If I asked your kid, “Is your dad often angry?” Would he say, “Oh, dad’s fine…” “…except for first thing in the morning before he’s had his coffee.” Paul wrote Ephesians 6:4 to you. Fathers: This means you. You have the lead responsibility of training your kid. Not the sole responsibility, but the lead responsibility. Imagine this: There’s a problem with my kid’s behavior. Jesus knocks on the door. My wife answers. Jesus would say, “Hello, April, is Kent home? He and I need to talk.” Do not provoke your children to anger: God knows you can exasperate your kid. Your words and actions carry invisible weight. Are you overly harsh? Inconsistent with discipline? Put too much pressure on him? All can provoke your kid to anger. You’re called to encourage rather than discourage. If you walk around upset most evenings, your kid will notice. That’s what not to do, Paul also says what to do. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord: “Bring them up” means providing. “Discipline” involves training and nurturing. “Instruction” is teaching and wise counsel. Recognize the difference between your kid being bad and you being irritated.

DISCIPLESHIP TRAINING WITH YOUR KIDS: Make disciples. That’s what Jesus told His followers just before He went back to heaven. As a dad, you might not be called to move your family to the other side of the world, but you can make disciples under your own roof. As the primary spiritual mentor of your kids, you can point them toward Jesus and walk with them each step of the way. Read on to discover what discipleship training is all about and how you can make it work with your children today.

CHRIS HARPER ON BECOMING A BETTER MAN: Contrary to popular opinion, quitting is not always a bad thing. It really depends on your “why.” If you’re giving up because you feel defeated or frustrated, you’re probably heading in the wrong direction. But if you’re letting go because you feel God pulling you toward a new adventure, you’re right on target. Chris Harper, speaker and CEO of BetterMan, discusses this tension between living in defeat and experiencing the victory of completely surrendering to God’s “holy discontent.” His wisdom and insight will help you navigate the challenges you’re facing and put you on solid footing.

“The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change.” —Paul David Tripp

“The happiest and holiest children in the world are the children whose fathers succeed in winning both their tender affection and their reverential and loving fear. And they are the children who will come to understand most easily the mystery of the fatherhood of God.” —John Piper

“You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here’s how – guaranteed! Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your spirituality. Train your children to do the same. Embrace a long list of do’s and don’ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately… yet never own up to the fact that its hypocrisy. Act one way but live another. And you can count on it – emotional and spiritual damage will occur.” —Charles “Chuck” Swindoll

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” —C.S. Lewis

Raise’em right. Your goal is to help your kid grow into an adult who thinks and acts biblically. If you only want your kid to get a high-paying job or a prestigious college degree, check your heart. Know what God wants instead of only what you want. Start with assessing yourself. Maybe you’re irritated this morning, not because your kid got up too early, but because you were up too late. One surefire way to not “bring up your kid” is to embody 18 years of hypocrisy in your home. Give God control of your words and actions, and let His grace take care of the rest.

Kent Evans
Author of Bring Your Hammer, co-founder of Manhood Journey

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.