There are no neutral words. You’re either building up or tearing down, positive or negative. Proverbs 12 and Ephesians 4 show how crucial our words are. It’s helpful to remember the 4 T’s: #1 Truth. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths… (Eph. 4:29). If you’ve been known to bend the truth, stop. For the believer, truth should be your habit. Knowing God means you know the truth and you tell it. #2 Tact. …but only such as is good for building up… (Eph. 4:29). You’ll get angry as a dad. But your anger doesn’t have to make your words sinful. Be intent on building up. Proverbs 12:18 says, There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Use your words to bring healing rather than hurting. #3 Time. …as fits the occasion… (Eph. 4:29). Paul’s basically saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Watch the timing of your words and think before you speak. Not every thought requires immediate sharing. #4 Tone. …that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph. 4:29). Has your wife ever said, “It’s not what you said, but how you said it.” Please tell me I’m not the only one! Imagine considering the person you’re talking to so much that you truly desire to help rather than simply prove your point.

THE ANGRY FATHER CHECKLIST (7 TIPS FOR A LEVEL HEAD): Angry fathers may come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. But they all share some things in common. And those common traits also hold the key to finding help and healing. They provide the foundational checklist for identifying the anger issues that drag you down so you can become the man God created you to be.

HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR WORDS: The old cliche says that we’re born with two ears and only one mouth for a really good reason. Unfortunately, that doesn’t keep most of us from letting our words wreak havoc in our lives more times than we’d like to admit. Whether we’re dishing it out or standing in the crosshairs, we’ve all seen the destruction caused by insults, lies, gossip, and dozens of other word-based sins. Thankfully, God understands that so many of us struggle with our words. That’s why He gave us passages like Proverbs 12 to remind us that a war of words produces no winners, only casualties. And He’s shown us a better way!

“We are not called to be perfect in our words, but we are called to be purposeful in our speech.” —Craig Groeschel.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” —Benjamin Franklin.

“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.” —Carl Sandburg.

From heart to mouth. From the heart, the mouth speaks. The words you use, words chosen with truth/tact/timing/tone—make a difference. If we could see how our words would land before uttering them, we’d dial back the negative and ramp up the positive. Paul ended Ephesians 4 with five sins [bitterness/wrath/anger/clamor/slander]. God calls us to replace those sins with kindness/tenderheartedness/forgiveness (4:31-32). How can we do it? Because God does this for us. God is kind/tenderhearted/forgiving to you, so you can be kind/tenderhearted/forgiving to your family. By your mouth, your heart will be known. There’s no neutral ground, so mind your mouth.

Kent Evans
Author of Bring Your Hammer, co-founder of Manhood Journey

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

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