James 1:19 gives us a framework for our relationships and our leadership at home: listen first, speak carefully, and don’t let anger be your default setting.

#1 Quick to hear. James writes to believers who know God’s Word but react instead of listening. “Quick to hear” means actual, humble listening to God and to those around you. We can look faithful while reading the Bible, but it means little if we come to His Word already set on what it means “for someone else” instead of us.

We so often talk instead of listen. Funny thing—leadership doesn’t start with talking. Leading your family starts by slowing down, closing the laptop, and listening before speaking.

#2 Slow to speak. James warns that quick, badly-timed words show self-interest vibes, not wisdom. “Slow to speak” requires holding your thoughts until God’s truth is understood and applied. Learning requires slowness. We’re so quick to justify ourselves instead of letting the Word correct us. Pause, ask better questions, and pick words after you understand the other person.

#3 Slow to anger. Anger kills our ability to hear God and others. James connects quick words with igniting a flame of emotion. The world celebrates venting—just scroll on social for that—but wisdom practices restraint. Resist having a sharp tone or venting all your frustrations all the time. Give your argument to God instead of acting as judge and jury.

10 Bible Verses That Define a Father’s Responsibility: The world blurs what fatherhood means, but Scripture doesn’t flinch. These ten verses cut through the noise, showing how God defines a father’s role and what’s at stake when we take it seriously.

Am I Leading, Or Just Reacting? – Overwhelmed to Intentional (Part 3): Feeling stretched thin and stuck in reaction mode? Lawson and I break down what it means to lead with clarity instead of chaos, and why putting space between the moment and your mouth might be the most important move you make all week.

Charles Spurgeon: “Anger does a man more hurt than that which made him angry.”

This week, practice one discipline: pause before you speak. This small thing can change everything. When that argument heats up in your living room, don’t correct, defend, or explain. Say nothing. Nothing is often your best move.

When it’s time to speak, skip the rebuttal and ask one clarifying question, then listen again. Brother, trust me here. James 1:19 reminds us that connection often starts by shutting up. Listening builds trust. Slow words guard against future regret. You lead the moment when you decide to listen instead of stating your case. This is the path to setting a godly example in your home. You got this.

Kent Evans
Author of Don’t Bench Yourself, co-founder of Manhood Journey

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.