Helping kids with anxiety and creating a peaceful home w/ Stephen Kendrick

Show Transcripts:

Intro:

Welcome to the Father On Purpose Podcast, featuring author and ministry leader, Kent Evans, and business executive and military veteran Lawson Brown. This is a show for you, dad. You want to be a godly and intentional father unfortunately, you’ve turned to these two knuckleheads for help. Let us know how that it works out for you. Before we begin, remember this, you are not a father on accident, so go be a father on purpose. Please welcome your hosts, Kent and Lawson.

 

Kent Evans:

Hey guys. Welcome to another episode of the Father On Purpose Podcast. And we have a treat for you today in two forms. Number one, you don’t have to listen to me and Lawson the whole time. That is fantastic. You’re welcome. We’ve done you a favor this week and Lawson and I are going to do very little of the talking, you’re welcome. And the second piece of the favor puzzle is we’re joined today by filmmaker, dad, husband, pastor, author, and my friend, Stephen Kendrick from the Kendrick Brothers Studio and Production Company. Man, Stephen, thank you so much for joining us this week to talk about fatherhood.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Kent, I love to talk about fatherhood. I have six kids. It’s one of my favorite topics and I rarely get to talk about it on podcasts. So thank you for this opportunity, this is great.

 

Kent Evans:

I can’t wait, tell us a little bit about your family. I think most folks know you have a breed of kids. You guys have been through the adoption process a time or two. Just give us a little bio on the Kendrick family.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Well, my two older brothers and I grew up in Smyrna, Georgia, the sons of a minister and school teacher and we ended up going into ministry and then into filmmaking. Have served 20 years in church ministry. Now we make Christian films out of Albany, Georgia, all three of the Kendrick Brothers have, I have six kids, Alex has six and Shannon has seven. So that wasn’t the original plan, but God just blessed. And we love our kids and they love one another. But my wife, Jill and I have been married since 2000, so coming up on our 22nd anniversary. With our six kids, we have a 20-year-old in college, graduating senior who’s 17 in high school, a 10th-grade daughter, then I have a middle school son and then I have two daughters in elementary school, with the oldest being eight.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Man, we got elementary, middle high school and college right now. I’m in all those worlds and I’m loving it, but I’m learning a lot in the process. It’s definitely stretching me as a dad, but it is a treasure and an incredible opportunity to be alive, raising kids. So I’m just very grateful.

 

Kent Evans:

I think that’s one of the reasons why you and I hit it off when we first met was because we would go to the Fatherhood CoMission event in North Georgia and just cry together because of all of our father. I’m kidding. We have kids the same ages, right? I have a 22-year-old down to a six-year-old. And so I’m living those stages. Now, Lawson, his kids are grown and basically out of the house.

 

Lawson Brown:

Well, they’re with us right now, but they’ve been out, come back, getting ready to move, go again. Long story. I won’t take everybody through the… Hopefully, some of our loyal audience has heard some of that before, but yeah, my girls are going on 24, 21 and we just moved from Smyrna to Florida. So we were right off Windy Hill, Atlanta Road.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

I used to work at Chick-fil-A at Cumberland Mall, man. I was not far from where you were.

 

Lawson Brown:

Yeah. But I’m really glad to meet you in person Stephen, my youngest daughter and I watched Show Me The Father and I didn’t know going into it exactly what it was, what to expect. I knew it was a documentary. Man that was so good. I’m glad I didn’t just pick a lazy Sunday afternoon and watch it by myself I’m glad Olivia was with me because it’s since spurred some other conversations too. Our family and our stage for me as a father, my stage of fatherhood is they’re moving toward friendship with me and some mentoring. And we’re talking about their future husbands, their future children of theirs and what they are craving, maybe what they foresee and the husband to be one day, hypothetically, who is out there somewhere and how they are planning to raise children of their own and what’s important to them in a godly father.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

I’m right there with you. We’ve been having conversations often about what you’re looking for in a future spouse. I took my daughter on a breakfast date yesterday and we were talking about, I said, “You need to be so picky of all the decisions that you make, this one of kind of the husband you have needs to be big deal, super serious.” And so she’s already got pages of things she’s praying over in her future husband. And she’s beautiful and loves God and walking in wisdom. And my wife and I call her walking awesome. He’s going to have to be a special guy because she’s going to be the one that’s like get out of the way and let’s go conquer the mountain. Are you going to come join me or not? That’s how she thinks.

