If you’re reading this, odds are you’re probably married. Many of you tell us you don’t feel equipped to be a godly husband. In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller says that just as God can remake your heart from the inside out‚ He can remake your marriage as well—starting with you. Ephesians 5:31-33 says, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself… You leave and hold fast to this profound mystery. Marriage conflict started in the beginning. I’ve heard it said that conflict is not the measure of a marriage—love is. Marriage is serious business—it’s gospel stuff. The painfully wonderful part of being a godly husband and dad? Keller says, “We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” Marriage reveals who we are—the mystery that is your attitude. Your marriage (and your fatherhood) flows from your attitude. Are you gonna live for yourself or others? Keller teaches, when Jesus was on the cross, He was “simply acting in character”. If you’re gonna be a more godly husband and dad, you’re gonna need to be more like God—and act in His character instead of your own.

What is Manhood? Manhood isn’t something you declare; it’s something you live. True manhood reflects God’s image, demonstrated through core desires like adventure, battle, and relationships. It’s about understanding the balance of power and control, the importance of honor, and the role of exchange in relationships. Men are called to follow Jesus’ example, transforming their lives through growth and discipleship, using their God-given strength for a higher purpose—serving others and expanding God’s kingdom.

Three Lessons From Tim Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage: The challenges and struggles of being a godly husband are real. That’s why it’s important to seek help and encouragement every step of the way. Tim Keller has provided insight and guidance for men seeking to make their marriage all God wants it to be. Unity, sacrifice, and love are three defining features of a godly marriage, and Keller’s book gives us a good idea of what it looks like to become a husband that embodies those attributes.

Gospel at home. Serve your wife. Your children will see it. No, you shouldn’t serve outta manipulation, but serve knowing they’ll see the gospel by how you love their mom. You can point your family to God with your attitude. Jesus said, Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Matt. 16:25). Paraphrased: If you seek happiness instead of Jesus, you’ll find emptiness. But if you seek Jesus, you’ll find joy. A selfless husband and dad will gain both heaven and a taste of heaven on earth. Read that last sentence again. I typed selfless—not selfish. ; )