that way for those kids, or that car; you do get to steward it. So good news, right? The golf clubs I own, I do get to kind of steward them until they break in half, maybe because I chucked them into the woods. That’s the good news and the bad news. The bad news is, if you’re really caught up on owning stuff, I’ve got bad news for you. You don’t own anything. Good news is, if can embrace this idea of stewardship, it allows you to hold everything open-handed. It allows you to hold everything without gripping it too tightly. And that gives you a higher degree of peace and joy in the process.

Lawson:
That is the good news.

Kent:
So that’s the good news. So dad, remember, as you’re walking through life and you’re becoming a godly father, a godly father stewards his resources; and that includes every single thing you’ve ever been given. You are a steward. God bless you, and we’ll see you next week.

Kent:
Hey dad, thank you for listening to today’s show. If you found this episode helpful, remember, you can get all the content and show notes at manhoodjourney.org/podcast. And if you really liked it, please consider doing three things. Number one, share this podcast with someone. You can hit the share button in your app, wherever you listen to podcasts, or just call the person up, and tell them to listen in. Number two, subscribe to this podcast, so you get episodes automatically. That helps us as well, to help dads find the show. You can do that through your favorite listening app, whatever that is. And finally, review this podcast. Leave us a review, good or bad, wherever you listen. Those reviews also help other dads find this show. You can always learn more about what we’re up to at manhoodjourney.org, or fatheronpurpose.org. We will see you next week.

Outro:
You’ve been dozing off to the Father on Purpose Podcast, featuring Kent Evans and Lawson Brown. Now, wake up, head over to fatheronpurpose.org. for more tools that can help you be a godly, intentional, and not completely horrible dad. Remember, you are not a father on accident. So go be a Father on Purpose.