 

Kent Evans:

Well, it sounds like Carris is cut from the same cloth as my wife. She’s made me a better man. That’s for sure. We talked Stephen before we started recording about you and me and Lawson together, and we could talk about fatherhood for hours and you will have no shortage of biblical wise counsel. And there were a couple things you mentioned in our pre-show brief that I would love to touch on with you because I think you’ve got your finger on the pulse of what a lot of dads are wrestling with. Let me kick it off and just spin the top and we’ll see where it goes, where God leads us. The topic is stress and anxiety in the hearts and minds of our children. When I mention that topic, where does your mind go and can you tell us a little bit about… And you can be as guarded as you need to be some of what you’ve walked through over the last months and year?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Well, we’ve been in the thick of that and we are in a generation where the research is saying, kids are higher anxiety levels, more depressed, more suicidal. Now the addictions of heroin and all that opioids, all that stuff has been on the rise with teenagers. And when you look at it, there’s a lot of factors that are at place. Social media it’s been proven is not only addictive, it’s not only keeping them up late at night. They’re comparing themselves with everyone else’s fantasy life. And they’re getting very jealous, very jaded, very depressed at the same time. And then the knowledge of evil actually is very depressing. If you think about it, we grew up and you might hear the newspaper or on three news channels about something that’s going on, around the world or whatever. These kids can scroll through social media, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, they have access to all the evil that’s going on in the world simultaneously. And anytime you increase your knowledge of the brokenness of this world, it can be very… You start grieving or you become very callous and hardhearted. And so all of that ramped up with having to wear masks, having their schools shut down, having to separate from their friends and their family being told no a lot, you can’t play soccer. The team is quarantined this week. No, you can’t go back to school. They’re being jerked around like crazy. And the anxiety levels of our kids are at an all-time high. And so I recently this past week, I was talking about how, when Jesus showed up on the scene, He saw people and He says they were stressed out basically. And He viewed them like sheep without a shepherd. And so the sheep without a shepherd are like I don’t know where to go for food. I’m scared, I don’t feel protected. I have no direction. I don’t know who I’m following. I don’t know what’s going on. That describes our generation. Well, the description of a dad is he is a shepherd over his family, over his wife and his kids. And if you can read John 10, the way Jesus described His role as a shepherd and apply that to your own life saying, what do I need to in my leadership of my own kids? How do I love them? Because a shepherd does provide for his children and that’s part of a dad’s role. He does protect, he leads by example, but he is constantly loving, nurturing, helping sheep to calm down and be able to sit down by green pastures and a drink beside this steel waters. And when they walk through the valley of death, they’re not freaking out. So we’ve been in the middle of that with my kids. I can give you a lot of specific examples, but right now I think dads need to become the experts on their children to find out how they’re doing and then how they can step in and shepherd in this situation. Because there’s times when your kid’s freaking out and when you’re ready to smack them or you just need to find out what’s going on or to comfort them. So those are some of the things that dads are like I don’t know what to do. Do I spank my kid or I hold him and tell him, I love him?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

