Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s talk about love. I used to attend a men’s retreat annually with some close friends. It was always a ton of fun and a great learning experience. We’d each bring some ideas and thoughts with us too, and we shared these in our cabin or hotel rooms as our own mini-seminar. One year, my friend Ross took the “love chapter” in the Bible (1 Cor 13), and walked us through a powerful (but painful) experience. In that chapter, we read various aspects of love. “Love is patient, love is kind…”. The exercise was this: everywhere I saw “love” I had to replace it with my own name. “Kent is patient, Kent is kind…”. Ouch, ouch, OUCH! Each time I wrote my name (“…Kent is not irritable…”) I felt like more and more of a fraud. It’s been more than fifteen years, and that experience still rings in my head. How about you? How well does your name look in those spots? If you’re like me, you still have a lot to learn about love!

What is discipleship? The fundamental goal of discipleship is to be like Jesus—to think, act, speak, feel, treat other people the way Jesus did (no big deal, He only did all those things perfectly). This will not be a solo adventure. Discipleship will always involve other people: learning from and teaching others Who Christ is and how to be more like Him.

We become more patient with our kids through God’s Spirit: Have you ever wanted more fruit of the Spirit in your life? When talking about patience specifically, It’s important we dads realize that our kids have a genetic desire to connect with us. Therefore, they’ll bug us even when our work obligations or the game have our attention. It’s our job to call on God’s Spirit for the patience and gentleness to respond appropriately. They need us when they need us, not when our schedules allow.

“You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

“Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility.” – Thomas a Kempis

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh

Insert (your name here). Drop your name into the 1 Cor 13 passage. And, you gotta use your head here. In some spots, it breaks down (“The greatest of these is … (Not You and Not Kent).”). Yet, it’s a helpful exercise. As you do it, ask God to show you where you can love better this week. He will. But, watch out, it might sting a little.

Kent Evans
Author of The Manhood Journey, co-founder of Manhood Journey and Father On Purpose.

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.