It’s tempting to be focused only on outcomes as a father. Yet, those outcomes aren’t ours to fully control. I love Proverbs 3:3-4, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Be faithful. Be loving. Those two characteristics lead to favor with God and man. I want love and faithfulness to mark my life as a dad more so than trying to engineer perfect kids who make perfect choices (a fool’s chase anyway). Do your part. Faithfully. Lovingly. Let outcomes sit with God.

The godly dad actively looks for ways to serve those around him all of the time. My guess: you already serve in lots of ways. But, WHY do you do it? HOW? And, WHAT should you do? Read Ryan’s newest post How I fail at serving others and how you can too. It’ll help you answer those questions.

1. Be careful what we measure. I connected with a dad who was (perhaps just a wee bit too) proud of his adult kids and their economic achievements. Now, I know this guy well. That’s not how he measures their true worth. Yet, it reminded me to ask myself: Do I view financial abundance as the primary indicator for how my kids “turn out”? I want them to be good stewards and I rejoice when they do well. But, I must be careful what scoreboard I use along the way. Incidentally, I’d love my kids to have tons of dough and be wildly generous (duh: I run a non-profit).

2. Teaching your kids about sex is kinda like teaching them to drive a car. It’s not a one-time thing, it’s not “a talk” (that term, Grrr!). It happens over time, incrementally. To steer your kids in the right direction, grab this blog post we wrote for our friends at Proven Ministries.

3. Focus on building virtue, not outcomes. Great advice for parents with kids in sports from former MLB Pitcher Pat Combs, author of More Than the Score, on this week’s zoom call with The Gathering (Houston).

4. Be a planter. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Rejoice in faithfulness. Our culture (disproportionately) rewards and recognizes the big winner, fast grower, and economic achiever. As dads, we need to cultivate a heart of faithful diligence in our kids. This week, let’s look into their lives and spot places where they’re being faithful — perhaps even in spite of measurable outcomes. Give them a pat on the back, not for the win, but for trusting the process.

Make it a great week,

Kent Evans
Author of the The Manhood Journey, co-founder of Manhood Journey and Father On Purpose.

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Let me know what you think. Tell Ryan if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.