I was going to ask you the balance between… So we have recently moved and found a church down here. And just a couple of weeks ago, the pastor who I really dig, he’s real positive. You can just get a great positive vibe from him and he seems very empathetic, very caring. Part of his message was about younger generation. And he said, “Let me speak from a 60 year old man standpoint, a little older to anyone, let’s say 45, 50 and up. Stop talking down about this younger generation and lift them up, lift them up in prayer, lift them up scripture. They have it hard. It is hard out there to operate different than when we were there.” So how do you think about balance Stephen?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Like you said, do I spank them do I lift them… There is a balance between, yeah, it’s a tough world out there. You got to work hard and you got to do so and so. Or on the converse of that, just maybe overly empathetic and protective and how do you find that right balance? I guess, how does your faith and scripture and prayer come into all that? Well, I would say I pray often for my kids and I’m like God, please help me to know what to do. Our adopted daughter, because of abandonment as a child, us taking her out of an orphanage at two and a half, she would wake up in the middle of the night, crying and screaming at random times, she wouldn’t be able to let go of food or she’d freak out if you took a toy out of her hand, just overreaction all these things. And we had to learn to be very compassionate and patient and not just assume she needed to be spanked or sent to her room in the midst of a panic attack. So the first thing is asking God for discernment and wisdom is a must. Secondly, in the book of Proverbs, Solomon, the wisest king, whoever lived apart from Jesus, he said, be diligent to know the state of your flock and look well to them. And basically he’s saying work hard to know the true condition of the people or the resources and things that you’re leading. As a car, I would be diligent to know, is your car low on oil, gas, how are the tires? But when it comes to kids, you need to work hard as a dad to know how is each kid, because they’re all completely different. How are they doing? How are they managing stress? How are they handling situations? So one of the things that I’ve begun to do is to go in at night, because that’s usually when they’re starting to calm down and get ready for bed, they don’t really want to go to bed, and I’ll lay down next to my kids and I’ll say, how are you doing? And I’ll just shut up and just let them talk. And then I’ll say what you’ve been thinking about a lot lately? Now when that question of what you’ve been thinking a lot about lately, I’m basically saying, what’s going on inside your heart right there? And I will lower my tone of voice, I’ll speak very softly and gently and I just let them talk. And here’s what I’m looking for. How are they truly doing? What are they stressed about? What do they need from me right now? Because if sometimes they’re hurting and they’re grieving and they need to be comforting and for you just to say, man, I’m really sorry, you’re having a hard time right now. Sometimes it’s they need instruction or direction. Sometimes they need encouragement, whatever it is when I speak tenderly to them… And I do this with my sons too, I’ll wrap my arms around them sometimes and just hold them and then I’ll start whispering in their ear. And I’ll say, I just want you to know I love you, I’m so grateful for you. I’m grateful for what God’s doing in your life. I’ve been praying for you. I just want you to know, I know it’s been tough, but you’ve got me and mom in your corner and we want nothing, but God’s best for you in every area and we’re cheering you on. You’re going to make it through this. I mean that little speech applies to just about any kid at any stage of life.

 

Kent Evans:

Is that something Stephen that you learned in your own home growing up? Was that modeled for you?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Yes, my dad, because he had multiple sclerosis would come home from work and he had to lay on his bed and he couldn’t really move, his legs were barely working, but he would just sit there and think, and so I’d come in and he’d say, come in and tell me how you’re doing. I’d end up laying on the… We would be on top of the covers of the bed, but we would lay side by side and stare at the ceiling. And he’d say what you been thinking about? And he’d just listen. And here’s what it did, it tied my heart to his heart because he was speaking to me as someone who loved me, cared about me, was thinking about me and wanted the best for me. And because I knew that even when he rebuked me or correct me or saying, don’t do that’s stupid. He did it from the context of I’m in your corner and I’m cheering you on, like a coach on the sidelines, turn around and face the game, what do you do? But because he had my heart, I listen to him and that’s a key issue as you want to win your kids’ hearts back over and it’s an ongoing romance of, like when you used to court your wife, what would you do? You’d take her on date, you’d buy her things. You’d, tell her how beautiful she is, whatever. So I do that with my kids in a fatherly way where telling them, man, you’re so smart or I’m so proud of you or man, this is fantastic or that was a funny joke son or great job in the game. And sometimes I will just bring it really down and I’ve just lower my volume, my tone of voice and I speak very tenderly to them.

 

Kent Evans:

It’s interesting you say that because I know you’ll correct me because you’re the film guy on this call and sometimes I think in our fatherhood, we think what the plot is happening in our families, it’s actually the sub plot and vice versa. So to your point about your dad, he might have been talking to you about events of the day and that may have seemed to you at 10 or 12 as the plot. But the real plot was your hearts were being tied together. And so as I engage my kids on these topics, that may seem like what’s going on the surface, but what’s really going on is I’m building a bank of trust. I’m building a bank of listening. I’m building a bank of information that over time I’m going to cash those chips as I disciple them and encourage them. Is that part of what’s happening in that setting Stephen?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Absolutely. Because what I’m doing is I’m answering a few questions. One, what do they need from me right now? And that begins with where are they and what’s going on in their heart and mind? Sometimes they don’t really know what they need. They’re just freaking I out. And sometimes they are depressed and they don’t know why. And what I do in that context is I usually just back up and I look at their life from the last six months and it gets really clear why they’re down or up or excited or the last week, because I realize, hey, you haven’t had a day of rest. You’ve been working like crazy. Or your girlfriend broke up with you two weeks ago. You’re still down about that, grieving it. Or you missed out on that big event or usually if you back up and look at your kids, it gets really clear what’s going on.

 

Lawson Brown:

It also gives them the time and the ability to verbalize it and talk about it. And sometimes just the process of getting that out, they come to their own realization of what’s going on. Another thing I loved about what you were saying, when you just hold them tight and whisper in their ears, that what you said was that you’re telling them, you love what is going on, how you’re seeing God move in their life. That’s so reassuring for a father to do that. And I’m curious, so met a guy last week and we actually had a nine hole afternoon golf yesterday.And while getting to know each other, he was talking about last year… He’s in real estate. Last year in Florida was bananas, crazy busy. And he said, “I had the best year ever loved it, but worked so much that my wife and I over the Christmas holiday sat down and said, we have got to be more intentional because the kids are 16, 18.We’ve got a finite time where they’re living here with us.” And I feel okay, last year was last year. This year, we’re going to do a third of the work on purpose so that we spend that other two thirds with our children, because time is so important. And being intentional is so important. Like you said, you’re making that time because you got to have a relationship that goes beyond just the guy that flips in and out and maybe throws a kind word here and there, or some advice. They don’t listen unless they… It doesn’t sink in I should say until you have that, like you said, you’re tying your heart to their heart.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

I’m in the same battle is worked on three movies this past year. And what I’ve noticed is if I do just try to say no to work, I’ll end up filling in that extra time with other work, if I’m not careful. And so what I would say is what does help me is go ahead and plan the priority events with your… We’re going to do the birthday party here. We’re going to take the father, son, daughter trip here. Go ahead and front load your calendar with those things that you want to happen, and then let your work bleed in around it with the leftover time. If you just say no to work, but you don’t preplan those events, other things will drop right into those spots and you’ll still finish the year wondering why you didn’t spend time with your kids.

 

Kent Evans:

Hey dad, do you wrestle with anger, man? I sure have. And so have thousands of other dads in our email list. And so what we did for those dads and for you, we built a special digital course called The Anger Free Dad. This did digital course is chalk full of almost 50 assets, a bunch of teaching videos, a ton of PDF booklets and worksheets. So you can walk through and understand your anger triggers, the expectations underneath and how to pull those out of your heart and mind so you can be a dad who is less angry and more at peace. If you take this course and you do not become less angry, you will get all of your money back. Plus we’ll send you some boxing gloves so you can beat up the wall at your house with all of your mad anger. Dad come take The Anger Free Dad course today at manhoodjourney.org/anger-free-dad, that’s manhood journey.org/anger-free-dad.

 

Kent Evans:

I heard a pastor one time who was talking on the topic of sabbath, Stephen and he said that he takes a Thursday off and that’s his sabbath because Sunday he preaches. And one of his staff members said, “What are you doing Thursday?” And he says, “I have nothing on my calendar Thursday.” And the staff member says, “Great, can we have lunch?” He goes, “No. I have nothing on my calendar Thursday.” The staff member goes, “Great so we can have lunch.” He goes, no, let me try this again. I have nothing on my calendar. Thursday, I have nothing. And he was driving home the point that no, man, the whole day’s off on purpose. Nothing is an appointment. It’s called nothing. So take us back through I want to touch on something you mentioned earlier that I think a lot of dads can overlook. I think back to the Garden of Eden. And when God said to Adam and Eve don’t eat that tree. A lot of times people have thought it’s the tree of evil. It’s not that this tree of evil, it’s a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And so part of what we’re really collapsing under to your point is this onslaught of the amount of evil we have access to. Now we self select some of that, I mean, if you’re on Twitter all day long, you’re asking for it. How can we as dads help guard our children from some of this stress and anxiety? What are some ways that either you’ve done it wrong and you’ve decided to do it right this coming year or you did it right you were yeah, you know what? My wife and I, this is one rule we have, or… I’m not looking for rules. I’m trying to drive at some practical ideas for how dads can stem the tide of some of this access to evil and this knowledge of evil. What would you tell a dad who feels overwhelmed by all that?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

I can tell you what we do in my home. I intentionally pray the model prayer and I just flesh it out. I’m praying Our Father Who art in Heaven. You’re awesome. You’re holy. You’re amazing. And when I get to deliver us from evil and deliver us from temptation and evil, because it is so much more prominent now than I remember growing up with, my parents were shielding us from all kinds of stuff. I would say first, the schooling that your kids have, have you placed them in an environment within the school that is constantly filling their minds with stressful information and evil? Telling them they evolved out of nowhere for no reason, they exist for no purpose, they make up their own rules and when they die, they’re just food for worms. When you start with those faulty twisted foundations that are not true, they begin with this entity crisis of not even know why they’re here or what is right and wrong. And so education is a big deal. We’ve both done home education and Christian school education. Our kids still get very involved in other activities that we will select in their lives. Then when it comes to entertainment, our kids don’t get cell phones until they get driver’s license. I know some people are like what? My kid had a cell phone when they’re eight years old. Now I may hand my eight-year-old daughter, a cell phone in a doctor’s office to play a clean game, while we’re sitting there, but she does not have her own phone sitting in a room scrolling, comparing herself with the fantasies of all her friends. It is addictive and all addictions will enslave you and then depress you when you’re not doing them. But it also shields our kids where they’re hearing truth, through us and through good sources. We try to fill our library with good books, with good music, with good movies, and not just ours, but other movies that are out there.

 

Kent Evans:

I was going to say, AKA, Kendrick Brother’s Films, a moment we’re going to pause for a moment for a word from our sponsor.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

But I’m saying basically you want to put your kids in a river of the positive and by default, they won’t have time to do the negative. If my daughter’s sitting down eating this amazing seven course delicious healthy meal, she ain’t going to want to go eat the Cheetos and the moldy Oreos in the back corner after it’s over with. So you fill up their schedules with good activities, good books, good resources, invite people over, have great conversations. My life is full of great things. We eat great food, that’s healthy and we have great conversations around the table. We have great friends over, we watch great movies. We go to great places, hang out with great people and do great activities. And when we’re doing that by default, we don’t have time to go watch the junk, and even the movies that I do select, I’ll use ClearPlay or VidAngel and I can select what I will allow them to watch or not watch. I can take out some words and leave in others. I can take out certain scenes. How many movies you’re like man, that’s a great movie, except for that one scene? Well, you can use clearplay.com or vidangel.com and you can filter all that stuff out with today’s technology. And then the stuff I do allow my kids to see, I may be sitting right there with them say, “Okay, let’s talk about that. Was that the right thing to do? Or what are there going to be the consequences?” Because movies will show you the drunk and party without the hangovers and the pregnancies and the STDs the next morning, they act like it’s all great. And so we talk of about the consequences of our decisions in the midst of that stuff.

 

Kent Evans:

Man, and I love what you said about river of positive. So often as parents, we’re trying to be the do not do it, police, not that, not that, not that, not that. And man, it’s just so much easier if we’re flooding their life with something that’s a good option. Oh my word for sure. So at the risk of running out of time with you, I’ve got all day, you’ve got to schedule to keep you mentioned on our pre-call the word cherish. And I don’t want to forget that. It may tie to what you just said I’m not sure, but I got in the back of my mind, the word cherish, take us through what God’s been showing you on this word, cherish.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Okay. So the word cherish people use it and we hear it cherish the love we have, but they’re what does that word mean? And I have yet to have a person who actually knows what that word means when I ask them. And so I researched it. I was like in Ephesians 5, it says, husbands are to love their wives and cherish them and nourish them and love them like Christ loved the church. I’m well, what does that mean if I was to be doing that? The word cherish actually is tied to motherhood. And here’s what the picture is. You’ve got this infant that’s cold, naked, alone and hungry, crying out for mom. In the dark waking up in the middle of the night, freaking out, doesn’t know where they are, who they are, what’s going on. What is mom do? She hears the cry jumps up out of the bed, goes into the nursery, flips on the light, picks up the child nurses it, holds it tenderly, caresses its head, speaks tenderly to this child and what happens? The baby calms down, is fed protected, safe. This is such a transformational experience for this infant that even a soldier in Saving Private Ryan on his… As he’s bleeding to death starts going mama, mama, mama, what do we do? People want to crawl under their covers in a fetal position when life is falling apart and they want to come to a place of shalom, at peace where they are not freaking out anymore. Because that baby goes from fear, hunger, cold, naked, alone to feeling loved and caressed and held. All of its needs are met in that moment. Completely safe in mommy’s arms. So the Bible says a man should do that for his wife and for his family. Oh, what does that mean? I walk in the door from work my wife is, stressed out. Two of my kids are fighting. The house is a total disaster. Everything on her to-do list is not going to happen. She looks at me and she says, “I haven’t even started on dinner and it’s already 6:00. The trash is overflowing in the house. She’s like, “I’ve had to separate two of your children because they’re about to kill each other.” The dog is vomiting on the carpet, whatever. Everything breaks out all at once. Now, if I respond like a lot of dad’s do walk and I start screaming and yelling and why is the house wreck and how come dinner’s not ready yet? I’m just going to go get alone and watch the game or whatever. Then I’m a total idiot. What am I supposed to do in that situation? I should be stepping in and taking an environment that is out of control and bringing it to shalom. And so that may mean me first walking over to my wife and wrapping my arms around her and kissing her saying, “Sweetheart, I love you and I’m sorry, you’ve had a hard day.” Then I turn around and I talk to my kids and say, “Go to my room, you’re in trouble.” And then I grab the trash and take it out. Then I’d say, “Hey, I’ve got dinner tonight. I’m going to call Shogun, I’ll order hibachi or sushi or whatever.” And wife looks at me thank you, Superman for showing up when the world is falling apart. But basically within 30 minutes, I’ve spanked one kid, I’ve comforted another, I have taken out the trash, I’ve called Shogun, I’ve hugged my wife and there’s shalom in my home. Does that make sense? And sometimes that applies to one child, you walk in their room, they’re freaking out, they’re grieving over one thing, they’re stressed and worried about something else. And you’re going to cherish that child. You’re going to step in where they’re hungry, angry, lonely, tired and in just a few moments when dad step in the room, the lights come on, there’s comfort. You’re touching them, holding them, comforting them, speaking truth into their life. And man, it will transform. It goes from fear to comfort, from panic and worry to a place of hope and reassurance because you’re being the hands and feet of Jesus to your kids in that context. That’s what cherishing looks like.

 

Kent Evans:

That’s fantastic. And a few minutes ago, when you went on the rant of how some dads come home, add a lot more fuel to the fire, you could have just said, “Hey, Kent, stop doing it. You didn’t have to just act I’m not here on the call.” I mean, I’m sitting right, Stephen. Man, I have come home so often and added more stress to the equation than less, I’m learning. I’m in the process of learning that I can take two minutes out in the car… I’m pointing to my driveway at my house. I can take two minutes out in my car and think, all right, when I walk in, I’m going to try to be the bringer of peace here. I’m going to try to be the shalom dad, the cherish dad. That would be an amazing and transformational experience for a lot of dads. If we could just pause, ask God for the strength to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Is this something you’ve always done as a dad? Or has it been like a learned thing over…

 

Stephen Kendrick:

No, definitely. It’s an ongoing learning process, but guys, it’s amazing when the kids begin to look forward to dad coming home rather than, oh my goodness, the angry, tired, disconnected leader of our family has walked in the door and he’s in his own little world of selfishness and there’s chaos around him. He’s a shepherd that’s asleep on the watch while the wolves are eating up his sheep. And so we cannot be that. We have to say, God, give me the strength, the wisdom, the grace, and stuff. And let me say this it can be fun if you’re a Superman in your home and you show up on the scene, it can be awesome that it’s better than an action movie. Because it’s not pixels on a theater screen. It’s a reality in your home and for your wife to look at you and say, after the kids go down tonight, sweetheart, I am all yours. And you’re that’s what I’m talking about.

 

Kent Evans:

Well, and I’m going to let Lawson ask the last question, but I want to make sure before we get off Hunter, we got to make sure in the show notes, we add a link to the song, Cherish the Love from the ’80s. I don’t know who that was like Dionne Warwick, who was that? I had no idea who that was, but when the minute you did that song, Stephen, I could play that song back it’s like a slow skate at the roller rink. I went back 40 years in my life, Lawson land, the plane brother.

 

Lawson Brown:

I was just going to say, a lot of the reason I think about while we’re doing the podcast is encouragement, encouragement to other fathers. I just want to tell you, Stephen, thank you for being here without knowing you I think people would believe or think you know that this guy’s making Christian movies, he’s got a big family, a big beautiful family online. He’s probably got it all together. And to hear you rattle through, what you just went through about the house being all out of whack. It’s relatable. I know that you’re like many other dads there are days when it goes great and sometimes you’ve got a lot of things that you’re dealing with. So what would you say to the guys out there that are listening that are maybe in those moments now from an encouragement standpoint, what is it that you cherish yourself that you hold onto that gives you strength to get through the tough times?

 

Stephen Kendrick:

Well, the Bible says that we stand on God’s promises because we don’t know the future. And so when I think about that, there is a hope in a future that God has for us, that He can take any terrible situation and turn it around for good. And that Jesus said in this world, you will have trouble in tribulations, but take comfort I have overcome the world and I’m with you in the journey. And so when I think about walking into chaos in my home, when I think about we’ve dealt with weird doctors stuff with our kids, medical issues, depression with our kids at different times when they’re stressed out about things or they’re grieving over issues. And I just come back to man this is… The whole world, just went through a pandemic and people are depressed. They’re freaking out. It’s the time when we are not to be overcome by evil, we are to overcome evil with good, is what Romans 12:21 says. Man, I quote that verse probably three times a week, be not overcome by evil, you overcome evil with good. Every heroic movie, you got the Bravehearts and the Gladiators and the Avengers, Endgame and whatever, it’s always, everything’s falling apart, dark night and the soul. We don’t know what to do, the bad guy’s about to win. And then somebody rises up with courage and kicks his tail. I mean, it happens in every movie and you’re like yes, that’s what we’ve been waiting on. That’s why Spider-Man is doing so well in the theaters. We want to see somebody who is broken and inadequate, that we can relate to rise above the ashes like a phoenix and overcome evil with good. And really that’s the message of scripture as to what Jesus did with His dead brother resurrection. He overcame all sin, death, hell and the grave, through that. And that’s what He’s calling us to do in our daily context. Even though it may just be how we overcome, algebra too, with our 11th grader and our daughter shows up and she’s now going through a period and her cycles all out of whack and you’re trying to deal with emotions and hormones and all that stuff. I mean, that’s my world. And that’s the world that a lot of these guys are in.

 

Kent Evans:

Hey, our daughters and sons going through the dating years, Darth Vader has nothing on that. I mean, come on. That’s easy deal with a kid trying to date somebody and texting them all the time. Best of luck with that. I’d rather fight Darth Vader most days. Stephen-

 

Lawson Brown:

Man that was great. Thank you, Stephen.

 

Kent Evans:

Yeah, man that’s amazing. You’ve always been very encouraging just in general, as I watched you from afar and even having gotten known you a little bit over the last year or two, you’re an encourager and you encourage through scripture because in the end, that’s what we have to build this on. We’re not building it on, it’s all going to be fine tomorrow because we’re going to copy them. That’s not going to work. What’s going to work is God’s word. It was here before we were here. It’ll be here forever. It’s everlasting. And so dad, I hope that our time together with Stephen Kendrick has been as encouraging to you guys as that has been to me. Thank you brother for coming on. Thank you for finding the time. I know you guys are really busy today with meetings and you were able to carve out some time to encourage what will be thousands of dads when this podcast goes live. So Stephen, thanks a ton brother. We really appreciate you.

 

Stephen Kendrick:

My pleasure guys. Thank you. I enjoyed it.

 

Kent Evans:

Hey guys, dads, man, that was… Lawson wasn’t that a blast to talk to Stephen?

 

Lawson Brown:

Dude, his energy is just off the chain. I love it. And he can rattle scripture off the top of his head. That was awesome. That was very encouraging. I think people are going to love it.

 

Kent Evans:

One of the things I’ve seen him speak about 10 times in same context and every time like I’m man, this dude has a ton of scripture just plowed into his head. I think in Psalm 119, it says I’ve hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. When I think of people who’ve hidden the word in their heart Stephen’s one of them. Dads listen if you were encouraged today, I want you to check out a couple things. One is go to kendrickbrothers.com. That’s kendrickbrothers.com and you can find links to all sorts of resources, movies, books, you name it that the Kendrick Brothers have produced over the last 10, 15 years. These guys have blazed the trail for faith-based films and have had some of the highest-grossing most successful faith-based films like War Room, Courageous and you might know Courageous came out in 2000 and I think 11. And then it came out again in 2021 with a brand new ending. They re-recorded a whole new ending to the film. It’s called Courageous Legacy. It just came out in the DVD at the time of recording this interview. So if you’re in for a feature film for your family, especially if you have teenage kids in the home, bro, watch Courageous with them. They’re going to love it. And they’re going to learn life lessons and it’s going to cause great dialogue. Secondly, you could go…. From their website, you can get to, or you can go straight to showmethefathermovie.com, showmethefathermovie.com. And you can see the documentary that the Kendrick Brothers released last year on fatherhood. Features some NFL star, features a story that if you’ve not seen that story, you won’t believe, plot twist. You’re going to love that story. I don’t want to give any more away. We hosted a showing of that film last year in Louisville and had by almost a hundred people come to the theater and we showed it at a theater in Louisville. It was awesome. It’s been a blast to get to know you… And here’s what I would say just editorially at the end of our podcast here, Stephen’s no longer on the call with us we’re recording this separately. The reason I say all that is because nobody’s perfect. I don’t put people up on a pedestal or idolized people, but I will tell you, man, I’ve been able to work with Stephen on a project or two and he is the real deal. This dude prays a lot, he knows scripture and he is in it for God’s victory, not for his own gain. And so I want to almost over-promote all of the stuff for the Kendrick Brothers, because I know these guys are going to put those resources to good use. So go check out kendrickbrothers.com or showmethefathermovie.com today and take your family through those if you haven’t seen them already. Lawson thanks a lot for hanging out with me and with Stephen this week.

 

Lawson Brown:

Yeah, that was great.

 

Kent Evans:

And guys, we’ll see you next week as we kick off our series, which I’m not even going to tell you about, no nothing. You know what? Here’s your trailer for that, boo. Nothing.

 

Kent Evans:

Hey dad, thank you for listening to today’s show. If you found this episode helpful, remember you can get all the content and show notes at manhoodjourney.org/podcast. And if you really liked it, please consider doing three things. Number one, share this podcast with someone. You can hit the share button in your app, wherever you listen to podcasts or just call a person up and tell them to listen in. Number two, subscribe to this podcast so you get episodes automatically. That helps us as well to help dads find the show. You can do that through your favorite listening app, whatever that is. And finally, review this podcast, leave us a review, good or bad wherever you listen, those reviews also help other dads find the show. You can always learn more about what we’re up to at manhoodjourney.org or fatheronpurpose.org. We will see you next week.

 

Outro:

You’ve been dozing off to the Father On Purpose Podcast, featuring Kent Evans and Lawson Brown. Now wake up head over to fatheronpurpose.org for more tools that can help you be a godly intentional and not completely horrible dad. Remember you are not a father on accident. So go be a father on purpose.